(WRITING Q) When do you do things to yourself?

[NoJo]

I still write

"He thought to himself"

when I spose I mean

"He said to himself".


Q. Is "He thought to himself" ever meanigful?

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Yes, it'd be important to make that distinction if that character is a psionic with mindspeech.

 

[NoJo]

Thanks lucifer. That's probably what I had in mind.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Internal dialogue.

Fuck, he thought to himself as he walked in to the room. He wondered to himself where he'd left his wallet.

He walked into the room and looked around. Fuck, where the hell did I drop my wallet?

 

[NoJo]

Whay d'you keep dropping your fucking wallet, you spazz?

 

[Octavian]

Hi Sub Joe

I would have thought that the words 'to himself' would be redundant coming after 'he thought'.

The only time they could be necessary is in a construction such as, 'he kept his thoughts to himself'. In this case it the assumption is that he is not going to share his thoughts with anyone else, the corollary being that one's thoughts are always to one's self and hence do not need further explanation.

Octavian

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Internal dialogue.

Fuck, he thought to himself as he walked in to the room. He wondered to himself where he'd left his wallet.

He walked into the room and looked around. Fuck, where the hell did I drop my wallet?

True I use it for that all the time, but I think you're not supposed to. And when you think about it, it is extraneous. You do think to yourself, but it'd make the same amount of sense as just think.

The sentence loses no value if rewritten:

Fuck, he thought as he walked into the room. He wondered where he'd left his wallet.

 

[NoJo]

I never "think" an expletive (hey, I'm trying keep this serious)


"Fuck", he said to himself

is the only one that would work.

Fuck, he thought

seems wrong. Deeply, disturbingly wrongggg....

 

[Op_Cit]

I think the word "thought/think" is important to distinquish between those times that I talk to myself. (Which is often, and I'll fall back on Gandalf's excuse.)

But does it get weird in reply?

He thought, "where did I leave my wallet?"

"Probably left it my pocket and washed it like a fucking moron", he replied out loud.

OK now I'm confused.

And Just because you talk to yourself doesn't make you schizoid. Does it?

 

[English Lady]

Am I doing it wrong by putting it in speech wotsits then?

"Well thats it girl" She thought "you've blown it now."


As an example....

 

[English Lady]

And Just because you talk to yourself doesn't make you schizoid. Does it?

I really, really hope not!

 

[Op_Cit]

I really, really hope not!

Whew, that's what I think too. But the voices in my head keep telling me different...

 

[English Lady]

Whew, that's what I think too. But the voices in my head keep telling me different...

*giggles*

*takes note* yet another one I can manipulate by pretending i'm a voice in their head.

 

[CharleyH]

I still write

"He thought to himself"

when I spose I mean

"He said to himself".


Q. Is "He thought to himself" ever meanigful?

Quite frankly, I dont care about him Neither is necessary.

 

[Guest]

When I get to that sort of internal dialogue I try to circumvent it via something like Carson's example. I think I've rarely actually written, 'she thought to herself'. P.

 

[cantdog]

My characters tell themselves things, though. I believe that's legitimate.

 

[Octavian]

Thinking to oneself or not.

Here is a simple question which also demonstrates that the words 'to himself' are redundant after the verb to think.

Who else can he think to?

Octavian

 

[gauchecritic]

The implication of thinking to himself is that there is no one there to whom he wishes to communicate, neither psionically or otherwise.

So in this way it does give an impression of 'keeping his own counsel'.

And the thought struck him; So the defendant is NOT guilty of redundancy.

 

[TheEarl]

I use 'to himself' when the character is actually having a conv with the inner voices as in speaking to himself. 'He thought' is used when he's not actually 'vocalising' the thinking.

Hope that makes some kind of sense - I'm drunk.

The Earl

 

[carsonshepherd]

I never "think" an expletive (hey, I'm trying keep this serious)


"Fuck", he said to himself

is the only one that would work.

Fuck, he thought

seems wrong. Deeply, disturbingly wrongggg....

Are you saying I'm disturbed?

I think expletives constantly. I mutter them under my breath and sometimes even blurt them out in inappropriate situations. (Sorry, Grandma!)

 

[sincerely_helene]

I'm a bit of a dialogue whore in my writing. My latest proved to be a great excersize in getting around that whole "he thought," "he said aloud," dilemma, because the characters didn't speak the same language. This forced me to relay what I was meaning via descriptions.

Instead of "Where is my wallet," he said/thought to himself; how about "His eyes shifted in puzzlement as he patted the empty pockets of which his wallet usually resided."

When I think of "he said to himself," I always wonder why the characters are talking to themselves and it seems to detract from the rest of the story.

 

[cantdog]

That's the sign of a good writer. Thinking about the limits on the characters, because of language, because of poor light, because they could never see whatever-it-is from where they are.

Twain rakes Fenimore Cooper over the coals, justly, for all the things they can all see, including a tear silently creeping down a cheek, when they are hiding in the little cavern beneath the waterfall. Good for you. This is what makes it a craft. Cooper made lots of mistakes you already know more about writing than to commit.

 

[NoJo]

I'm a bit of a dialogue whore in my writing. My latest proved to be a great excersize in getting around that whole "he thought," "he said aloud," dilemma, because the characters didn't speak the same language. This forced me to relay what I was meaning via descriptions.

Instead of "Where is my wallet," he said/thought to himself; how about "His eyes shifted in puzzlement as he patted the empty pockets of which his wallet usually resided."

When I think of "he said to himself," I always wonder why the characters are talking to themselves and it seems to detract from the rest of the story.

I've spent the last couple of years (god is it that long?) writing screenplays, where inner dialog is pretty rare (you can get away with it sometimes, especially in comedies). So I'm really used to using gestures and actions rather than exploiting the "privileged access" to peoples inner lives.

It feels funny being able to write things like "he thought", or even "he knew", for me now.

The other thing that feels odd after writing nothing but screenplays for a while is using the past tense. All screenplays are in the present tense.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Now what about limits in the present tense? I've written one story in the present tense and I think it's my best because of a blazing sense of immediacy. But there are times when it's stilted and you can't use any sort of self-knowledge, what do I mean, maybe I mean hindsight. So I like it, but it has limits in its uses for me.

So I'm really used to using gestures and actions rather than exploiting the "privileged access" to peoples inner lives.

That's a good way to teach yourself to show and not tell.

 

[Kassiana]

Whay d'you keep dropping your fucking wallet, you spazz?

Damn you for making me spew coffee upon reading this.

May your camel receive a foot injury so you have to remain at the oasis rather than continuing your journey.