Writing outside of my experience

[storyguy62]

I've been doing a bit of erotic writing, my first tries, anyway. I've posted them to alt.sex.stories.moderated and my Geocities page, but I'm going to wait until I'm really sure they don't need any more tweaking before I post them here.

Here's my problem. I've got a story in mind that is an F/F story, which as a guy, I of course have no real life experience with. I'm sure, though, that this is not the only time I'll want to write a fantasy that has no resemblance to anything I've ever done for real, so the question really goes beyond just this particular story. How do I write intelligently about something that I don't have any personal sexual experience with? With this story idea, for instance, I don't want to write it and have a lesbian or a bisexual woman read it and say, "He obviously has no clue what he's talking about." The same would be true if I were to write an incest story, or an anal story, or sadly enough, the vast majority of the fantasies I'd like to turn into stories. How have the more experienced writers handled writing outside of their own personal experience?

 

[Quint]

Lots of reading!

Seriously, spend inordinate amounts of time researching your subject. Lit is an excellent place to start. Try to understand the motivation behind the characters--become them, to a degree. Talk to lesbian friends. Find a lesbian editor and have her thrash your story to pieces. Lesbians really aren't that different from heteros. Don't feel like this is an impossible task!

 

[Whispersecret]

Quint's got it right.

Try reading other lesbian stories, but keep in mind that some of them will not be well-written. Use your own judgement as to whether any impressions you get from them should be applied to your story.

Try your own imagination. You might be surprised at how well you can describe something you've never experienced. I'm sure Thomas Harris never killed anyone, but he writes about it quite vividly.

Ask someone who has experience to go over what you wrote. I have a scene with a guy from a high school swim team giving swimming lessons to a girl. One of my neighbors is a swimmer and so she's going to read over that scene to make sure my lingo is accurate and realistic.

 

[ronde]

Another avenue for research into some topics is to spend some time with your favorite search engine and a few key words. This method works well for historical data, locations, how-to questions, etc. I just "googled" the word "lesbian" and came up with 12,600,000 web pages. Surely there is enough information somewhere in that group to let you ask the right quesitons. I would not suggest that this be your only method of research. I think with a topic like this, you really do need to ask someone who knows in order to be believable.

 

[TheEarl]

My advice is to take on a lesbian cowriter. She will be able to point out your glaring flaws that you will probably have made and maybe improve your story.

The Earl

 

[REDFOXXY1959]

writing out of the realm of your experience

I have been writing stories of all varieties for years and have found that if there was a topic I wanted to write about I just set about it. I sometimes write for friends to expand their fantasies. One of my posted stories is an example of that, it is a FEMDOM story. being that I am a true full blooded romantic this is not something I would do myself. I spent some time reading stories here and searching other sites dealing with domination. When I felt comfortable with my base knowledge I began writing. I sent the story to a friend who has an interest in the lifestyle and asked for an objective opinion. After a bit of polish I then sent it to the person and he was thrilled. I have written 2 such stories one is rather tame and the other is a bit more drastic. any good writer must sometimes research. Do you honestly think that people like Harold Robbins, Tom Clancey and the likes have never done any research?? I have also found that after the initial start that the story just kinda flowed easily so give it a shot and then try the rough draft out on a friend who is either bi or lesbian. If all else fails I'm not an eiditor but I would be happy to give you my opinion. I'm bi

 

[MasterDJs_pet]

Re: Writing outside of my experience...

When I write, I try to add as much realism to a story as I can. If it's obvious the story is fantasy, I make it clear and known that it is a fantasy. I do not try to make it "real".

If there is a topic, place, person, or idea I am not too familiar with, I do research on it. The net is a wonderful thing! And, the public library is not "outdated" yet...

In your case, your best bet may be to talk with a gay or bi woman about F/F sex. If you do not have any friends who are gay or bi, and you're afraid to ask a "random" woman personal questions, read some/many/several gay/bi female stories for inspiration!

Good luck to you.

 

[mlyn]

Research...

And then get in their heads... but I'm not real sure that you could be really successful.

My reasoning is this- I am a heterosexual female. I wrote a lesbian scene, and I don't think it was that good. I can never know what it is like to be a lesbian, just I can't ever know what it is really like to be a gay male, or a black woman. I can imagine how it would be to be made fun and getting called "dyke." I can think I know how it might feel to get beaten up as a gay male. Or I might think I know what prejudice a black woman experiences.

Good luck,
Mlyn