Freya
gmilf
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2002
- Posts
- 42,367
1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
5. You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is
one meter above the ground.
8. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
10. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with
only 8 buttons.
11. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
12. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2
pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
13. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
14. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
15. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
16. You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
17. You head south to go to your cottage.
18. You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't
prowl on your deck.
19. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
20. The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo; it's sausage making.
21. You find -40C a little chilly.
22. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
23. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels.
24. You can play road hockey on skates.
25. You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
26. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
27. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
28. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada"
AND-
1. You know all the words to "If I had a million dollars" by The Barenaked
Ladies, including the inter-stanza banter between Steven and Ed.
2. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."
3. You hum David Foster's '88 Calgary Olympics theme in the shower.
4. You make up patriotic lyrics to go along with David Foster's '88
Calgary Olympics theme.
5. You remember when Alanis Morrissette was "Too Hot To Hold".
6. You think it's normal to have a grain elevator in your backyard.
7. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin, as you can only use more change.
8. You watch MuchMusic constantly, in the hopes of occasional fleeting
glimpses of The Tragically Hip.
9. You can sing "O' Canada" in French and actually know what the words mean!!
10. You think there isn't enough Queen on our currency.
11. You participate in Participaction!
12. You think Peter Mansbridge is sexy.
13. You think Lloyd Robertson is sexy.
14. You think Peter Kent is sexy.
15. You think Matt Damon is so-so.
16. You stood in line for hours for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.
17. You killed your best friend for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.
18. Your graduation formal dress was made of flannel.
19. Your backpack has more than one Canadian flag iron-on.
20. You have been on Speaker's Corner. Bonus points if they edited out
your carefully prepared rant against the Harris government.
21. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the
missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
22. You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar
added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
23. You still haven't taken down your "NON" posters from the 95 Referendum.
24. You can do the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's
"Skin-a-marinki-dinki-do".
25. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
26. You actually watch The Gemini Awards, The Genie Awards, and The Juno
Awards. You wonder why Stompin' Tom doesn't get his own category in all three. You scream passionately at the television when your favourite Canadian
performers are overlooked by their respective academies.
27. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
28. You think -10 C is mild weather.
29. You have twins named Donovan and Bailey.
30. You have twins named Wayne and Gretzky (alternately Gordie and Howe).
31. You know the ingredients for poutine.
32. You automatically read 'Z' as 'Zed' and don't give a damn that it
doesn't rhyme with "now I know my abcs".
33. You substitute beer for water when cooking.
34. You carry empty beer cans from your camping trips home with you in
your backpack so you can recycle them when you reach civilization.
35. You prefer Elvis Stojko when he has 'hockey hair' - a.k.a. 'the
mullet' or 'the shorty-longback'.
36. You know who the littlest hobo is.
37. You are moved to tears by those Bell Canada phone commercials they
show around Remembrance Day, where the grandson calls his grandad from Dieppe. You understand the manipulative nature of the advertisement, but
continue to be moved, nontheless.
38. You stay up until midnight (the end of some television station
broadcasting hours) to hear the Canadian national anthem.
39. You get up at 5:00 am (the begining of broadcasting hours) to hear the
Canadian national anthem.
40. You spit angrily when Americans say "ruff" instead of the correct "roof".
41. You have daydreams that film-maker Don McKellar, and Hugh Dillon from
The Headstones, skinned and ate Regis and Kathie Lee.
42. You refuse to consume chocolate that doesn't come in either Smarties,
Coffee Crisp, or Laura Secord format.
43. You die a little inside if you can't get your Tims double-double.
44. You know the difference between real snow and "television" snow -- the
white stuff that passes for snow on tv and in films. You scream, "For Christsake! That should be sticking to their pants!" and "Lookit, it's not melting! That's *so*
not snow!" when watching 'Winter' scenes.
45. Someone accidently stepped on your foot. You apologize.
46. You stepped on someone's foot. You apologize, then apologize for
making them apologize.
47. You know Casey and Finnegan are NOT a Celtic rock band or imported beer
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
5. You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is
one meter above the ground.
8. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
10. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with
only 8 buttons.
11. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
12. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2
pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
13. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
14. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
15. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
16. You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
17. You head south to go to your cottage.
18. You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't
prowl on your deck.
19. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
20. The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo; it's sausage making.
21. You find -40C a little chilly.
22. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
23. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels.
24. You can play road hockey on skates.
25. You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
26. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
27. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
28. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada"
AND-
1. You know all the words to "If I had a million dollars" by The Barenaked
Ladies, including the inter-stanza banter between Steven and Ed.
2. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."
3. You hum David Foster's '88 Calgary Olympics theme in the shower.
4. You make up patriotic lyrics to go along with David Foster's '88
Calgary Olympics theme.
5. You remember when Alanis Morrissette was "Too Hot To Hold".
6. You think it's normal to have a grain elevator in your backyard.
7. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin, as you can only use more change.
8. You watch MuchMusic constantly, in the hopes of occasional fleeting
glimpses of The Tragically Hip.
9. You can sing "O' Canada" in French and actually know what the words mean!!
10. You think there isn't enough Queen on our currency.
11. You participate in Participaction!
12. You think Peter Mansbridge is sexy.
13. You think Lloyd Robertson is sexy.
14. You think Peter Kent is sexy.
15. You think Matt Damon is so-so.
16. You stood in line for hours for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.
17. You killed your best friend for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.
18. Your graduation formal dress was made of flannel.
19. Your backpack has more than one Canadian flag iron-on.
20. You have been on Speaker's Corner. Bonus points if they edited out
your carefully prepared rant against the Harris government.
21. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the
missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
22. You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar
added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
23. You still haven't taken down your "NON" posters from the 95 Referendum.
24. You can do the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's
"Skin-a-marinki-dinki-do".
25. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
26. You actually watch The Gemini Awards, The Genie Awards, and The Juno
Awards. You wonder why Stompin' Tom doesn't get his own category in all three. You scream passionately at the television when your favourite Canadian
performers are overlooked by their respective academies.
27. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
28. You think -10 C is mild weather.
29. You have twins named Donovan and Bailey.
30. You have twins named Wayne and Gretzky (alternately Gordie and Howe).
31. You know the ingredients for poutine.
32. You automatically read 'Z' as 'Zed' and don't give a damn that it
doesn't rhyme with "now I know my abcs".
33. You substitute beer for water when cooking.
34. You carry empty beer cans from your camping trips home with you in
your backpack so you can recycle them when you reach civilization.
35. You prefer Elvis Stojko when he has 'hockey hair' - a.k.a. 'the
mullet' or 'the shorty-longback'.
36. You know who the littlest hobo is.
37. You are moved to tears by those Bell Canada phone commercials they
show around Remembrance Day, where the grandson calls his grandad from Dieppe. You understand the manipulative nature of the advertisement, but
continue to be moved, nontheless.
38. You stay up until midnight (the end of some television station
broadcasting hours) to hear the Canadian national anthem.
39. You get up at 5:00 am (the begining of broadcasting hours) to hear the
Canadian national anthem.
40. You spit angrily when Americans say "ruff" instead of the correct "roof".
41. You have daydreams that film-maker Don McKellar, and Hugh Dillon from
The Headstones, skinned and ate Regis and Kathie Lee.
42. You refuse to consume chocolate that doesn't come in either Smarties,
Coffee Crisp, or Laura Secord format.
43. You die a little inside if you can't get your Tims double-double.
44. You know the difference between real snow and "television" snow -- the
white stuff that passes for snow on tv and in films. You scream, "For Christsake! That should be sticking to their pants!" and "Lookit, it's not melting! That's *so*
not snow!" when watching 'Winter' scenes.
45. Someone accidently stepped on your foot. You apologize.
46. You stepped on someone's foot. You apologize, then apologize for
making them apologize.
47. You know Casey and Finnegan are NOT a Celtic rock band or imported beer
