You are NOT Edgar Allen Poet

[BooMerengue]

I know I'm not and I couldn't help but laugh when I received an anonymous feedback telling me

"... to get over myself and quit trying to be Edgar Allan Poet and stop being morbid. You are a better poet when you write happy words."

I just mentioned to WSO last night that I am somewhat hesitant sometimes to talk about things in this forum. But just so anonymous knows, here goes...
(btw- you must be reading me so thank you in advance)

My brother just younger than me- there are 7 of us- killed himself sometime in the wee hours between Sun and Mon this week. He was a very lonely man with a traumatic life and he chose an anonymous death. I am so deeply saddened by this that it's hard for me to speak of it. But I have attempted to write of it in The November Poem Challenge.

This is a stupid thing to say because I just can't believe my work is offensive, but if I have offended anyone then I am sorry. But not really. I just write what I feel- we all do. So that apology rings empty. But it's there for whoever needs it. And here's a big Fuck you, too. So now you can feel justified for your rudeness.

 

[Du Lac]

Boo

First and formost, my dearest heartfelt condolences on the passing of your brother. Suicide is a mystery for those left behind. I also had a younger brother who passed in this fashion. I have learned that regardless of time and those who lend a compassionate shoulder we all must grieve the loss in our own fashion.
I am always here for you if you need to PM etc.

Secondly, this person who left a comment was unrealistic. If they truley understood living life and the creative process they would understand that life is not all cherries and roses. Though we do not enjoy it, we must comprehend that suffering is essential in life in order to fully embrace the joyful moments. Here is the challenge, to openly write about it and grow. Hence, I say write dark, light, mystical, boring ... all of it. Write life and ignore those who are ignorant of living passionately.

blessings
Du Lac~

 

[flyguy69]

I'm terribly sorry, Boo.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[wildsweetone]

oh god woman, i had no idea it was so very recent!!!

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b126/wildsweetone/bearhug.gif



as for the comment, in my opinion many comments are made in ignorance of all facts. it might be that person simply did not understand all that your words entailed, put the comment aside sweet woman, it is meaningless in the context of your life.

 

[Angeline]

I know I'm not and I couldn't help but laugh when I received an anonymous feedback telling me

"... to get over myself and quit trying to be Edgar Allan Poet and stop being morbid. You are a better poet when you write happy words."

I just mentioned to WSO last night that I am somewhat hesitant sometimes to talk about things in this forum. But just so anonymous knows, here goes...
(btw- you must be reading me so thank you in advance)

My brother just younger than me- there are 7 of us- killed himself sometime in the wee hours between Sun and Mon this week. He was a very lonely man with a traumatic life and he chose an anonymous death. I am so deeply saddened by this that it's hard for me to speak of it. But I have attempted to write of it in The November Poem Challenge.

This is a stupid thing to say because I just can't believe my work is offensive, but if I have offended anyone then I am sorry. But not really. I just write what I feel- we all do. So that apology rings empty. But it's there for whoever needs it. And here's a big Fuck you, too. So now you can feel justified for your rudeness.

I am so very sorry, B, and hope you know my heart is with you. I understand, and you know why. There is nothing to say other than that, and that you know that only the passing of time makes such a terrible shock easier to bear. And time passes--often not fast enough--but you take it day by day.

I have told you this before, but it bears repeating: please don't worry or feel hurt by people's expectations about how you "should" write. You know what works for you, just let your feelings out, whatever they are. If you write something because you are frightened or in pain--I often do--and realize at some point you want to make it into something else or edit it, you will. Writing is always good whether what the writer produces is happy, sad or good in someone else's purview.

Many people expect me to write form poems that express natural beauty. I like to write them, but that's not all of Angeline--nowhere near it. I write what I am moved to write in whatever way for whatever reason, and I don't sweat that some people think it's not what I do best. That doesn't mean I don't want to learn--on the contrary, writing something outside the lines of expectation is good, it's growth.

Just write sweetie. Whatever gets you through the night, you know?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

 

[WickedEve]

Sorry about your brother, boo. I'm an only child, so I can't imagine what it's like to have a sibling or lose one. I can only compare it the lost of grandparents--the only people really close to me who have passed away. And I was involved in the final days of my uncle. I wrote many poems about him. It did help. So you should write and write and write. And I hope it gives you just a little comfort.

 

[Guest]

 

[BooMerengue]

oh thank you so much, you guys. and those of you who sent pm's too. I probably won't respond soon, so please understand. It's too much right now. I want to show someone this though. He went to NYC deliberately. He wants his unclaimed body to be buried in Potters Field . I of course voted towards honoring his wishes. I think thats important. So today a letter went to the Medical Examiner saying we would not be sending someone after him. Goddd!! Thats so fucking cold. He will not even be a number there, and no visitors allowed. So theres that to deal with...

And this, a part of his letter to us...

"On the negative side, I killed myself when I was only 54. On the positive, I made my first attempt when I was only 12 years old, so I made it for another 47 years."

I can deal with my pain, but I cannot comprehend his.

Thanks for letting me share this. Its not easy for me to do.

Love y'all,
Beth

 

[bluerains]

so sorry Bo...

oh thank you so much, you guys. and those of you who sent pm's too. I probably won't respond soon, so please understand. It's too much right now. I want to show someone this though. He went to NYC deliberately. He wants his unclaimed body to be buried in Potters Field . I of course voted towards honoring his wishes. I think thats important. So today a letter went to the Medical Examiner saying we would not be sending someone after him. Goddd!! Thats so fucking cold. He will not even be a number there, and no visitors allowed. So theres that to deal with...

And this, a part of his letter to us...

"On the negative side, I killed myself when I was only 54. On the positive, I made my first attempt when I was only 12 years old, so I made it for another 47 years."

I can deal with my pain, but I cannot comprehend his.

Thanks for letting me share this. Its not easy for me to do.

Love y'all,
Beth

being an only child myself ..I really want to relate..the closest to me a twin friend
growing up we shared the bus together every day in a small town...went to teen town together and was on a tv dance show once..we came in second place...sat togeter at lunch and shared our coke with peanuts in it...we loved that...he shot himself ..brains thru the ceiling because of his abusive wife...I have still fill the loss ...it must be so much harder losing a family member in such a way...blessings to you dear...luv/Lynn

 

[Rybka]

Hey Gal!!

You know how I feel about you and your poetry!

My favorite All-Time poem on Literotica is yours. If you can ever find as fine words for your brother he will be very well served!

Flippy
by BooMerengue

You fell out when the book opened
Well not you silly!
I had forgotten you were here!

One fish! Two fish!
Red fish! Blue fish!
I hear your giggle near my ear.

Let me count your freckles again!
Mommy won't care!
green marker dots...52, 53, 54!

So you have a note? An invite
to an overnight? Can I go? No!?!
It's just boys??

And you have money, too,
In your pocket; 27 cents- wow!
A lot of gum!

And then a scream of brakes, a thud.
That's all. Not much. So fast.

And you've been hiding here ever since.
In my book. 28 years.
Still giggling near my ear.

I haven't really forgotten, you know.

 

[Rybka]

Ps:

As of now there is no "Edgar Allen Poet" registered on Literotica. - Why don't you go claim it? Then you can tell that @sshole that, Yes you are!

 

[champagne1982]

You may not be Edgar Allen poet, dear one. You are much more than that. I still think that you should find a consolation in the real purpose of Potter's Field. Remember, it's a working man's rest your brother goes to. He will be in good company.

Have a memorial, even if it is only in your heart, and move through your sorrow with what small assurance that knowing he is resting where he wants to brings.

 

[wildsweetone]

As of now there is no "Edgar Allen Poet" registered on Literotica. - Why don't you go claim it? Then you can tell that @sshole that, Yes you are!

what's the feminine of Edgar? is there one?

how about Edwina? *shudder*

 

[twelveoone]

Boo,
I am very sorry to hear this.
My condolences.
Have strength, for yourself, for the rest of your familiy, you will.

 

[The_Fool]

We write what we are. Sad, Mad, Glad. No reader can take that away. No critic can change our thoughts. Our feelings. Life isn't about happy thoughts or sad thoughts, it's about living and dying. The writing just captures snapshots of our visions and wraps them in a package that we can share. Not always perfect. Nice. Or happy.

I love you Boo and I empathize with your sorrow.

 

[BooMerengue]

You may not be Edgar Allen poet, dear one. You are much more than that. I still think that you should find a consolation in the real purpose of Potter's Field. Remember, it's a working man's rest your brother goes to. He will be in good company.

Have a memorial, even if it is only in your heart, and move through your sorrow with what small assurance that knowing he is resting where he wants to brings.

I agree with you, Champ. I already have a poem in my head about sitting there on the beach with a cup of coffee (I'm not a coffee drinker but Flip was an addict), watching the waves, or looking the other way and seeing the NYC skyline, and his ghost, and the ghost's of others joining us in comfort and camaraderie. I see a bit of romance in it and I think he did, too.

Just FYI, did y'all know that 1/3 (of I think 8,000) bodies buried there each year are those of children? My daughter says her Uncle Flippy was the best damned bed time story teller ever! So I think he'll be right where he needs to be. But knowing the cold process of placing him there, and that I can never put a flower on his grave makes me sad. So sad.

 

[BooMerengue]

Thank you so much, all of you. You really have made my day brighter. This, too, shall pass, I know, and while I don't believe these things make us stronger, I do believe they make us wiser. And wisdom is a gift beyond price.​

...

 

[wildsweetone]

Boo, this might sound like utter rubbish to you, but i felt like sharing some small ideas, maybe something will be of use to you.

i have a part of my garden (wherever i happen to live) that grows a plant for a special person i lost in my life. there was no grave for them. there was a measure of consolation of having 'a place' for many years. it took me a while to realise that i carry them in my mind and in my heart so i no longer really needed a 'place'.

another thing that is special is to have a 'ceremony'. use a unique candle, say a dedicated piece of writing, pour pure rainwater over stones, burn incense, or simply spend some time thinking about your loved one and give yourself a chance to say goodbye in a meaningful way to you. here in NZ there are some celebrants who are known for doing things a little differently, you might not have a 'funeral' as such but maybe something unofficial could be set up.

it's not easy when there is no finality that a standard funeral can give us.

i am glad those children will have Flippy. it's very, very sad when children (and adults) can see no future. a good storyteller? they are in great hands then.

 

[RhymeFairy]

Oh Boo. I am so sorry.

I have been in the process of a lil move, so I am a lil late in seeing your post. Please forgive my tardiness ...

I have 2 brothers, they are both pains, but I would not trade anything on this Earth for them. I cannot imagine your pain ... My heart breaks for you and your family. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. If there is anything I can do to help, just let me know. You remember, I am just a lil skip away from you, I mean it lil lady. I am here if you need me .. K.

As for the Anonymous who wrote you ;

My only thoughts are when we are here writing off and on everyday, we do not * connect with * the life that is really happening all around us. We do not know what we each go through and what transpires in each life while NOT here signed in Lit.
So much changes for each of us, on a minute by minute basis, and sometimes ( I can imagine those who are online a lot) kinda get sucked into saying whatever it is they are thinking at that moment. Maybe not realizing, or even perhaps, even caring what effect it will have on others. Some are here to be rude and spew off steam, their anger, jealousy whatever it is that fuels them for .... That moment.
Boo, your writing is wonderful. I love it. No, I am not just saying that. I find everything I read somehow changes my thinking and that's what reading/writing is all about if you were to ask me.
So, write, be happy and do not worry what others think. It is a part of you, and what you want to share with us here. So who cares, as long as you feel * it * then that is what matters. Just my opinion ... I do love your writing and look forward to more !!!

Hugs you long and soft.
Sometimes,
we all need a hug ...


(((((((((((((( Boo ))))))))))))))))))



...

 

[Tzara]

Boo:

My condolences, as well.

 

[BooMerengue]

You know how I feel about you and your poetry!

My favorite All-Time poem on Literotica is yours. If you can ever find as fine words for your brother he will be very well served!

Awww, Sweetling! You sure know how to make a girl feel good!! Thank you!

 

[BooMerengue]

Boo, this might sound like utter rubbish to you, but i felt like sharing some small ideas, maybe something will be of use to you.

i have a part of my garden (wherever i happen to live) that grows a plant for a special person i lost in my life. there was no grave for them. there was a measure of consolation of having 'a place' for many years. it took me a while to realise that i carry them in my mind and in my heart so i no longer really needed a 'place'.

another thing that is special is to have a 'ceremony'. use a unique candle, say a dedicated piece of writing, pour pure rainwater over stones, burn incense, or simply spend some time thinking about your loved one and give yourself a chance to say goodbye in a meaningful way to you. here in NZ there are some celebrants who are known for doing things a little differently, you might not have a 'funeral' as such but maybe something unofficial could be set up.

it's not easy when there is no finality that a standard funeral can give us.

i am glad those children will have Flippy. it's very, very sad when children (and adults) can see no future. a good storyteller? they are in great hands then.

LOL WSO! You know me too well. I have practiced Wicca since I was a youngun, and it has served me well. Solitary- covens creep me out. I will do something like this. I was raised Catholic, and a lot of my belief springs from there, but Nature has always served me better than Nurture. Thank you for your thoughts, Kiddo!

 

[BooMerengue]

Thank you, everyone. This is kind of like sitting around after the funeral and reading all the cards sent. We didn't have a funeral, so this is a little extra nice for me.

But I guess it's time to move on. Lets all go write one today!

x's all of you!!!

 

[Guest]

I know I'm not and I couldn't help but laugh when I received an anonymous feedback telling me

"... to get over myself and quit trying to be Edgar Allan Poet and stop being morbid. You are a better poet when you write happy words."

I just mentioned to WSO last night that I am somewhat hesitant sometimes to talk about things in this forum. But just so anonymous knows, here goes...
(btw- you must be reading me so thank you in advance)

My brother just younger than me- there are 7 of us- killed himself sometime in the wee hours between Sun and Mon this week. He was a very lonely man with a traumatic life and he chose an anonymous death. I am so deeply saddened by this that it's hard for me to speak of it. But I have attempted to write of it in The November Poem Challenge.

This is a stupid thing to say because I just can't believe my work is offensive, but if I have offended anyone then I am sorry. But not really. I just write what I feel- we all do. So that apology rings empty. But it's there for whoever needs it. And here's a big Fuck you, too. So now you can feel justified for your rudeness.

Oh, what a trip or better yet, what an asshole this person is! I received an email not so long ago stating the same thing. Most people know my poetry is on the darker side because well, my life is just that. I have the worst of luck and it seems that everyone around me is dying lately or just feel dead. (if that makes sense.) I have to write, I have to write, I have to write! That's all there is to it!

At one point, I decided to never write on this forum again because of this reason or even submit my poetry anymore. Then I said fuck it when a few people wrote me out of concern, and said my words are just as important as anyone else's.

Just because this is an erotic site, that doesn't mean we can't or shouldn't write non-erotic poetry. That's what the darn space is for when we go to submit - is this erotic or non-erotic?

Anyway, my deepest sympathies, Boo. I am so sorry to hear this tragic news. There certainly is no reason to apologize to anyone. Write on!