WTF?! You're 14! Let it go for a couple years, alright?

[O'Mac]

Sometimes I just have to wonder about the world that I live in.

In the past few weeks or so on other forums and boards I belong to, I've been messaged and e-mailed by girls as young as 14-years old, asking me about my experiences with the BDSM lifestyle and sexual relationships, as well as sharing their own experiences.

What the hell is going on with our children these days?

I'm not that old, and I still remember quite a bit of when I was 14. For me, I was far more interested in school league baseball, playing nintendo, and getting better grades in geography then, "wondering how I can persuade my straight friend into joining me in a threesome with my girlfriend".

You're 14-years old! Why not try worrying about that stuff when you're maybe a few years out of puberty, or at least knowledgable enough to figure out the consequences of your actions. I'm not against experimentation or sexual discovery, but I truly feel something is incredibly wrong with children having overt sexuality and peer pressure thrust upon them by the media and entertainment outlets. All this "sexual liberation" is good and all as a general concept, but in this case it only helps add to the growing problems of teen pregency, AIDS/HIV, and other sexually related diseases and disorders.

Am I just being a prude here or does anyone else agree?

 

[onceburned]

You're 14-years old! Why not try worrying about that stuff when you're maybe a few years out of puberty, or at least knowledgable enough to figure out the consequences of your actions.

It's an age old problem: kids exploring sex before their elders are comfortable with idea. I don't think there is anything unusual about an interest in BDSM at age 14 - certainly I would have jumped to serve a similar aged domme at that age.

At fourteen puberty is a distant memory, especially for girls. Teens are in adolescence at that point and hormones are raging.

Teens are sexually active. Its a fact. But what might be false is the contacts you are getting from underaged individuals. It may be simply a prank. At 14, and even at 24, the last thing I wanted to do is discuss sex with older folks.

I seem to recall a website by and for teens who were interested in BDSM. But I don't remember where I saw it or what the name was.

 

[LunarKitten]

It's an age old problem: kids exploring sex before their elders are comfortable with idea. I don't think there is anything unusual about an interest in BDSM at age 14 - certainly I would have jumped to serve a similar aged domme at that age.

At fourteen puberty is a distant memory, especially for girls. Teens are in adolescence at that point and hormones are raging.

Teens are sexually active. Its a fact. But what might be false is the contacts you are getting from underaged individuals. It may be simply a prank. At 14, and even at 24, the last thing I wanted to do is discuss sex with older folks.

I seem to recall a website by and for teens who were interested in BDSM. But I don't remember where I saw it or what the name was.

Sexually active at 14?! Ok, maybe it's because I have a 12 year old, but shouldn't kids that age be more worried about what to wear to the prom, or if they get picked for the team they try out for, or something else teenagey? They shouldn't be worried about getting pregnant or getting a disease that can kill you at that age. They should be worried about grades and if the kid a few seats down will ask them for their phone number.

I know kids will experiment. I know kids will have sex before they're ready - mine will probably get a box of condoms when she turns sixteen, or if she expresses any kind of interest before hand, but I don't think I'll be ready for it when she's 14. We are very open and let her know she can come to us with any questions she has about anything - and let her know she may not like our answers, brutally honest, anymore than we may like her questions. Hopefully, this will let her feel free to be herself and not fold under peer pressure to do things she isn't ready for yet. *crosses fingers and toes*

 

[Gibbons]

Sexually active at 14?!

It's really not that uncommon. You should definitely talk to your kids. On a related note, your kids probably know someone at school who sells drugs. They may not be buying, but they know where to get it.

 

[LunarKitten]

It's really not that uncommon. You should definitely talk to your kids. On a related note, your kids probably know someone at school who sells drugs. They may not be buying, but they know where to get it.

*turning the mommy panic button on full blast and considers home schooling and a chastity belt*



Ok, so that may be an over reaction.....but, but, but...she's my baby....and, it's no fair that she's growing up and stuff...and it sucks that kids have to grow up so fast these days....

OMG "these days"?! I'm turning into my mother!!!!! *runs and hides*

 

[Xelebes]

I am part of a forum where on average, I'm one of the older members. 14 years of age is a reasonable age to get curious about it - I first knew I was into anything remotely kinky at about age 16. It's not a far stretch to imagine some starting earlier in their exploration.

 

[O'Mac]

Unfortunately it wasn't a prank. I've talked to them for ages before just as friends online and their interest sprang up just as I was mentioning I had a new girlfriend. Despite my best efforts to keep things

The point is that I certainly don't consider myself an elder by any stretch to anyone. Hell, I still do a lot of the same stuff I did as a 14-year old, now. I just don't ever remember myself or anyone else I know being even near as sexually active as these girls are. I mean, I'm not talking about some little innocent tryst with a boyfriend or girlfriend, but some pretty heavy stuff like multiple partners and BDSM to an extreme I have yet to even contemplate for my relationship.

Personally, I don't agree with it. I think sexuality should be treated as a pretty serious thing, no matter what your preferences are. I don't feel that 14-year old really understand what they are getting into when they start experimenting that young. Where do we draw the line of social acceptability?

Sorry if all this sounds ranty. I truly cannot get my head around how little people consider their actions will affect their lives. The one that got to me was a question as to how one of them should pressure her friend into considering a lesbian relationship with her. She even took offense when I pointed out that it's likely her friend doesn't want to be pressured into anything at this young an age.

I dispair.

 

[LunarKitten]

Unfortunately it wasn't a prank. I've talked to them for ages before just as friends online and their interest sprang up just as I was mentioning I had a new girlfriend. Despite my best efforts to keep things

The point is that I certainly don't consider myself an elder by any stretch to anyone. Hell, I still do a lot of the same stuff I did as a 14-year old, now. I just don't ever remember myself or anyone else I know being even near as sexually active as these girls are. I mean, I'm not talking about some little innocent tryst with a boyfriend or girlfriend, but some pretty heavy stuff like multiple partners and BDSM to an extreme I have yet to even contemplate for my relationship.

Personally, I don't agree with it. I think sexuality should be treated as a pretty serious thing, no matter what your preferences are. I don't feel that 14-year old really understand what they are getting into when they start experimenting that young. Where do we draw the line of social acceptability?

Sorry if all this sounds ranty. I truly cannot get my head around how little people consider their actions will affect their lives. The one that got to me was a question as to how one of them should pressure her friend into considering a lesbian relationship with her. She even took offense when I pointed out that it's likely her friend doesn't want to be pressured into anything at this young an age.

I dispair.

It wasn't even a consideration for me at that age. I knew I was way too emotionally immature to handle anything like that.

I think it's sad that they feel they have to be "grown" up and immediately explore things like this at that young of an age. Heck, I discovered my interest in my late twenties, but didn't join a r/t group for several years. I think kids are almost forced to be more adult nowadays, and I think the next few generations are going to bite us in the ass for it. There are diseases rampant amont the high school population that were almost wiped out ten years ago. *shakes head sadly*

Hopefully, with our daughter, growing up in a rather open minded household will allow her to be herself for as long as she wants to be a kid. We don't push her to join every available group to fill up every hour of her day with activities we have to drive her to everyday she's not in school. We don't push her to be the top grade achiever. We don't push her to be most popular. If anything, we make her slow down and try to make sure she enjoys whatever activity she does decide she wants to join - limited to two during the school year, cause education does come first.

 

[Xelebes]

It's not a matter of being grown up or anything like that - it is a matter or actually exploring things younger than you'd expect and is totally not unreasonable (yay for double negatives) to think that this does not happen. I mean, in a more populated world in a more crowded envioronments, there is more opportunities to explore and opportunities to find someone else who wants to explore. I mean, the world is not going to a hell-in-a-handbasket or anything like that, just younger than you would expect. And of course, you have to learn to expect the unexpected.

 

[O'Mac]

It wasn't even a consideration for me at that age. I knew I was way too emotionally immature to handle anything like that.

I think it's sad that they feel they have to be "grown" up and immediately explore things like this at that young of an age. Heck, I discovered my interest in my late twenties, but didn't join a r/t group for several years. I think kids are almost forced to be more adult nowadays, and I think the next few generations are going to bite us in the ass for it. There are diseases rampant amont the high school population that were almost wiped out ten years ago. *shakes head sadly*

Hopefully, with our daughter, growing up in a rather open minded household will allow her to be herself for as long as she wants to be a kid. We don't push her to join every available group to fill up every hour of her day with activities we have to drive her to everyday she's not in school. We don't push her to be the top grade achiever. We don't push her to be most popular. If anything, we make her slow down and try to make sure she enjoys whatever activity she does decide she wants to join - limited to two during the school year, cause education does come first.

That's always good advice, in my opinion. Let kids be kids. Teach them tolerence, teach them compassion, teach them how the real world works, and what is right and wrong.

It is sad how the youth of today have to grow up so fast. They are bombarded with sexuality on a daily basis in their lives. TV, radio, printed matter, the internet, etc. While I am incredibly grateful a site like Literotica is available online, I certainly don't want any young child of mine logging on before they are truly ready to understand what human sexuality is, let alone the details of certain lifestyles.

 

[Xelebes]

It is sad how the youth of today have to grow up so fast. They are bombarded with sexuality on a daily basis in their lives. TV, radio, printed matter, the internet, etc. While I am incredibly grateful a site like Literotica is available online, I certainly don't want any young child of mine logging on before they are truly ready to understand what human sexuality is, let alone the details of certain lifestyles.

To say that is kinda non-substantial. You were bombarded with sexuality as much as you were then and now. I can't really see all that much difference. Curious children will always find the curious thing and play/fiddle with it. In fact, I'd have to say that there were these threesomes and foursomes twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years ago. The only reason it is happening mroe is because there is more children than there was then in a more crowded enviorment. We are not experiencing entropy here but rather a sickly serving of nostalgia that really doesn't serve to answer the questions posed other than to recollect on your memories. You didn't grow up in environments similar to the children who were practicing it then and now.

 

[shayne_mayhem]

At fourteen puberty is a distant memory, especially for girls.

Holy shit, it wasn't for me!
I must admit I think it's weird too. I like sexual liberation, for legal adults, but I think that in general, kids are growing up too fast. I sound like an oldie, when I'm not, but even 7 year olds are being labeled as "pre-teens" these days and catered to by the media and fashion industries as though they're already 14. I mean, crap, when I was 7 I was wearing unicorn T-shirts and rainbow-striped pants.

Now it's all hip hugging jeans (WHAT hips??) and baby tees. I feel like childhood in general is getting dumped by the wayside in the name of "hipness" or something.

 

[O'Mac]

To say that is kinda non-substantial. You were bombarded with sexuality as much as you were then and now. I can't really see all that much difference. Curious children will always find the curious thing and play/fiddle with it. In fact, I'd have to say that there were these threesomes and foursomes twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years ago. The only reason it is happening mroe is because there is more children than there was then in a more crowded enviorment. We are not experiencing entropy here but rather a sickly serving of nostalgia that really doesn't serve to answer the questions posed other than to recollect on your memories. You didn't grow up in environments similar to the children who were practicing it then and now.

Hold on now. You first say that we were bombarded with sexuality as much as we were then and now, then you state that we didn't grow up environments similar to the children who were practicing it then and now.

There is no denying that human sexuality hasn't been varied in the past just as it is today, it's just that it clearly wasn't pushed on us to the extent it is today. Maybe these attitudes could end up doing more harm then good?

I think anyone with children at that age would also readily agree with that claim.

 

[DVS]

Kids are sexually active at this age, like it or not. Not all kids are, but greater numbers, as the years go by. Oral sex is quite often the method first used, and they don't even think if it as a sexual act. It's becoming more and more common for a date to perform, and they even have socials where oral sex is performed. Sorry to you moms and dads.

But, on another note...police tend to use the age of 14, when looking for petofiles, too. Not that this situation you mention is a cop, I'd still be sure not to try and connect with any of these youngsters.

But, back to the main topic...yes 14 is pretty young for developing sexual kinks. I might have had a few thoughts in that area when I was that age, but I didn't understand the feelings. And, I'm sure the Internet has given the 14 year olds of today a lot more info than I had, when I was their age. A simple google search will bring up more info than I had at the ripe age of 17.

 

[Liana26]

Even though I didn't exactly know what it was, I've been into D/s probably since I was about 7 years old. I started reading stories on the internet when I was 14, but I agree that kids shouldn't be contacting people like that.

When I was 13 I met a 27-year-old on the internet. We talked quite often for a couple of years and that whole time he'd always make these suggestive, sexual comments to me. Of course, at the time I just thought it was sooo cool that a man was interested in me instead of some dumb middle school boy. I didn't realize how sick this relationship was until I turned 17, about a year after we gradually drifted apart.

 

[Leolover711]

Be Careful

As likely as not, the 14 year old was a 44 year old male cop trying to catch a pedophile. My advice is (and I have doen this several times) that when an underage person contacts Me, I tell them they should be careful and not try to contact older men on the internet regarding sex as it could be very dangerous.

In line with many other comments on the thread, I lost My virginity at 14 and by 16 knew about My Dom side, so I don't think it is unusaul for a 14 year to be curious at all. The way learn is by asking questions and experimenting. I think it is best to give a curious teenager the straight answers. Hopefully they'll learn that some adults can be trusted and that it is better to think/work through things before blindly jumping in and getting over their heads.

 

[jasonlf]

I am part of a forum where on average, I'm one of the older members. 14 years of age is a reasonable age to get curious about it - I first knew I was into anything remotely kinky at about age 16. It's not a far stretch to imagine some starting earlier in their exploration.

I wouldn't touch a sex forum with <18 people on it with a ten foot pole.

 

[timenabtl]

I wouldn't touch a sex forum with <18 people on it with a ten foot pole.

Sage advice. You probally shouldn't be talking to anyone that says they are 14, about sex. You even have to be careful in the 18 and older chat rooms & forums.

My 18 year old daughter had been talking to a friend on AIM for a couple of years. She just found out he is 32. We had a talk about what kind of loser has nothing better to do than talk to little girls on the internet. He hasn't been lurking around her since. Yes...have a completely open relationship with your kids! It pays off for them and you.

 

[chris9]

If there are interests in sex at 14, the teens will experiment. So IMO the only thing parents can do is teach them about pregnancy and STDs, so hopefully they will use condoms. Not talking to minors about sex on the internet is a must, of course, though if you are 18 or 19 and talking to a 15, 16 yo, that should be alright.
Personally I wouldn't want to be giving any minor any ideas their parents are against. I see it as their responsibility to be there for their kids (though I do know that many are NOT and for sure I would not have asked my mom).

I guess in this thread I would be considered kind of a late-developer (first kiss at 16...). I started my first sexual experiences at 17. Looking back (I'm 23, so not too much to look back to) I would say that this was too early for me. But it was my mistake and I can live with it. So I want to give the 14 yos the opportunity of doing the same (there's a saying that you can only learn from your own mistakes), providing them with ALL the information of negative consequences.

 

[Netzach]

It's an age old problem: kids exploring sex before their elders are comfortable with idea. I don't think there is anything unusual about an interest in BDSM at age 14 - certainly I would have jumped to serve a similar aged domme at that age.

At fourteen puberty is a distant memory, especially for girls. Teens are in adolescence at that point and hormones are raging.

Um, I got my period at 15 and I wasn't attracted to anybody that I remember. I think I was mostly into academics and my small circle of friends. Sex was kind of disgusting when I thought about the notion with my peers, my fantasy life was pretty tame and vanilla, but peopled with people older than I was.

I don't think I'd encountered my first photo of a domme in leather quite yet, that happened maybe the next year. (my reaction was, secretly, that's what I want to do when I grow up!)

While girls are, statistically, gettting periods earlier and earlier these days, I think you will still find 14 year olds in the throes of puberty. I think you will find a lot of horny men claiming to be 14 yo girls on the net, though, as well as various government officials trying to find pedos.

 

[Lilith]

I wouldn't touch a sex forum with <18 people on it with a ten foot pole.

And as someone who runs a forum, I would strongly urge people to report the minor to site admins. if the site states you must be 18 to participate.

 

[Quint]

At 14, we had just installed AOL (version 2.0...ahh, memories) and I was entering every adult chatroom I could, trying to learn as much about sex as I could. I wanted to know everything I could. I didn't think seriously about my chances of actually getting laid--I redefined "awkward"--but I sure did want to hear about how people actually did it. *shrugs* I don't think that's all that unusual or even necessarily a bad thing.

 

[O'Mac]

And as someone who runs a forum, I would strongly urge people to report the minor to site admins. if the site states you must be 18 to participate.

I strongly agree with you on that one. What we don't need is some impressionable youths on here figuring out they know what they're getting into, then doing something incredibly stupid and dangerous, thus further alienating our lifestyle even more from the sexual mainstream.

I think one point I'd like to bring up is that as members of the BDSM community, I feel at times we are obligated to encourage valid education of what the lifestyle is about. Issues such as personal safety as well as emotional well-being and the pros ond cons of the lifestyle need to be properly addressed to individuals (especially at a young age) so they can make proper choices for themselves and their partners.

 

[nightdancer2876]

Now it's all hip hugging jeans (WHAT hips??) and baby tees. I feel like childhood in general is getting dumped by the wayside in the name of "hipness" or something..

I hate to say this...My 8 year old is wearing a bra, as I was at 8. She is also almost 5 feet tall. The kid already gets attention from the 10-12 year old boys in her activity center. In fact, she and I had a mini-talk tonight about this. Some of the boys were making comments about her and a few other girls' bodies. Kids grow up faster. (Personally I blame Britney, lol) They are innudated with music, tv, movies, and so on. Even the kids movies...I was watching Aladdin tonight...Ya'll notice Jasmine isnt wearing much? Ok, I am getting off topic. My point is that kids are developing at younger and younger ages, and as parents, its our job to keep our eyes on it.

Dancer

 

[Xelebes]

Hold on now. You first say that we were bombarded with sexuality as much as we were then and now, then you state that we didn't grow up environments similar to the children who were practicing it then and now.

There is no denying that human sexuality hasn't been varied in the past just as it is today, it's just that it clearly wasn't pushed on us to the extent it is today. Maybe these attitudes could end up doing more harm then good?

I think anyone with children at that age would also readily agree with that claim.

What I meant to say was that environments existed back then as they do today to encourage the same behaviour. It's not different - you can just view more now. Your perception was much narrower then and could not see the things as you can today due to experiences and all that wonderful shit they feed in English classes.