YOU WANTED THE ASS...YOU GOT THE ASS!

[Lovely Latina]

Here's what critics have been saying:

I miss Lovely Latina! She'd better hurry up and get un-busy & get her cute little butt back her before I blow a gasket

So where the hell is she? Latina - if you're out there, listen up: get your spicy lil ass back here before I whup it!

LL get your ass back here and save all of us

Geezamo! I never knew my ass was in such demand! And has the power to save even!?

Well...alrighty then, as I have been instructed, here ya go:



http://a1060.g.akamai.net/f/1060/597/30minutes/www.zing.com/picture/pad0eca67a871503487b0d5b0b0197037/ff692e2b.jpg.orig.jpg


OH MY GOSHNESS!! Did I just moon the ENTIRE BB?! (*hehehe*) Ahh well...at least no one will be able to say that Lovely Latina doesn't know how to make a "grand re(ar)-entrance". LOL!


Welp...since we're all gathered here, we may as well discuss something of insignificant importance. Nay?

<dramatic pause for effect>

So just what IS IT about THE ASS??

Ginger had a fine thread a few days back regarding her incurable addiction to the wonder that is Roger's ass, but perhaps it is time to take a closer look. Yes...let's delve deeper into THE ASS, shall we?

Take my ass....er, look at my ass, for instance. G'head...look. Really...it's okay. LET IT POSSESS YOU DAMMIT! Okay...looking? Now, it's pretty average...nothing special...just two gelatinous mounds of muscle and fat cells separated by this most ridiculous-looking, gaping, panty-munching crevasse that I can only liken to a California fault line dividing the barren (but sorta kinda cute, no?) hills of a serene sand-swept desert desperately in need of a violent seismic shaking. OH YEAH BABY!!

Uhhh...*a-HEM*

Have you ever noticed that THE ASS tends to be one of those objects that if you stare at it long enough, it starts to look quite silly really? You know...like a foot, or an eggplant, or Sandra Bernhardt?

What could POSSIBLY be sexy about THAT!?

Okay...let's find out. You are now instructed (hey maybe Jade was right about my dom side...hehehe) to take the "Lovely Latina ASSinine Ass Quiz" (Cuz...as we all know...Literoticans just LOOOOOVE tests and polls!)

Please complete the following.

1. What makes an ass sexy to me is...

2. The best scene in a movie involving a naked ass belongs to...

3. What I like most about my ass is...

4. What I like least about my ass is...

5. How important is it that your mate possess a nice ass?:
A) Very important--I wanna be able to bounce PAPER money offa it!
B) Somewhat important--I need to be able to look at it without thinking "Ya know...I really should have more dairy in my diet."
C) Not that important--Hey...as long as they've at least got one...yay!

6. When I cup my ass in my hands (as I so often do), I would say that my hands cover ___% of my total square ass-age.

7. If I were given a gift certificate good for one free ass transplant with the donor of my choice (famous or non-famous), I would love to trade asses with...

8. If one day my ass were able to talk like Jim Carrey's ass does, the first thing it would say is...

9. I have kissed Laurel's cute, little Nazi ass ___ times.

(I would suggest cutting and pasting these questions into your post so that others will know which questions you are answering.)

Because in the end, it's all about THE ASS.

Spank you very much for your time and attention.

 

[Siren]

BUENO MUY BUENO....HOLA Y GRACIAS

 

[Bobtoad777]

1. What makes an ass sexy to me is...

That it wiggles and jiggles in all the right places and has that reach out and squeeze me look to it

2. The best scene in a movie involving a naked ass belongs to...

I don't know whose it was but it was in Saturday the 14th, a b movie in the early 80's

3. What I like most about my ass is...

Its Comfortable to sit on a hard surface

4. What I like least about my ass is...

Its always there

5. How important is it that your mate possess a nice ass?:

Not majorly important just a nice bonus, cause asses dont last for ever and are here for a good time

6. When I cup my ass in my hands (as I so often do), I would say that my hands cover ___% of my total square ass-age.

60%

7. If I were given a gift certificate good for one free ass transplant with the donor of my choice (famous or non-famous), I would love to trade asses with...

Wierd Al Yankovics

8. If one day my ass were able to talk like Jim Carrey's ass does, the first thing it would say is...

Shagadelics baby, now I can really talk shit.

9. I have kissed Laurel's cute, little Nazi ass ___ times.

2 or 3, give or take a dozen or so

 

[Alyrahh]

1. What makes an ass sexy to me is...
Well, that would have to be how those denims hug it's curves.

2. The best scene in a movie involving a naked ass belongs to...
Oh, geeze, am I pathetic or what? I have a complete blank on this one. I can't seem to recall a single movie that gave me the opportunity to view an ass.

3. What I like most about my ass is...
The fact that it's not only ornamental but it's functional as well!

4. What I like least about my ass is...
Those two little dimples, they remind me of eyes and scare the sh-- err, nevermind!

5. How important is it that your mate possess a nice ass?:
B) Somewhat important--I need to be able to look at it without thinking "Ya know...I really should have more dairy in my diet."

6. When I cup my ass in my hands (as I so often do), I would say that my hands cover _85__% of my total square ass-age.

7. If I were given a gift certificate good for one free ass transplant with the donor of my choice (famous or non-famous), I would love to trade asses with...
Do I have to choose just one? Well, how 'bout letting me exchange with womanlover... I might look a little silly, but boy would I be havin' myself a gropin good time!

8. If one day my ass were able to talk like Jim Carrey's ass does, the first thing it would say is...
"Get the hell offa me, you lazy bitch!"

9. I have kissed Laurel's cute, little Nazi ass __0_ times.
But boy, oh, boy would I love to!

 

[Laurel]

¡The Ass is Back!

Fucking finally! I thought I was gonna have to grovel or something... What's wrong, you no love me no more?

 

[Siren]

Hey Laurel

 

[Laurel]

LOL! I can't reach it - that's what I have you folks for (apparently) lol. I'll do my ass responses later, when I can think about them. I'm actually on my way out the door (life calls!), but I wanted to check in you lunatics first.

Alyrahh - here ya go *shakes it*

 

[Lovely Latina]

Fucking finally! What's wrong, you no love me no more?

ASS IF!

Laurelita...you are the salsa in my burrito, the sour cream in my enchilada, the picante in my taco, the pico de gallo in my...ummmm...pico de gallo jar. How could you POSSIBLY think that I no wuv you no more?????

I (well, hubby, actually) took that picture JUST for you, baby! I know how much you have been wanting of my ass. You have begged for it for far too long.

Now come back VERY soon and answer the damn questions!!



_______________________
I am moist and delicious...like a BUNDT cake.

 

[OUTSIDER]

Me love you loooong time baby.

Ohhhhh baby gime gime gime aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Nothing Butt the Bare Faxxx!

Miss Latina dear .. how lovely ... butt mmmmmm is that really your ass ... wowwwwwwwww darling?!
__________________
Are you gonna take me home tonight?
Ah down beside that red firelight
Are you gonna let it all hang out?
Fat bottomed girls
You make the rockin' world go round
~Queen~
~NOT that i mean your bottom is fat Miss Latina.. lol~

 

[Lovely Latina]

Miss Latina dear .. how lovely ... butt mmmmmm is that really your ass?!

Yep....'fraid so.

Would you also like a piece?

 

[Alyrahh]

Alyrahh - here ya go *shakes it*

I had been watching the lovely Laurel for weeks, fantasizing about the many things I would pay money to do to her. Finally, the time had come. At last Laurel was inviting my attention. My hands were visibly trembling as I grasped the waist band of her skimpy panties. Inch by beautiful inch her ass was revealed to my lustful eyes...


Maybe I'll continue this later, seems I'm feeling the need to ummmm relieve myself.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

How deliciously sinful, Miss Latina!

Yes i will have a piece please of your piece-pleasing ass ..

*holding out my eager hand in the direction of your stunning pic*

 

[ShyGuy68]

Would you also like a piece?

Ohh Lovely Latina I would ADORE a piece of that!!!

By the way, welcome back, have been wondering where you went off to!

 

[Gaucho]

Miss Latina dear .. how lovely ... butt mmmmmm is that really your ass?!

Yep....'fraid so.

Would you also like a piece?

Of all the euphemisms for fucking, I think "a piece of ass" has to be one of the worst. Who could think about cutting up two such delectable mounds of perfection? Much better to just dive right in and start licking.

As for asses in movies, I thought Sharon Stone showed a pretty nice one in "Basic Instinct" but my favorite is Madeline Stowe in "Stakeout". Yum.

I mean...YUM.

 

[Jade]

Ya know what?

I was going to think of something all witty and clever to reply with, but I am so gosh darn happy about my big sis returning that well, ... these poor little neurons just can't work for me at the moment.

Mayhap I shall try again later.

OH and...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (That was a squeal of excitement b/c that is what LL and her ass do for me!)

 

[SeXy ReDHeD]

Well, LL, Thank you for gracing us with your presence again

1. What makes an ass sexy to me is...
the way it moves beneath jeans... the way it gently sways back and forth when the person walks... mmm

2. The best scene in a movie involving a naked ass belongs to...
Matthew McConaughey (???sp??) in that movie with Sandra Bullock.. umm... umm... damn, I forgot what it's called. But anyway, that one. OR Varsity Blues... Tweeder has the nicest, firmest ass. DAMN!

3. What I like most about my ass is...
Shit. It works.

4. What I like least about my ass is...
The fact that that the best quality it has is it's function.

5. How important is it that your mate possess a nice ass?:
A) Very important--I wanna be able to bounce PAPER money offa it!
B) Somewhat important--I need to be able to look at it without thinking "Ya know...I really should have more dairy in my diet."
C) Not that important--Hey...as long as they've at least got one...yay!

B. Definitely B.

6). When I cup my ass in my hands (as I so often do), I would say that my hands cover _60__% of my total square ass-age.

7. If I were given a gift certificate good for one free ass transplant with the donor of my choice (famous or non-famous), I would love to trade asses with...
My best friend. She has the best ass.

8. If one day my ass were able to talk like Jim Carrey's ass does, the first thing it would say is...
Oh yeah baby, harder, harder!

9. I have kissed Laurel's cute, little Nazi ass _0__ times.

Whew! That took awhile, but was quite fun.
Thx. LL. Nice post!

 

[Dreamer1]

Ya know what?

I was going to think of something all witty and clever to reply with, but I am so gosh darn happy about my big sis returning that well, ... these poor little neurons just can't work for me at the moment.

Mayhap I shall try again later.

OH and...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (That was a squeal of excitement b/c that is what LL and her ass do for me!)

Well put Jade!
LL, you describe THAT as pretty average, nothing special?!! My ASS!
I am far too sexually bothered to answer your damn questions now!

 

[Silverlily]

Despite my better judgement...

1. What makes an ass sexy to me is...

seeing it in a pair of tight, button fly jeans or a snug pair of boxer-briefs.

2. The best scene in a movie involving a naked ass belongs to...

got me on that one, but I really like the CK ads with Marcus Shenkenberg, whoops, wrong side.

3. What I like most about my ass is...

the way it looks in a g-string while I'm bent over a table.

4. What I like least about my ass is...

it's six time zones from where it should be.

5. How important is it that your mate possess a nice ass?:
A) Very important--I wanna be able to bounce PAPER money offa it!
B) Somewhat important--I need to be able to look at it without thinking "Ya know...I really should have more dairy in my diet."
C) Not that important--Hey...as long as they've at least got one...yay!

Absolutely A

6. When I cup my ass in my hands (as I so often do), I would say that my hands cover ___% of my total square ass-age.

about 75%

7. If I were given a gift certificate good for one free ass transplant with the donor of my choice (famous or non-famous), I would love to trade asses with...

I would pass, I kind of like mine.

8. If one day my ass were able to talk like Jim Carrey's ass does, the first thing it would say is...

Nothing, it would be immediately silenced.

9. I have kissed Laurel's cute, little Nazi ass _0__ times.

 

[Strange Girl]

Lovely Latina,

I wanna know how you managed to get that picture of my ass, and please quit using it.

 

[Lasher]

Guess it's my turn to make an Ass outta myself...

My greatest fear in seeing this thread was that everyone else was gonna start posting pictures of their asses along with their responses! (God, please don't let anyone get any ideas from that!!)... Fortunately, everyone's already seen My Hairy Ass ( http://www.posi.net/personal/hairyass/ ), so you don't have to worry about me doing that now...

Anyways... On to the Lovely Latina ASSinine Ass Quiz

1. What makes an ass sexy to me is...

Well, it's tough to put the actual look into words... It's one of those things where I know it if I see it, but I'll be damned if I can tell ya what it is... The one thing I do know is that, when I see it, I can't help but want to take a bite out of it...

2. The best scene in a movie involving a naked ass belongs to...

Ummmm... There's a scene in "Edward Penishands" where he (Edward Penishands, of course) is fucking this one chick from behind with his cock, and these other two chicks are on either side of her (and also on their hands and knees, so you get this nice 3 ass shot going... great cinematography, btw) and he's doing them with his, well, penishands... I've always been impressed by that.

3. What I like most about my ass is...

It makes a nice cushion?? I dunno, I might have to come back to this one.

4. What I like least about my ass is..

That every woman I have ever dated has told me I have no ass... And then they tell me it's cute.

5. How important is it that your mate possess a nice ass?:
A) Very important--I wanna be able to bounce PAPER money offa it!
B) Somewhat important--I need to be able to look at it without thinking "Ya know...I really should have more dairy in my diet."
C) Not that important--Hey...as long as they've at least got one...yay!

B) The ass isn't the most important part of the package, but a really nice ass can make all the difference...

6. When I cup my ass in my hands (as I so often do), I would say that my hands cover ___% of my total square ass-age.

I keep getting this image of Literoticans all over the world standing up from their computer chairs (many for the first time today, LOL!) and grabbing their asses so they can answer this... I'm not gonna!!! I'm telling ya, I'M NOT GONNA DO IT!!

*stands from chair* (I can't fucking BELIEVE I'm doing this!)

I dunno, I'm guessing 65%... *shrugs*

7. If I were given a gift certificate good for one free ass transplant with the donor of my choice (famous or non-famous), I would love to trade asses with...

Great, now I've got visions of men's naked asses running thru my head... Ok, Ok... Patrick Swayze's ass from "Roadhouse".

8. If one day my ass were able to talk like Jim Carrey's ass does, the first thing it would say is.

"What the fuck are you looking at?? Haven't ya ever seen a talking ass before??"

9. I have kissed Laurel's cute, little Nazi ass __ times.

Does my joke about going into Poland count?? No?? Ok, 0 then.

I still don't have an answer for #3. Oh, well...

Btw, Little Miss Lovely Latina, I notice that you did not answer your own questions... Again! *AHEM*... Maybe you should, uhhh, rectumfy that at some point.

 

[Cheri]

Damn girl, I remember your post about those white string bikinis you slide into every morning, and now I'll know what goes inside...yum!

1. What makes an ass sexy to me is...
It's cup-ability

2. The best scene in a movie involving a naked ass belongs to...
Kevin Costner's in Bull Durham

3. What I like most about my ass is...
It's roundness, without approaching Jennifer Lopez proportions, and the fact that it looks damn good in thong

4. What I like least about my ass is...
It's southward migration

5. How important is it that your mate possess a nice ass?:
B) Somewhat important--I need to be able to look at it without thinking "Ya know...I really should have more dairy in my diet."

6. When I cup my ass in my hands (as I so often do), I would say that my hands cover _85__% of my total square ass-age.

7. If I were given a gift certificate good for one free ass transplant with the donor of my choice (famous or non-famous), I would love to trade asses with...
Rene Russo

8. If one day my ass were able to talk like Jim Carrey's ass does, the first thing it would say is...
"I can't help it, you try fighting gravity every day of your life!"

9. I have kissed Laurel's cute, little Nazi ass _0__ times.
Haven't had the pleasure...as of yet

 

[Laurel]

1. What makes an ass sexy to me is...

...what's attached to it.

2. The best scene in a movie involving a naked ass belongs to...

Ooh, tough one...I'll have to think about it.

3. What I like most about my ass is...

It's small.

4. What I like least about my ass is...

It's a girl's butt, not a woman's butt - could be more...out there, if you know what I mean.

5. How important is it that your mate possess a nice ass?

C) Not that important--Hey...as long as they've at least got one...yay!

6. When I cup my ass in my hands (as I so often do), I would say that my hands cover ___% of my total square ass-age.

80-90%

7. If I were given a gift certificate good for one free ass transplant with the donor of my choice (famous or non-famous), I would love to trade asses with...

Bill Gates (so long as the cash comes with the ass).

8. If one day my ass were able to talk like Jim Carrey's ass does, the first thing it would say is...

"Where the hell did Latina get these questions?"

9. I have kissed Laurel's cute, little Nazi ass ___ times.

Countless.

Though I will say this...There was much ado about my ass being kissed incessantly, yet no one on this thread has kissed my ass even once! What's up with that?

 

[Bobtoad777]

Laurel,

If you really want someone to, send me a plane ticket and i will come and place what ever kind of kiss where ever on your ass you want then fly back home, unless of course you end up liking t but thats another story in and of itself.

 

[scylis]

*kisses Laurel's cute little ass*
there..
that's one..

a bit different from me gf's glutious maximus, as her's is big and jiggly.. sorta like Nicole's here: http://www.euronet.nl/users/w_solarz/girlanim.gif