Writing Subconscious Conflict

[jack30341]

Writing a story about a protagonist who is deeply conflicted about what she is getting drawn into.

I'm trying to come up with ways to show how her subconscious self is conflicting with her conscious self.

The best, and often used, way is when a character says one thing, such as "I detest you." But yet physically they feel aroused.

Am interested in other ways to show this kind of conflict.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Some will naysay me, but how about italics?

“I hate you! I wouldn’t sleep with you for a million dollars!”

Yes, you would, an inner voice whispered. Sarah felt her nipples harden in agreement.

 

[jack30341]

Some will naysay me, but how about italics?

Yes, I love that.

I use italics often to express a character's inner voice.

And, I think the nipples hardening, just like 'wetness' between legs,' works effectively, too.

But beyond the usual like the physical arousal, what lands really well?

I like the contradictory inner voice.

Have also written where my character, who is pissed with the other character, nevertheless makes plans to have to be around the other character.

I just think it's so compelling when a character battles inner conflict as well.

 

[KeithD]

Italics, if you want, for Literotica submission, but in the example given, they aren't needed--the text already explains they are thoughts (and, in the U.S. system, italics aren't supported for thoughts--Chicago Manual of Style).

"Yes, you would, an inner voice whispered. Sarah felt her nipples harden in agreement."

 

[JamesMiehoff]

I tend to use single quotes (') to denote the voices in my character's heads and double quotes (") for their verbal responses.

We were at the mall when my wife nudged me and said, "What about her?"

Looking to where she was pointing, was a gorgeous young woman in a body hugging red dress that looked painted on. Her tits looked so perfect with just a hint of nipple poking through.

'Look at those tits' went THAT voice in my head. 'Bend her over and bang her like a drum' screamed one of the other voices. The leg voice whistled and said, 'Those legs go on forever. Hubba, Hubba'.

"Meh," I finally said, "She's cute, but she is really being an attention whore in that dress. I'm happy with you."

'Pussy whipped' rang out the chorus between my ears.

James

 

[jack30341]

Italics, if you want, for Literotica submission, but in the example given, they aren't needed--the text already explains they are thoughts (and, in the U.S. system, italics aren't supported for thoughts--Chicago Manual of Style).

"Yes, you would, an inner voice whispered. Sarah felt her nipples harden in agreement."

When I say "show," what I'm asking about isn't how it appears on the page.

I'm asking what does the character think, feel, or do, that is demonstrating that there is inner conflict.

So, if one says, "I hate you," but they're stiffening in their in jeans, then that's inner conflict.

I'm looking for ways for how a character does things that go against what she is outwardly portraying.

Just some writing brainstorming is all.

 

[KeithD]

I was addressing the technicals of the suggestion given to you.

If you are writing from that character's perspective, you can just directly write the emotional turmoil going on in her/his head--the conflicting thoughts, doubts, reasoning process. I'm not sure I understand what your problem is beyond that. If you want to show it going on in more than one character's head, you do have the problem that head hopping isn't encouraged, in which case you'd have to show that through their expressions, speech, and actions.

 

[NotWise]

Writing a story about a protagonist who is deeply conflicted about what she is getting drawn into.

I'm trying to come up with ways to show how her subconscious self is conflicting with her conscious self.

The best, and often used, way is when a character says one thing, such as "I detest you." But yet physically they feel aroused.

Am interested in other ways to show this kind of conflict.

I'm not sure I can improve on the method you already know. Have them do things that are inconsistent with what they think and/or say. In order for it to make sense to the reader, they'd have to take some time realizing the conflict.

 

[yowser]

Not sure if you are in first person or third person voice, it might help to think about what you yourself notice when someone else is in conflict, and what they do or say.

Fidgeting? Looking away, then back to the 'target'? Criticizing something obviously that does not deserve it, but demonstrates that the person is 'noticing' it? Flopping opinions back and forth in discussion? The kinds of behavior that gets noticed on public transportation or in public in general?

You may be able to heighten the effect by showing and telling, again, depending on your narrator's voice.

 

[SimonDoom]

I would probably just tackle it head on rather that in the form of internal dialogue.


You could do this:

"What will he think of me?" Emily wondered as she unbuttoned her blouse.

Or

Emily wondered what he would think of her as she unbuttoned her blouse.

I do this both ways, but usually prefer the second. I think it's cleaner and clearer and flows more easily with narration. But if you have a long scene with just one character, sometimes it's better to render it in dialogue form to break up the formatting of your paragraphs. A mixture of narrative and dialogue is more fun to read.

I don't use italics or any special formatting, ever, partly because I'm lazy and partly because a simple, non-italics font is the easiest thing to read. I like easy. Italics is fine in small doses, but I dislike reading big chunks of text in italics.

If you do things as I did in the second example, above, you don't ever have to worry about special formatting -- no italics and no quote marks are needed. Just describe the train of thought inside the character. Also, narrate events and descriptions from that person's point of view, as that person would see things. Given your question, always pay close attention to what the character experiences internally as the character moves into new scenes and new situations.

 

[Voboy]

I like the italics.

You could also have her friends ask why she's not smiling as much. Or make her feel like throwing up a lot. Or have her boss ask if she needs some time off.

Those kinds of things will telegraph to her that whatever narrative she's telling herself about how well she's coping isn't working. It's not fooling her body, nor is it fooling those around her.

 

[ChasPHX]

Lots of good advice here already. I don't have any additional suggestions about how to do it, but I did want to share a couple of ideas for research.

First though, it seems clear that you're talking about internal conflict that the MC is fully aware of, not subconscious conflict, which by definition means the character wouldn't even know that conflict existed. That's probably just semantics at this point.

It might be worth researching how to write the "unreliable narrator." It's not exactly what you're talking about, but I still think you would find some great tips. I think EA Poe is considered the "classic" example of that style.

A recent example that I really liked, way more than I thought I would, was in the novel The Girl on the Train. The MC is super unreliable, and she's also in great conflict with herself over many of the relationships in the story. I read it about 3 years ago, but I recall some good internal conflict over an improper and unethical sexual relationship too, maybe even more than one. I think you might find it helpful for what you're trying to do.

Lastly, and this a personal thing, I don't enjoy reading situations where there is internal conflict shown over what the MC thinks/says vs their biological reaction. You mentioned wetness and hard nipples vs thinking she doesn't want it.

I think that can be a little dangerous, if not very dangerous. It's like the rapist saying "If she didn't want it, why was she wet?" It's pretty well proven that biological responses are out of our control and they are not proof of desire or of "wanting" it.

I think you just have to be careful how you treat that.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Reveal the conflict by her actions within the story. Write her doing conflicted things, contrary to her nature. That means you have to establish her character first, show what kind of a woman she is, then have her do things contrary to that character.

If you have to broadcast or designate she's conflicted, you haven't established what makes her tick in the first place, in which case her tock makes no sense.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I'm kind of fond of constructions like:

"I'm not mad at you," he bellowed.

or

"No, really, I'm not in the mood," she said, idly circling her nipple with her fingertip.

 

[Bramblethorn]

With apologies for resurrecting a dormant thread, just noting that use of italics for internal thoughts does seem to be seeing improved acceptance in mainstream publishing. For example, from a recent e-book published by a US MacMillan imprint:

The same book uses italics within quoted speech to denote characters reading from a letter:

 

[KeithD]

First, I personally like italics used this way and was bummed when the Chicago Manual of Style dropped it as an option (in a general cutting back on the use of italics). I haven't bought edition 17 of the Chicago Manual of Style, as being too expensive for the use I'd have for it now. Does anyone have access to edition 17 and can check whether italics has been OKed for thoughts again? That said, yes, some mainstream publishers never accepted the CMA dropping of italics for this, so it never fully went away.

And there'd be no reason other than risking format errors not to use italics in Literotica submissions as long as you were consistent in the usage. Using italics does require extra effort and risks format errors here, though.

 

[Hypoxia]

Some will naysay me, but how about italics?

I hereby naysay you. The LIT Android app, used by an unknown (to me) but likely large proportion of LIT readers, does not support HTML tags including those for italics, bold, underline, or center. I mostly try to avoid italics, same as Homer did.

Re: the OP's query, I prefer internal dialogue or a hint thereof.

My mind said "resist" but my body said "go for it, dummy!"​

or

My raw desires easily subdued my moral qualms.​

or

Choices swirled around me. None were perfect. All had costs.​

Reading with a web browser, I intensely dislike long passages in italics. Too hard to read. Too enticing to jump to the end and leave a low score and/or a caustic comment. YMMV.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I hereby naysay you. The LIT Android app, used by an unknown (to me) but likely large proportion of LIT readers, does not support HTML tags including those for italics, bold, underline, or center.

Then it's a broken app, unfit for purpose. If people choose to read stories with an app that doesn't support even the most basic of HTML functionality, that's their problem.

The claim of a "large proportion of Lit readers" using the Android app has been raised before, but I'm yet to see any evidence that supports it. It's hard to see how an app that's not available through the Android store and isn't even prominently featured on the Literotica webpage could be used by a large proportion of readers.