You absolute...

[ChloeOfCascadia]

You absolute dinglehopper.

Now the snarfblatt dates back to prehysterical times when humans used to sit around... and stare at each other all day.

Got very boring.

So they invented this snarfblatt to make fine music, allow me.

You absolute surprise!

 

[Rodlicker57]

You absolute brown shoes with a black tuxedo

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute romantic

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

You absolutely nailed it right on the head.

You absolute intellectual!

 

[EyesOnHers]

You absolute flannel

@ChloeOfCascadia I don't think your reply is a response to the above poster
@PotNoodle79 can confirm

And if it is I am very sorry

 

[PotNoodle79]

I neither confirm or deny anything, you absolute toss cake

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

You absolute flannel

@ChloeOfCascadia I don't think your reply is a response to the above poster
@PotNoodle79 can confirm

And if it is I am very sorry

I thought I did and I intended so. Which post number please? 1629 was absolutely a response to cheekygirl, deliberately so.

Oh, I see, the one to cocokitty. Yeah, it's not directly after. I had not reloaded the page, and just replied to the last person and quoted them, but I should have reloaded the page first.

My mistake. Not intended. I'm also a big fan of the Little Mermaid movie, so.

It was difficult to remember to refresh first. My mistake.

You absolute whistleblower! hehe

 

[EyesOnHers]

Okay, so that's how it is... this one is for you @PotNoodle79

You absolute painful broken toe

 

[PotNoodle79]

Okay, so that's how it is... this one is for you @PotNoodle79

You absolute painful broken toe

That's cruel, you absolute wanking sock

 

[EyesOnHers]

That's cruel, you absolute wanking sock

Yeah, that's fair

You absolute tricky staircase

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

"You absolute" + random word + the verb "to wank" in any conjugation + noun, in almost any order. You can also drop one of the five words, except, "you absolute".

This is how you make a British insult.

You absolute Zucchini-wanking hobgoblin!

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute powdered orange drink.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

You absolutely annoying squeaky floor

 

[PotNoodle79]

Yeah, that's fair

You absolute tricky staircase

You absolute Jeremy Kyle guest

 

[EyesOnHers]

You absolute Jeremy Kyle guest

Omg

 

[EyesOnHers]

You absolute Jeremy Kyle guest

You're just minty I made it onto Kyle while you only got to Trisha

You absolute split teabag

 

[PotNoodle79]

You're just minty I made it onto Kyle while you only got to Trisha

You absolute split teabag

Yeah but you still failed the lie detector test, you absolute marzipan dildo

 

[Abeona1]

You absolute star

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

You absolute star

How sweet!

How do we make this into a british insult....

You absolute starfish wank!

Gotta have the word wank in there somewhere.

 

[PotNoodle79]

You absolute chocolate starfish...

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

I feel mine still needs a little bit more je ne sais quoi.

BUT I wish to build upon PotNoodle's....

You absolute troglodyte titty-fucking chocolate starfish wanker!

Meaning, one who titty fucks troglodytes and wanks to pictures of anuses.

It's a super hardcore burn, let me tell you. All the brits are using it.

 

[EyesOnHers]

You absolute starfish wank!

Starfish wank is class!

You absolute proboscis monkey

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

Starfish wank is class!

You absolute proboscis monkey

You absolute proboscis monkey wanker!

The word "wank" is all I have, I'm a fraud.

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute dusty bookshelf.

 

[PotNoodle79]

You absolute beige Power Ranger