You'll love this

[rgraham666]

A very funny way to deal with a telemarketer.

 

[Recidiva]

That always makes me laugh my ass off...I was going to post that one if that wasn't the one you had posted *high5*

 

[tickledkitty]

OMG. I'm still laughing.

 

[Liar]

Ha! Good one.

 

[flavortang]

Holy shit. I am crying over here. lol

 

[scriptordelecto]

Lmao!

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Dang! Is that legal to say you're a police officer and bully him into staying on the line?

I'm so gonna do that.

Pity I haven't gotten a TM call in ages. Not even from charities.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Before 9/11, when I used to get calls, I would do my East Indian voice trick.



"Hello?"

"Yes, is John Doe there?"

"No, this is Suraj."

"Suraj? Well, I'm from telemarketers are us and I'd like to sell you on an appointment."

"Uh, yes, please, come over! I was hoping you would come by so that we can discuss your membership in the cult of Kali ma."

"The cult of what?"

"The Kali Ma, my friend. Have you ever heard of her?"

"Uh, no."

"Kali is the East Indian Hindu Goddess of Death, my friend."

"The Goddess of WHAT?!"

"The Goddess of Death. She is the four armed wife of Shiva, she's typically shown wielding two swords and carrying two severed heads."

"Oh my God..."

"So anyway, sir, I'm looking for worshippers of the Kali Ma, would you be interested in setting an appointment to learn all about her?"

"Hell no, are you crazy?!" *click*

 

[cloudy]

Before 9/11, when I used to get calls, I would do my East Indian voice trick.



"Hello?"

"Yes, is John Doe there?"

"No, this is Suraj."

"Suraj? Well, I'm from telemarketers are us and I'd like to sell you on an appointment."

"Uh, yes, please, come over! I was hoping you would come by so that we can discuss your membership in the cult of Kali ma."

"The cult of what?"

"The Kali Ma, my friend. Have you ever heard of her?"

"Uh, no."

"Kali is the East Indian Hindu Goddess of Death, my friend."

"The Goddess of WHAT?!"

"The Goddess of Death. She is the four armed wife of Shiva, she's typically shown wielding two swords and carrying two severed heads."

"Oh my God..."

"So anyway, sir, I'm looking for worshippers of the Kali Ma, would you be interested in setting an appointment to learn all about her?"

"Hell no, are you crazy?!" *click*

When my kids were younger, I'd just hand the phone to one of them, and let them go to town. They're all talkers.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

When my kids were younger, I'd just hand the phone to one of them, and let them go to town. They're all talkers.

And their employer usually tells them to "persist, persist, persist." If you hang up, they nail you for it no matter what.

 

[DerelictionOfSanity]

That was evil. I loved it.

I usually start out with a polite refusal to telemarketers. I only get nasty if they start being really insistant. For instance, I had one guy who told me in a very snarky tone that I had to explain WHY I didn't want his product. I told him to shove it up his ass and hung up. Granted, that's the only time I've been quite that mean, but he had earned it.

 

[impressive]

Great clip, Rob!

I still like the very simple: "I'm busy right now, but if you'll give me your name and home phone number, I'd be happy to call you back when you're having your dinner."

 

[scheherazade_79]

Made me laugh, too

Thanks, Rob!

I'd love to do something similar, but I can't keep serious for that long when I'm bullshitting someone.

Like Imp and Cloudy's tactics, too

Mine varies. If it's a hot-sounding woman, I'll listen to everything she has to say and keep her talking as long as possible. Otherwise the script runs more like this:

- Hello, am I speaking to Zade?
* Yes.
- Hello, my name is X and I am calling from YZ Credit Card company.
* Oh.... Zade isn't actually here at the moment. She's emigrated to Australia.
- Then I will call again tomorrow.
* I don't think she was planning on coming back for at least another 5 years.
- Then when would be a good time to call, please?
* That's a tough one. Probably never.
- I will try again tomorrow. Goodbye.

 

[Bizkit_Writer]

ROFL! That was cool as hell!