You are masturbating when.....

[Jennitalia]

You know what sucks???
You are in bed....perfect quiet morning, it's relaxing so you put on some redtube and start getting worked up and right when you are getting close to cumming, your kid jumps onto your bed excited about going to the zoo, that you promised to take her today.
Yeah, such a pussyblocker....now I have swollen lips to walk around in. Love my kid tho. I'll suck it up....finish later, if my vagina forgives me.

 

[Jaime_H]

We all know the term "coitus interuptus"

What is a disturbed wank called?

 

[MSH2]

We all know the term "coitus interuptus"

What is a disturbed wank called?

usually? Fuckshitbollocks

 

[Jaime_H]

usually? Fuckshitbollocks

Followed by "Yes, I was just getting changed, honest...."

 

[Mrtenant]

You know what sucks???
You are in bed....perfect quiet morning, it's relaxing so you put on some redtube and start getting worked up and right when you are getting close to cumming, your kid jumps onto your bed excited about going to the zoo, that you promised to take her today.
Yeah, such a pussyblocker....now I have swollen lips to walk around in. Love my kid tho. I'll suck it up....finish later, if my vagina forgives me.

Just keep it primed and edge all day until tonite. Then go ravish your man, or yourself?

 

[DarkSimian]

You know what sucks???
You are in bed....perfect quiet morning, it's relaxing so you put on some redtube and start getting worked up and right when you are getting close to cumming, your kid jumps onto your bed excited about going to the zoo, that you promised to take her today.
Yeah, such a pussyblocker....now I have swollen lips to walk around in. Love my kid tho. I'll suck it up....finish later, if my vagina forgives me.

try living with someone that has no concept of privacy, that does not know what a closed door means. that has ears like a rabbit no matter how quiet you try to be.....oh, how I love being home again

 

[Jennitalia]

Followed by "Yes, I was just getting changed, honest...."

I'm walking around quishing my swollen lips trying to get ready kinda hurts! Being shaven doesn't help right now...oh, the chafing!!!!

I came out with a brilliant idea....blogging about parenthood, sex and daily bs about life, especially a woman in her 40s going thru horny menopause while dealing with an miserable, mean sick husband. Of course, adding my adventure to find that one male friend to play with. Too much?

 

[Jaime_H]

Sex and parenthood is a problem. A bit like trying to wank wearing boxing gloves.....
It's Gods way of saying "you've got kids, the fun is over..."

 

[EggoWaffle]

Sex and parenthood is a problem. A bit like trying to wank wearing boxing gloves.....
It's Gods way of saying "you've got kids, the fun is over..."

So fucking true.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I think it's a great idea. I like a few. I like the blog called Why Mommy Drinks. I also like Scary Mommy.

here is an excerpt:

Dear Paige and Isaac,

I know it seems like a lot to ask. That’s why I’m posing it as a question, rather than as a command and/or a bribe and prerequisite for a frozen yogurt popsicle, which is in fact what it is.

So I’ll say it again, nicely but firmly: Please eat just one fucking vegetable?
I realize that everything in your DNA and human evolution goes against eating vegetables. And I certainly don’t want to traumatize and disorder you for life by starting a war over food...

Which is why I need you to eat this organic baby carrot right now. Or maybe this leaf of spinach or piece of kale. We grew this kale. Remember?! And by “we,” I mean your dad. Let’s be honest, I had nothing to do with that shit.

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

I think it's a great idea. I like a few. I like the blog called Why Mommy Drinks. I also like Scary Mommy.

here is an excerpt:

Dear Paige and Isaac,

I know it seems like a lot to ask. That’s why I’m posing it as a question, rather than as a command and/or a bribe and prerequisite for a frozen yogurt popsicle, which is in fact what it is.

So I’ll say it again, nicely but firmly: Please eat just one fucking vegetable?
I realize that everything in your DNA and human evolution goes against eating vegetables. And I certainly don’t want to traumatize and disorder you for life by starting a war over food...

Which is why I need you to eat this organic baby carrot right now. Or maybe this leaf of spinach or piece of kale. We grew this kale. Remember?! And by “we,” I mean your dad. Let’s be honest, I had nothing to do with that shit.

Love it. Especially the part about blaming everything on dad. That's how it works in my household.

 

[papadoc19]

People watch redtube? You should really go with xhamster instead.

 

[OwlBear]

I'm walking around quishing my swollen lips trying to get ready kinda hurts! Being shaven doesn't help right now...oh, the chafing!!!!

I came out with a brilliant idea....blogging about parenthood, sex and daily bs about life, especially a woman in her 40s going thru horny menopause while dealing with an miserable, mean sick husband. Of course, adding my adventure to find that one male friend to play with. Too much?

If this excerpt about you "quishing your swollen lips together" as you get ready to visit the zoo is any indication of your subject matter, I do believe you would soon garner a large follower fan base to your blog-to-be....I love the intelligent, humorous and naughty way you write so I would be certain to follow your exploits! Keep spreading the sunshine, lovely lady...your day shall come! Besides....a little orgasm denial, be it kid or lover induced, can be good for the soul!