YEARNING for feedback...

[circe!]

Good feedback, bad feedback, constructive feedback, deeply Freudian analitical feedback! I invite all feedback, all reviews, all praise as well as critical comment.

The first 3 chapters of Hurrying Down the Dark Road are now available. Read me, pleeeeeeeze?

circe!

 

[TonyG]

Well, I am not usually attracted to mythological stories but I read your chapter 1 since you asked for a reply.

Once I got over my mythology hangup I started to enjoy the story. I did not like the male gods speaking in modern language (what do you want little girl) but I accepted it. I liked that the girl 'kept' in character with her language. I also was not sure, at first, which god was 'taking' the girl.

I liked the story enough to go back and read chapter two. It had my cock hard by the end of the chapter.

 

[Persephone]

I'll read...

...them.

 

[NakdSalr]

Circe, I'm new here, but not new to writing. I read the first chapter of your series, and since you ask for feedback, I hope you take this as constructive. Basically, I think you are a good writer and tell a good story, but if you want to grab your reader and keep him/her reading there are a few things that may help. I notice you switch voices. In first person, you couldn't know what Eros or Aries was thinking. Also you switch tense from present to past.
But the thing that would keep a reader from staying around long enough to enjoy the story, is it takes too long to get into the erotic view. This is after all erotic lit, and the reader is looking for that. Try painting a more exotic image of the girl in the first paragraph. Nipples under the white robe, curve of her hip, the wind forcing her robe against her showing her charms, or causing her excitement. You know — prepare your reader for the sex that is coming. After I got past the first four paragraphs, I enjoyed it. I hope my comments help.

[Edited by NakdSalr on 02-17-2001 at 01:35 PM]

 

[Xception]

Review

I'll be glad to review and vote on your work if you will do the same for me. Read, "Getting out of the house" under Loving Wives catagory. Thanks. I'm looking forward to your vote and comments.

 

[bluntforcemama]

WONDERFUL!

Love, it should be obvious that you're one of the best writers. Your stories are all over the Toplists. I, myself, thoroughly enjoyed them. They definitely rank in my top 5 stories of all time. You'll be getting all 5's from me. I read every chapter you've submitted so far, and I must say that my favorites are the heterosexual sex parts. I never was able to fully enjoy reading lesbian sex scenes, even though I tried. *Sigh* I think I'm in love with Ares now... but I always was fascinated my mythology. I wouldn't mind hearing a retelling (in your tongue) about Persephone and Hades.... or Cupid and Pysche.... I absolutely loved those stories, and I'll bet you can make them the steamiest. Good work, love, and do keep it up. If I were a man, I'd have a crush on you. -Myst

 

[circe!]

Myst, sweetheart...

You've made my day!

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm so glad that you are enjoying my story!

(I love the myth of Hades and Persephone also and it would be interesting to write it eroticly.)

 

[NCmVoyeur]

Her adoring fans

If I were a man, I'd have a crush on you./B]

And even then, you'd need to stand in line.

 

[circe!]

oh my!

I blush!!!

 

[Flatliner_68]

Great Stories!!!

I've read all the way through to Chapter 11 and I absolutely love them all!! Keep up the great work!!!