Writing outside your experiences

[PorscheLynn]

I'm working on a story right now that involves something that I've never done, and is rather complex. It's not so much something you can take a similar experience and extrapolate. I mean, I suppose you could, but I haven't had any experience similar to it. It's not the whole of the story, but I feel the story would be incomplete without this information.

So I'm putting up a poll, because I'm tired of trying to solve the problem on my own!

 

[Guest]

 

[PorscheLynn]

PL,

It's hard to say, you're question is vague, so I'm not quite sure what you're asking and couldn't vote.

Lime

Oh. Hmm, maybe I need my first cup of coffee, eh?

Question, rephrased, in hopes that it makes more sense: If you got an idea for a story, but part of it involved something you've never experienced*, what would be the best options, in your opinion, for how to handle that problem?

*(in my case, the thing I haven't experienced involves the male character having his ass waxed, if this helps to know what I'm saying)

 

[dr_mabeuse]

The writer's basic tool is his imagination, and most of what we write in porn is invented anyhow: all those simultaneous orgasms and twelve-inch cocks and greaseless ass-fucks, so I would think you should be able to fake it.

What's important is not how realistic it is, but how real you can make it seem.

---dr.M.

 

[Guest]

 

[Liar]

I missed the most obvious option: Plagarize (I mean, get insired by) other stories on the matter.

Or hell, if it is about male ass waxing, just make it up. Hardly anyone of your readers will have personal experiences to compare with anyway.

#L

 

[PorscheLynn]

PL,

All clear now. In your particular case, (I'm assuming this is not a hair removal, but a BDSM kind of treatment)

Lime

Actually, I do mean hair removal. She's got a spank fetish, and wants to make his ass perfectly spankable.

I've definitely learned that trick though, when possible. When writing a story, I thought to myself, "Do wrists get hickeys without an extraordinary effort?" Thought about it, couldn't remember, sucked on my own wrist. Nope, not so much. I forget what else I "learned by doing" but I know there was something. Anyhow, thanks for the advice Lime, it's a sound idea, but the only way I can think of to try it is to wax my legs, and... well, my characters like pain, not me!


Keep the comments coming y'all, I'm tired of being stalled on this thing! I'm sure I'll be able to pick a plan that works, but the more suggestions the merrier.
*babbles sleepily*

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

I've waxed my legs many times, but never my ass.

If you've never had your legs done, you probably don't know it hurts to buggery, especially the first few times. Little red spots appear, too, and stay for a few hours.

Describe lots of screaming and protesting. She'd probably have to get quite forceful with him and pin him down.

I have written a lot of stuff out of my own scope of experience (the horror stuff), and just let my imagination go wild. Whatever it is you're writing about, just imagine what the character would feel, see, smell, etc. and how they'd react.

Lou

Edited to add: I couldn't vote in your poll, there was no option for "Use your imagination."

 

[PorscheLynn]

I've waxed my legs many times, but never my ass.

If you've never had your legs done, you probably don't know it hurts to buggery...

Oh yes I do, why do you think I've never done it?! Seriously, the whole idea has always terrified me and one time I was watching Jay Leno and he and a female guest (I forget who) got to talking about women waxing their legs, and Jay said women were such babies about it. The female part of the audience was rather annoyed, and so was the guest, so when they came back from commercial the guest had made arrangements to prove it to Jay. Chirst Almighty, did that man even SCREAM....

Thanks for some info, Lou. I'm also trying to figure out some about the basic process. But then, if I'm telling more from his POV, which I am, he can be so blinded by the pain that he doesn't know what she's doing.

Those red bumps, is that right away?

 

[damppanties]

Those red bumps, is that right away?

In my case, it's a red rash-like thing for about two hours or more. I immediately apply something to it, something soothing, cool but it gets red anyway.

When the wax is applied, its like a hot something is placed on your skin - somewhat bearable.

When it's pulled off, THAT is like -- no sensation for a second and then like your skin has been ripped off. You want more?

 

[Guest]

I couldn't vote either. Research! Read (books, the net, articles, pictures), then use your imagination. I've never done any bdsm nor even been to Japan, yet I've been told I've captured the culture (of Japan anyway).

Perdita

 

[Guest]

I couldn't vote either. Research! Read (books, the net, articles, pictures), then use your imagination. I've never done any bdsm nor even been to Japan, yet I've been told I've captured the culture (of Japan anyway).

Perdita

Yep, just want to add my agreement with Perdita. Read, read, read and read more! It's most definitely what helps keep my imagination fertile. It's also a good way to see how the "professionals" do it. If you are an avid reader, writing becomes second nature. Seriously.

Lou

P.S. Perdita, I absolutely love your new AV. Beautiful.

 

[neo-scribe]

_______________

 

[Guest]

Perdita, I absolutely love your new AV. Beautiful.

Thanks, Loulou. Someone sent me a PM saying he thought it the best yet. Maybe I'll keep it for awhile. P.

 

[Guest]

Thanks, Loulou. Someone sent me a PM saying he thought it the best yet. Maybe I'll keep it for awhile. P.

Yep, and I'm inclined to agree with him. I think you should.

Lou

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I agree.....research is essential. the nice thing is sometimes when I'm researching one thing, I gather information on another.
~A~

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Well I’m going to disagree. Research is over-rated. Porn deals in fantasy, not reality, and 95% of what’s in Lit stories is made up. It’s the way we’d like it to be, not the way it really is.

Sure, if you’re writing about an ass-waxing you want to find out how it’s done, but you don’t have to go conduct a male ass-waxing survey to write about it. I can tell you how men would react: some will grit their teeth and bare it, and others will cry and moan. What’s to research?

---dr.M.

P.S. And forget about it. I'm already thinking of a story called "The Male Ass-Waxing Survey". Either that or use it as the name of a new band.

 

[curious2c]

Research is a part of being an author...or so I believe. In that sense I find someone who knows about that subject of which I need to find out more and talk to them.

In addition, I have written from the female point of view and often wondered if I got it right...I would ask my wife, but she always gives me 'that' look, as if I am trying to talk her into a sexual encounter...which I know will not be forthcoming.

 

[sweetnpetite]

1. Reaserch is important

2. Our stories are about fantasy.

3. If you can fantisize about it, there's your reserch. (unless you want to do more)


Ass waxing- I would bet it's painful. Pain is experienced differently by different people though (I have a friend who didn't think childbirth was 'all that painful' and she didn't have drugs) so you reallly can't go wrong by describing it how you want. (Ie, do you want to show willingness to suffer, someone taking pleasure at the suffering, or would you rather have the pain not be the focus--"All in all it wasn't as bad as I expected"-- It's really up to you.)

I will admit that I had no golden showers experience before I wrote "Forced to Pee" for my fetish story. (And in fact, it wasn't supposed to be a golden showers story, it was just going to be a control thing with a little 'tinkle' fetish, not a full on 'watersports' thing, but the story took over) I had read a few stories, went over an idea in my head ahundred times to get myself used to the idea (still wasnt' comfortable with it when I wrote it) and then took the plunge. I think it's my highest rated story yet. And I think part of that was because I really had to sell the idea as sexy, because I wasn't fully convinced myself. I think that sometimes writers get a little lazy when the idea is one that turns them on easily.

OK, so what's my point? Some things will need to be researched (Like if your story is taking place in a foreing country or something, you should know a little something about the place) and some things can be faked. I think how something feels can be faked. Think about anal sex for example. In some stories it seems painful and in others it doesn't. Even if it really is painful, sometimes we might want to fantisize that it's not- you know

 

[SlickTony]

Aw, geez. If I had to strictly limit my writing to stuff I had actually experienced I'd have precious little to say.

I have waxed my upper lip. One gets used to it.

 

[wishfulthinking]

I saw this reality tv show about a hair salon in the uk, and they had to perform a "back, crack and sack" wax. Excruciating is the word that comes to mind.

Good luck!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Concerning research: Yes, research is important for setting and background, but when it comes down to the sex we write about here, I would offer these observations:

--I know a number of women who have written well-received lesbian stories who’ve never had a lesbian encounter. I’m not positive, but I don’t think they’ve interviewed other lesbians to find out what it’s like. They use their imaginations.

--Based on a recent AH thread, not that many authors have had multiple-partner sexual experiences, certainly nowhere near as many as who write about them. Real life group sex is rarely the blazing orgasm-a-thon we read about here. Someone’s not doing their research.

--The way anal is usually portrayed here has little to do with the way it works in real life, according to my own experiences of it. There’s quite a bit of warm-up and greasing in real life. It also often makes funny sounds (that trapped air has to go somewhere). In Lit stroes, the guy usually just pops it in and the orgasms begin. Totally unrealistic. More research needed.

--Most first-time sexual experiences aren’t the earth-shaking events they’re described as being in Lit stories. My own ‘research’ on the subject suggests that, for women at least, the first time experience is often better suited to comedy or tragedy than it is to blazing porn.

--Just consider the number of simultaneous or serial orgasms in Lit stories, the number of twelve-inch cocks spurting cupsful of semen every ten minutes, the huge tits and women passing out from coming during a first-time session with a stranger.

--Finally, I’m willing to bet that very few people who write about incest have actually researched it, nor should they. We don’t want to read about the sordid reality of incest; we want hot, sexy daughters and horny, well-hung dads with no psychological repercussions.

It’s important to make it seem real. That’s all reality’s got to do with it though. Research is irrelevant.

---dr.M.

 

[SlickTony]

I think that just about sez it all, Dr. M.

 

[BohemianEcstasy]

Hehe, in my VERY LIMITED erotica-writing experience, all I do is write from non-experience, because my only sexual experience was nothing worth writing about (aside from the fact that it was lesbian sex with our two best friends in the room not knowing what we were doing. Cute idea, but I'd have to really deviate after that to make it worth reading). I think it's a matter of knowing how everything physically works and reading other people's stories to fill in your mental blanks.