Xmas ideas for the ape who has everything.

[dolf]

Or should I just spend the money on myself instead? He's taken up painting tiny, ugly, war hammer models... I think that justifies spending his gift money on shoes.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

*chuckle*


Traditional dolf on the shelf.


Spreading the Yule-time holiday jeer...

 

[BotanyBoy]

http://images.memes.com/meme/615418
http://www.spacejokers.it/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/starship-troopers-1997-movie-01.png

 

[Lancecastor]

He's taken up painting tiny, ugly, war hammer models....

Sounds like a cardigan and pipe situation.

 

[about_average]

Or should I just spend the money on myself instead? He's taken up painting tiny, ugly, war hammer models... I think that justifies spending his gift money on shoes.

Some people make good money painting miniatures, if they are good at it and reasonably fast.

http://www.hobbyworld-usa.com/Store/1119-painting-stations

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a7/25/d8/a725d8319a642e3d2767757623c328c5.jpg

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

It would be different if they were nudes...

 

[Saint Peter]

Or should I just spend the money on myself instead? He's taken up painting tiny, ugly, war hammer models... I think that justifies spending his gift money on shoes.

Hi dolf!

Get him some supplies. A busy ape is a happy ape.

 

[warrior queen]

Every year I buy useful things, as well as a heart-gift (sewing machines for Bangladeshi women, goats for families in Africa, etc.)

This year I have been so disillusioned I decided on useless - and ended up naming a star for each person.

It's my tiny rebellious streak manifesting itself.

 

[Pookie]

I'd get him something like this to paint ...

https://www.coolminiornot.com/shop/media/catalog/product/c/m/cme0018_1.jpg

 

[hashtag4]

a heart-gift (goats for families in Africa, etc.)

 

[Saint Peter]

I'd get him something like this to paint ...

https://www.coolminiornot.com/shop/media/catalog/product/c/m/cme0018_1.jpg

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/10/29/1414609634519_wps_25_BROOKLYN_NEW_YORK_Can_you.jpg

 

[Lancecastor]

Some people make good money painting miniatures, if they are good at it and reasonably fast.

Is he Taiwanese? I think they paint Doulton figurines there now.

 

[Pookie]

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/10/29/1414609634519_wps_25_BROOKLYN_NEW_YORK_Can_you.jpg

Looks sorta mass-murdery. I like the way you think.

 

[Saint Peter]

Looks sorta mass-murdery. I like the way you think.

I keep them in the freezer.

 

[Pookie]

I keep them in the freezer.

Freezers use electricity that could be better utilized with vibrators.

 

[dolf]

one year I decided to donate the a homeless charity instead of buying presents. almost everyone was happy, except for two who thought they had an entitlement to a gift and therefore the donation took something from them.

fuckers.

watching him paint... maybe i'll buy him bananas.

 

[Lancecastor]

A friend of mine was this Japanese. He had a girlfriend in
Paris. He tried to date her in six months and eventually she
said yes. You know he took her to his apartment, cut off her
head. Put the rest of her body in the refrigerator, ate her
piece by piece. Put her in the refrigerator, put her in the
freezer. And when he ate her and took her bones to the Bois de
Boulogne

http://d38lmus20vhzyd.cloudfront.net/image.aspx/media/images/products/65505-onfig-FW15.jpg-1500x1500

 

[Saint Peter]

one year I decided to donate the a homeless charity instead of buying presents. almost everyone was happy, except for two who thought they had an entitlement to a gift and therefore the donation took something from them.

fuckers.

watching him paint... maybe i'll buy him bananas.

I like the donation idea. Who needs really more elf slippers?

 

[Pookie]

Never let him take you to his place on the first date. I always say. Him in your freezer is a much better way to end it.

 

[Saint Peter]

http://d38lmus20vhzyd.cloudfront.net/image.aspx/media/images/products/65505-onfig-FW15.jpg-1500x1500

Keeping them in the freezer is like keeping a fine painting on the wall. Eating them gives the rest of us a bad name.

 

[Saint Peter]

Never let him take you to his place on the first date. I always say. Him in your freezer is a much better way to end it.

And yet you wonder why I try to get you drunk.

 

[Lancecastor]

Poor people are such greedy fuckers.

Santa visits everyone in the world, but that's not good enough for the greedy selfish poor...noooo...they hire so-called "NFP's" to suck even more FREE shit from the non-poor.

Poor people are not to be trusted, especially at Christmas.

And they're probably Muslims.

 

[Pookie]

Keeping them in the freezer is like keeping a fine painting on the wall. Eating them gives the rest of us a bad name.

You end up hoarding that way. A house full of freezers can spook away what could've been a very romantic evening.

 

[dolf]

I don't mind the killing, the cooking or the eating. but gutting and butchering is a messy business... too sloppy for indoors but (it being December) it's far too cold to be working outside. also, he weighs a ton. all that pumping iron and swilling protein. hanging him isn't going to be an easy job. pity, because he's pretty meaty. I've told him many times that, come the zombie apocalypse or similar disaster scenario, i'm absolutely going to stay alive by cooking him.

 

[Lancecastor]

Keeping them in the freezer is like keeping a fine painting on the wall.

Oh...a walk-in freezer.

I'm totally downwitdat.