You know you're a real writer of smut when...

[TheLobster]

...you catch yourself thinking, "Thank god! It's only this one last threesome, and I'm finally done!"

Or at least that's what I've had happen to me recently, and I found it rather amusing.

What are some other states of mind that you find yourself in, which wouldn't happen if you weren't a purveyor of literary porn, and probably sound odd or hilarious when taken out of this context?

 

[mrs_mackenzie]

Searching the thesaurus for synonyms for 'wet pussy'...

 

[lovecraft68]

When you hear an ad about treating mom on Mother's Day and it has a very different meaning.

I always wonder if actual porn stars have thoughts similar to your post. "Okay, just have to suck this one more dick until he paints my face and act like its the best thing ever, and I'm done here."

 

[StillStunned]

When you hear an ad about treating mom on Mother's Day and it has a very different meaning.

I always wonder if actual porn stars have thoughts similar to your post. "Okay, just have to suck this one more dick until he paints my face and act like its the best thing ever, and I'm done here."

That's true of anything that becomes routine. Back in the early days of my self-employed career, I couldn't wait to bill clients for my work. Now, no matter how much I enjoy getting paid, it's one of those "crap, it's the end of the month" jobs.

 

[AchtungNight]

How much more talking and foreplay must I do to get these characters into each other? How much more to put aside their angst and get them shagging? Hey, bad guy, why don’t you grope that girl and get her friends united with her to beat the heck out of you?

Rendezvous 5.

 

[TheLobster]

Searching the thesaurus for synonyms for 'wet pussy'...

This reminds me my cat could use a bath.

 

[NoTalentHack]

A beginning smut writer thinks, “Can I make a suggestive pun out of this?” A journeyman one knows, “Yes, but I shouldn’t. It’s unbecoming.” A veteran says, “LOL, unbecumming.”

 

[SimonDoom]

. . . when I got the first comment from a reader telling me I had made them come.

 

[StillStunned]

. . . when I got the first comment from a reader telling me I had made them come.

"If you write it, they will come."

 

[NoTalentHack]

When you hear an ad about treating mom on Mother's Day and it has a very different meaning.

I always wonder if actual porn stars have thoughts similar to your post. "Okay, just have to suck this one more dick until he paints my face and act like its the best thing ever, and I'm done here."

They do! There are a couple of funny clips from documentaries where various ones, make and female, have talked about it. The one that stuck with me was something like. “It’s like going a modeling job, where you’re cold, tired, hungry, and need to pee, but you’re on the clock so you just deal. And then, on top of that, you’re also chafing, and sore, probably bored, and the guy is having to keep it up and… Ugh.”

 

[lovecraft68]

That's true of anything that becomes routine. Back in the early days of my self-employed career, I couldn't wait to bill clients for my work. Now, no matter how much I enjoy getting paid, it's one of those "crap, it's the end of the month" jobs.

I started collecting comics in the late 70's and still do, loved everything about them, always wanted to run a store-as does almost every big comic fan at some point) back in 2002 my wife and I gave it a shot. We were open until end of 2008 and between the recession and various issues, we closed. But during that time, especially the end, I found I was losing that love for the books because I'd seen the business side, the invoices, the money, the way they over charged, the way they screwed dealers etc...and once we shut down I swore off mainstream comics and to this day only buy a few indy horror comics and stick to just collecting anything horror from the 70's down.

When you take anything and involve money, it can really sour you.

Even with publishing smut for sale, I've seen people lose their desire to write because they're obsessed with sales, and only writing what sells. I've been selling a long time, but its not the main source of income, it just goes into the slush fund to take a trip or buy something reckless that I don't need. I still sell comics too, but on an e-bay store and from my house with no overhead or hassles.

 

[lovecraft68]

. . . when I got the first comment from a reader telling me I had made them come.

Those can be good and bad. A woman saying she got off to a story is hot, but the one I got from a guy saying "Your story coaxed two loads out of these 75 year old balls was like, "TMI! TMI!"

 

[OverconfidentSarcasm]

I always wonder if actual porn stars have thoughts similar to your post. "Okay, just have to suck this one more dick until he paints my face and act like its the best thing ever, and I'm done here."

I asked one! And the answer is, yes, they do.

 

[Priscilla_June]

Actively paranoid with patterns you begin to see with how you write sex and wondering if every story you have written is the same

 

[lovecraft68]

I asked one! And the answer is, yes, they do.

Good on you for finding an honest one. Many perpetuate the "Its so hot I come during every scene."

 

[lovecraft68]

Actively paranoid with patterns you begin to see with how you write sex and wondering if every story you have written is the same

I feel like that sometimes, and in the end (no, not that type of sex scene) I just go with the fact that at this point I've most likely written 600+ sex scenes throughout my catalog here and for sale, and there are only so many, positions, acts, words, etc...

 

[Kasumi_Lee]

You're proofreading or rereading one of your own stories and you find that you've only got one hand on the keyboard. The other has disappeared inside your panties and you'd much rather just enjoy your own writing.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

I feel like that sometimes, and in the end (no, not that type of sex scene) I just go with the fact that at this point I've most likely written 600+ sex scenes throughout my catalog here and for sale, and there are only so many, positions, acts, words, etc...

This is why I don't worry about trying to be innovative, at least on that front. They may be fake humans, but they're still humans. I've read scenes before that only seem possible if PlasticMan and Elastigirl were having an affair.

 

[NoTalentHack]

This is why I don't worry about trying to be innovative, at least on that front. They may be fake humans, but they're still humans. I've read scenes before that only seem possible if PlasticMan and Elastigirl were having an affair.

Mr. Fantastic has entered the... chat.

 

[intim8]

...you catch yourself thinking, "Thank god! It's only this one last threesome, and I'm finally done!"

Similar to yours, for a while now, I'd be racing along doing the back story and buildup, then I get to the sex scene, and I start losing interest, already thinking about the next scenes and where the story is going.

And also, I've started fleshing out story ideas, and have to remind myself that there should be sex scenes.

and the guy is having to keep it up

My Aces character Brian is going to have scenes where he thinks something along the lines of, OK, just need to knock up one more hot college girl to make my quota this week.

there are only so many, positions, acts, words, etc..

I've only got 16 stories up, and I'm already thinking about that. (Though I have probably 5 times that amount in WIP, on hold, false starts, abandoned, etc).

but...

This is why I don't worry about trying to be innovative, at least on that front. They may be fake humans, but they're still humans.

Yeah, there's only so man ways to get tab A into slots B,C,D, E and F. But there's infinite ways for two or more actual people to get to that point and then to experience it.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

Similar to yours, for a while now, I'd be racing along doing the back story and buildup, then I get to the sex scene, and I start losing interest, already thinking about the next scenes and where the story is going.

And also, I've started fleshing out story ideas, and have to remind myself that there should be sex scenes.


My Aces character Brian is going to have scenes where he thinks something along the lines of, OK, just need to knock up one more hot college girl to make my quota this week.


I've only got 16 stories up, and I'm already thinking about that. (Though I have probably 5 times that amount in WIP, on hold, false starts, abandoned, etc).

but...


Yeah, there's only so man ways to get tab A into slots B,C,D, E and F. But there's infinite ways for two or more actual people to get to that point and then to experience it.

Exactly. Sometimes what makes the sex interesting is more the how and where, than the what. Bending her over while she's messing with the dishwasher or laundry is still doggystyle, but now those exclamations of ecstasy are reverberating off appliance walls, than in open bedroom air, or muffled in a pillow.

 

[Cagivagurl]

Searching the thesaurus for synonyms for 'wet pussy'...

Why would you want a synonym for it????
A wet pussy is.... Well... A wet pussy....
Euphoria...

Cagivagurl

 

[Cagivagurl]

...you catch yourself thinking, "Thank god! It's only this one last threesome, and I'm finally done!"

Or at least that's what I've had happen to me recently, and I found it rather amusing.

What are some other states of mind that you find yourself in, which wouldn't happen if you weren't a purveyor of literary porn, and probably sound odd or hilarious when taken out of this context?

I like to think it's more erotic romance than porn or smut....

Cagivagurl

 

[Rob_Royale]

When, this evening, my wife starts a conversation with, "So Valerie and I had an interesting experience today." And suddenly my brain clicks into writing mode and I'm wondering who kissed who, first.

 

[Djmac1031]

. . . when I got the first comment from a reader telling me I had made them come.

Yeah. Those comments are somehow flattering yet uncomfortable, like, "um, okay, thanks, but TMI."

Still, for many of our stories, getting someone off is the whole point so... affirmation.