You absolute...

[EctoJohn]

You absolute storm cloud on the horizon.

 

[Unquoted]

You absolute fake mustache.

 

[_SallySparrow_]

You absolute cobweb

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute Comic Sans.

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute used tampon

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute fuzzy alligator.

 

[Unquoted]

You absolute lumpy mattress.

 

[Cwtchseeker]

You absolute lumpy mash

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute mess of wires and circuits.

 

[barefootgirl69]

You absolute cheeseburger

 

[Unquoted]

You absolute bruised ego.

 

[Cwtchseeker]

You absolute pickled egg

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute cheap hotdog on wheat bread.

 

[barefootgirl69]

You absolute doughnut

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute beetle flavored scone.

 

[Unquoted]

You absolute dishwater latte.

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute bothered Pooh Bear.

 

[Unquoted]

You absolute bear poo.

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute journal thief!

 

[Taegul]

You absolute sacrifice bunt.

 

[Trubbycat]

You absolute Pakled

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute pile of dead bugs on a window sill.

 

[Firefly_Dancer]

You absolute potato chip.

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute burnt French fry.
Wait, British-themed thread.

You absolute burnt chip!

 

[barefootgirl69]

You absolute hobby horse.