Yet another question,

[SeaCat]

Yeah I know I'm full of them tonight.

What is kinky to you? From what I have read and heard kink can be anything under the sun from monogamous sex to scat to Exhibitionism to BDSM. So what is kink?

There are some things I just plain am not interested in, scat and BDSM are two of them. (I deal with enough shit in work to know I'm not turned on by it and I don't like pain, either inflicting or receiving it.) Kids don't do a thing for me, other than get me angered when I see they are being exploited. (Anger is not a good thing in me.) Emisis, (vomiting) as above I deal with it in work. Other than the sense of touch and the view of the female body there really isn't much that gets me excited. (Okay the printed word does it, so sue me.) What about you?

Cat

 

[entitled]

Submission! It has to be with/for somebody i KNOW i can trust wholeheartedly. If i can't trust them to bind me in some way and know they won't hurt me (BDSM isn't all about pain ) it's just not as enjoyable. Even if bondage doesn't play a part in the experience.

 

[Liar]

Submission! It has to be with/for somebody i KNOW i can trust wholeheartedly. If i can't trust them to bind me in some way and know they won't hurt me (BDSM isn't all about pain ) it's just not as enjoyable. Even if bondage doesn't play a part in the experience.

A buddy of mine expressed this view about BDSM:

Domination, or D/s, is interresting but the rest is just crap to me. Literally. If you take the D and S out of BDSM, you are left with nothing but a big BM.

 

[rgraham666]

With my lack of experience, everything is kinky to me.

 

[yui]

There are two different kinds of kinky to me: the kinky-I-would-love-to-do-that-kinky and the too-kinky-for-words-I-would-not-do-that-without-a-crack-habit-kinky.

So my kinks are kind of all twisted up.

 

[SeaCat]

There are two different kinds of kinky to me: the kinky-I-would-love-to-do-that-kinky and the too-kinky-for-words-I-would-not-do-that-without-a-crack-habit-kinky.

So my kinks are kind of all twisted up.

And?

Honestly though, what seperates the two?

Cat

 

[minsue]

Kinky is in the eye of the beholder. It's only kinky if it's not your kink.

Personally, I don't consider myself all that kinky. I've been told that I am, even more often of late for some reason , but I don't really think so. I'm pretty vanilla. It's the rest of y'all that are kinky.

 

[minsue]

A buddy of mine expressed this view about BDSM:

Domination, or D/s, is interresting but the rest is just crap to me. Literally. If you take the D and S out of BDSM, you are left with nothing but a big BM.

I thought the S was sadism not submission

 

[elsol]

Kinky is the sexual stuff that when people tell you about it... a part of you goes 'EWWW!' but you want to hear more.

If I just go 'EWWW!' without the curiousity then it's 'Not My Thang!'

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[yui]

what seperates the two?

Cat

The abyss.

I thought the S was sadism not submission

In "BDSM" it's bondage/discipline/sado/masochism (I think). In "D/s" it's Dominance/submission. My understanding is that BDSM involves pain/humiliation/bondage, but D/s is less about some of those aspects; however, I am not an expert.

 

[minsue]

In "BDSM" it's bondage/discipline/sado/masochism (I think). In "D/s" it's Dominance/submission.

That's what I thought. (with the same "not an expert" codicil, of course )

 

[cantdog]

I think the majority have the lock here, Cat. It's "kink" if it's not something you want personally.

As I write porn, okay, the two parts that really fascinate me are firstly, sexual awakening, which we don't get to exzplore here on lit because of the 18-year limit, and secondly, seduction itself. I like to write and think about the moment, the cusp, when ordinary sexual awareness tips over into a situation where a sexual scene is now going to happen.

What makes the potential into the reality? That's my real area of interest.

Kink only comes into play after that point. I used to attend strip shows, for example. Stripping is not really directly related to sex. Not for me. Most women, I note, do not bare the pussy unless they are planning to put it to use, but still, stripping is not the same as seduction.

But one time, I went to a strip club, and the girl wore what I can only call a diaper. A fairly voluminous cloth around the loins. She stripped to this cloth, not to a g-string, but to a diaper. I now believe it was a transgendered stripper.

After the show, the stripper came to my table. "She" sat down and spoke with me. I daresay my interest in "her" stood out from the rest of the crowd. It was a small club, man. I was practically the only person there who stayed in place after the show was over. I had made eye contact, I had been supportive, clapping between songs, for instance. Most people don't applaud the efforts of a stripper so much.

Anyway, she came to my table. Another fellow came over to speak to her, as well, and we all three sat together. She asked if I wanted to come along. She had a room in town, and she thought maybe I'd like to come there. The other guy was all about that. Oh yes, he said, you bet. It will be more fun with a third person, the stripper said. Want to come to my room with ____ (the third person)?

I was being offered a threesome, for real.

Now that's kink. A threesome with another guy and a tranny stripper.

 

[AppleBiter]

I don't think it's necessarily something you don't want personally. I'm into BDSM and I see it as a kink and us as a kinky couple. A kink, to me, is anything that isn't vanilla, PIV sex. Plain and simple. Some of it I wouldn't do and some I would do and have done.

 

[Ferawyn]

The abyss.


In "BDSM" it's bondage/discipline/sado/masochism (I think). In "D/s" it's Dominance/submission. My understanding is that BDSM involves pain/humiliation/bondage, but D/s is less about some of those aspects; however, I am not an expert.

IMHO, and I do hope I'm not treading on anyone's toes here, BDSM is about the physical giving and taking of submission, while D/s is much more about the mental and emotional giving and taking of submission.

That is not to say that BDSM is not very emotional or thought provoking, but in the end it is the physical restraints/pain/humiliation that is being inflicted that generates the emotions, whereas with D/s it is the emotional restraints/pain/humiliation that leads to physical action.

 

[Liar]

I thought the S was sadism not submission

Yep. 'was just a pun, hun. It have me a smile, at least.

But what he said ws basically that the restaint and pain part is not interresting without the staus part.

If you ask me, it's not interresting at all. Pain is the body's way of telling you that "Ok, that is a dumbass thing to do". Submission without physical restraints can be interresting though, if the right personality chemistry is there.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Applebiter, I agree with you, and when I look back- from the time I lost my virginity, I never had vanilla sex, at least- not in my head. Sure, I'd be doing the pleasant little missionary, but there was always something else going on, even if I didn't have the vocabulary to express it.

Okay, now- here's a side issue.

My sister- is absolutely vanilla. And has NO sex life at all, I say in exasperation. Her parameters are set so narrow that she can't find a boyfriend. It's driving me nuts, arr! In the utterly vanilla world, youth is the only beauty. And we are getting towards our mid-centuries.
Whereas, in the queer and kink world- I am proud to have known an 80-year-old Dom, who was one of the most treasured assets of the Chicago leather scene. She was an old hag to the outside world, but you wouldn't believe the hot youngsters who boast about training with her. Gay men, baby butches, hets. And I am NOT worried about finding sexual partners as I age, because the BDSM world (or, at least, enough of it) thinks that little bit differently.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

BDSM. I've been into it since before I knew what sex was. I used to get little hard-ons walking through hardware stores looking at the silvery chains. I used to love it when Lois Lane would get tied to a chair.

I'm not a sadist and I don't do anything with the intention of hurting anyone. Done right, BDSM is no more painful than sex. Anyone who thinks a whip is for hurting people doesn't know how to use a whip.

It's about the intimacy of trust and control, a ritualized expression of archetypal needs and behaviors. Love as rage, conquest as surrender. Done right it focuses your entire mind, body, and spirit on the loving interaction and achieves a level of intimacy and fulfillment that makes vanilla sex seem like high school petting.

Besides, girls look so good in nylons.