RachelNova
Virgin
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2018
- Posts
- 23
Anxious? Nervous? Anticipation?
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Anxious? Nervous? Anticipation?
This was why my first time is etched so hard in my brain. Wasn’t planned, thought I was going on regular date. Shock and awe serious Domination.
I really hope that you were not harmed or traumatized. Consent is crucial. It can't just be something that someone drops on you in the middle or a first date. There is a lot of negotiation involved where you arrange this type of thing face to face with someone.
No it was with consent and awesome
I really hope that you were not harmed or traumatized. Consent is crucial. It can't just be something that someone drops on you in the middle or a first date. There is a lot of negotiation involved where you arrange this type of thing face to face with someone.
My experience is that there can be a lot of negotiation involved, but there doesn't have to be.
To answer the OP, my favorite feeling has to do with trust.
When I'm with someone new, there is that base level of trust present, because if there weren't, I probably wouldn't be with them in the first place. But at the same time because it is someone new, someone I don't know through and through, I can't really be sure of their actions and reactions. So I guess my favorite feeling is trusting, but also kind of feeling unsure if I should trust.
SMH.
Yes. Yes. There does have to be negotiations done in person with a partner. Even that silly 50 Shades of Grey book explicitly covers a BDSM checklist. There is a reason for this, so consent can be established FACE TO FACE and you do not get hurt.
I worry for some of you. Genuinely.
I have a suspicion you aren't very clear on what BDSM is exactly if you don't know the basics and ground rules to put there to prevent getting you injured, assaulted, killed, trafficked, enslaved (for real, no joke), or otherwise traumatized.
http://www.bdsmwiki.info/images/1/1a/TheDifferenceBetweenBDSMAndAbuse.jpg
Thanks for you concern, but it's a little misplaced here.
I think I'm pretty well versed on what BDSM is and isn't for me, what my preferences are, how to go about finding partners that are a good fit for me and how to keep myself safe.
The only BDSM ground rule that I'm familiar with (and care about) is that there has to be consent, and in my experience giving consent doesn't have to require lengthy negotiations. It can, sure, but it doesn't have to. Your experience is different and that's perfectly fine. We're different people, after all.
I have noticed that online and here on Lit as well people see red flags everywhere and things going the slightest bit wrong is often interpreted as abuse. It all seems very black and white, whereas the reality in my experience is a little less...clear-cut I guess.
**
Sorry for the threadjack, RachelNova.
I think the topic of this thread is interesting and I hope more people will contribute despite this slight thread derailment here.
Thanks for you concern, but it's a little misplaced here.
I think I'm pretty well versed on what BDSM is and isn't for me, what my preferences are, how to go about finding partners that are a good fit for me and how to keep myself safe.
The only BDSM ground rule that I'm familiar with (and care about) is that there has to be consent, and in my experience giving consent doesn't have to require lengthy negotiations. It can, sure, but it doesn't have to. Your experience is different and that's perfectly fine. We're different people, after all.
I have noticed that online and here on Lit as well people see red flags everywhere and things going the slightest bit wrong is often interpreted as abuse. It all seems very black and white, whereas the reality in my experience is a little less...clear-cut I guess.
**
Sorry for the threadjack, RachelNova.
I think the topic of this thread is interesting and I hope more people will contribute despite this slight thread derailment here.
Read a book. One that isn't erotica. About BDSM. They exist. Non fiction, even. Come back when you do so.
No, silly woman, you don't understand the depths of homicidal and immoral depravity that bdsm can lead to!So, because seela disagrees with you, you imply she’s uninformed?
The title says “feelings.” She said how she feels.
Can you read?
Don’t worry about us subbies. We’re doing just fine.
Read a book. One that isn't erotica. About BDSM. They exist. Non fiction, even. Come back when you do so.
This is totally out of line. For a long-time lurker, you may not have picked up on board norms or dynamics. Your way works for you, great. Others practice BDSM differently, great. SSC is paramount, but other than that there is not one right way.
To the thread topic, my favorite early feeling when with a new partner is letting go.
No, silly woman, you don't understand the depths of homicidal and immoral depravity that bdsm can lead to!
Upon the initiation of bdsm-styled intercourse, all parties are required to sign various lawyer-reviewed consent forms with third party witnesses present. To prevent any signatories falling too far down the rabbit hole. If youre not careful; first you're being tied to a bedpost in your bedroom, one thing leads to another, and before you know it you'll find yourself trapped in a shipping container with 50 other unfortunates heading to Somalia on an unregistered freighter.
This is totally out of line. For a long-time lurker, you may not have picked up on board norms or dynamics. Your way works for you, great. Others practice BDSM differently, great. SSC is paramount, but other than that there is not one right way.
To the thread topic, my favorite early feeling when with a new partner is letting go.
Letting go. That fits.
No, silly woman, you don't understand the depths of homicidal and immoral depravity that bdsm can lead to!
Upon the initiation of bdsm-styled intercourse, all parties are required to sign various lawyer-reviewed consent forms with third party witnesses present. To prevent any signatories falling too far down the rabbit hole. If youre not careful; first you're being tied to a bedpost in your bedroom, one thing leads to another, and before you know it you'll find yourself trapped in a shipping container with 50 other unfortunates heading to Somalia on an unregistered freighter.
You need to google bdsm resources. You have an elementary undetstanding and making me seem out of line just shows ignorance on your behalf.
I do hope you *coincidentally* find the right person to explore your needs with that doesn't see you as the perfect prey animal. Stay ignorant and it's only a matter of time.
I'm done with this thread.
I got choke fucked last week.
Call 911!
Please see 'After the Lovin'' thread in Cafe.
That’s a beautiful thread.
It’s hard for me to answer OP’s question. My first real life BDSM experience with a Dom was also all about falling deeply in love with Necro. So, letting go and feelings of finally being home, after years of unhappiness.