You absolute...

[Adrian81]

You absolute gremlin

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute ground beef so old it's turned pink again.

 

[Unquoted]

You absolute douche nozzle

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute mutant chicken.

 

[Firefly_Dancer]

You absolute renal failure.

Yes, a friend and I actually started using this as an insult in college.

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute uphill skier.

 

[F3x0r]

You absolute tedious wank

 

[snexxer]

You absolute pleb

 

[Adrian81]

You absolute ballache

 

[Taegul]

You absolute mosh pit stain.

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute Play-Doh monster.

 

[Cwtchseeker]

You absolute cockwomble

 

[barefootgirl69]

You absolute flat tire.

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute unwashed lettuce.

 

[shybutobscene]

You absolute muppet.

 

[Dvus_D]

You absolute toolbox.

 

[Unquoted]

You absolute gum infection

 

[Meekly_Anna]

You absolute parsnippet.

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute counter-clockwise doorknob.

 

[Adrian81]

You absolute goblin

 

[pinkparkhorse]

You absolute drainpipe

 

[Unquoted]

You absolute naked mole-rat

 

[barefootgirl69]

You absolute salt rock.

 

[MissSNG]

You absolute junk drawer

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute inside out socks.