Wrote a little poem today let me know...

[RidingSolo2Day]

As I was surfing through some of the poems here in Lit I found one that inspired me to write one. What do you think?

Put yourself in my control and I promise you will be fine, for tonight you will be mine.
Pour us some wine as I turn down the bed, as thoughts of you now fill my head.
The candles I light in anticipation of their flames, which will burn between us through out the night.
Remove my clothes as you look into my eyes, but be sure to leave me my tie.
For I will take my silk tie and bind you, as I firmly restrain you with my eyes.
The anticipation in your eyes will soon yield to the dark, as they are concealed as if by a shield.
Feel my kisses as they capture your flesh, capturing your sole as it floats on its own.
The electrical pulses from my tongue will tear at your nerves, as they stimulate your curves.
Your passion will flicker like the candles in the night as they prepare to scream with delight.
The touches you feel are those that will heal but you’re memory of tonight will be more real.
As you succumb to my wishes and I allow you to feel, the waves as they come crashing down making you kneel.
As I slowly release you from your world, the blindfold will fall leaving you wanting for so much more.
My body you will please as you get on your knees, wanting to show me how much you feel at ease.
My body is now yours to touch as the ropes they are gone, but what I really want to know is, is your submission to me now complete?

 

[WickedEve]

HI
Which poem inspired you?

 

[WomanPariah]

edited.

 

[LeBroz]

HI
Which poem inspired you?

Thread jack alert!!

An interesting question, but what I want to know is who is that really old guy there next to you in your AV? Is that the infamous Hugo we keep hearing about? Talk about robbing the cradle!!! That's practically a child there next to him.



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[WickedEve]

Thread jack alert!!

An interesting question, but what I want to know is who is that really old guy there next to you in your AV? Is that the infamous Hugo we keep hearing about? Talk about robbing the cradle!!! That's practically a child there next to him.



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Go look at the profile pic.
That's "Hugo." I was worried that you guys would think I made him up. He's real and only 2 1/2 years older! I should be dating you, Leon. I like 'em young.

 

[Angeline]

Go look at the profile pic.
That's "Hugo." I was worried that you guys would think I made him up. He's real and only 2 1/2 years older! I should be dating you, Leon. I like 'em young.

He's very cute! And he has hair.
<sorry, ee my love, your smooth noggin is beautiful and so kissable.>

I never thought you made him up. Even you couldn't be that creative.

 

[WickedEve]

He's very cute! And he has hair. <sorry, ee my love, your smooth noggin is beautiful and so kissable.>I never thought you made him up. Even you couldn't be that creative.

He has thick hair... and a bit of a beer belly, tattoos, and he drinks and smokes, but he's very smart, makes good money, and treats me like his slutty princess, so I'm not complaining.

Oh, my god, RidingSolo. Sorry. Your poem! I'm still curious about your inspiration and what about the poem inspired you to write.

 

[Angeline]

He has thick hair... and a bit of a beer belly, tattoos, and he drinks and smokes, but he's very smart, makes good money, and treats me like his slutty princess, so I'm not complaining.

Oh, my god, RidingSolo. Sorry. Your poem! I'm still curious about your inspiration and what about the poem inspired you to write.

If you love him, I'm sure he's wonderful. You have good taste. I'm not wild about the tattoos, but I'll learn to live with them. Lol.

Now RidingSolo, I think Eve has a good idea. I'd like to know about your inspiration, too. Is this a poem for someone? Have you written other poems? Your poem has quite a bit of prose in it. There are many places where it sounds more like a little story than a poem. That may be fine by you and if it is, leave it as is. If you want to edit it, start reading other poems here and elsewhere and see what you like about them and how you could change your poem to get it there. Then start tinkering. The more you tinker, the more you'll learn.

 

[RidingSolo2Day]

Thanks for the feedback folks. I don't normally write poetry. I am more of a short story writer myself. I wrote a quick short one the other day in response to something that someone else wrote in another topic on this forum. I kind of used the story as a creative way of helping him see why people like forums and the internet. I am sure that you can search my posts to find it and read it. As for the poem that inspired it, I will have to hunt for it. I read many poems today here on Lit and then just started typing.

thanks for taking it easy on a newbie.