Writing Okay, Next Step?

[AsylumSeeker]

I've been mentoring a few writers, and they've been getting better. So what now?

Detail. Even those watching from a distance can appreciate this.

Add depth... not what you thiink!

Two examples to illustrate:

One:

A buxom woman passes by the door of a bar, attracting the notice of the man leaning over the end of it.

Two;

A buxom woman passes by the door of a bar, noticing the dragon tattoo on the arm of a complete stranger. She's attracted to it.

Okay, it's a weak example ya'll can improve upon (I'm tired). But the point (however dull) has been made.

Add detail, detail, detail!

 

[Boxlicker101]

I've been mentoring a few writers, and they've been getting better. So what now?

Detail. Even those watching from a distance can appreciate this.

Add depth... not what you thiink!

Two examples to illustrate:

One:

A buxom woman passes by the door of a bar, attracting the notice of the man leaning over the end of it.

Two;

A buxom woman passes by the door of a bar, noticing the dragon tattoo on the arm of a complete stranger. She's attracted to it.

Okay, it's a weak example ya'll can improve upon (I'm tired). But the point (however dull) has been made.

Add detail, detail, detail!

These are not two ways of saying the same thing; these are two different things. In the first, a man in the bar is attracted to a woman passing by. In the second a woman is passing by a bar and notices a tattoo on the arm of a man inside.

 

[MaeveoSliabh]

Using the same example:

One:

A buxom woman passes by the door of a bar, attracting the notice of the man leaning over the end of it.

Two;

A woman passes by the door of a bar, her shining blonde hair spilling over the voluptuous rise of her proud breasts, causing the man inside to pause in bringing his longneck to his lips.

Detail is good.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

Very good, as if I am any authority; NOT!

But this can be done!

 

[Boxlicker101]

Using the same example:

One:

A buxom woman passes by the door of a bar, attracting the notice of the man leaning over the end of it.

Two;

A woman passes by the door of a bar, her shining blonde hair spilling over the voluptuous rise of her proud breasts, causing the man inside to pause in bringing his longneck to his lips.

Detail is good.

Okay; that's better. That's detail.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Hemingway said add detail that matters.

Baiting your hook is ho hum, but a taut line and a bent rod is a lot more interesting.

 

[MaeveoSliabh]

<threadjack>

*snicker*

</threadjack>

 

[oggbashan]

I've been mentoring a few writers, and they've been getting better. So what now?

Detail. Even those watching from a distance can appreciate this.

Add depth... not what you thiink!

Two examples to illustrate:

One:

A buxom woman passes by the door of a bar, attracting the notice of the man leaning over the end of it.

Two;

A buxom woman passes by the door of a bar, noticing the dragon tattoo on the arm of a complete stranger. She's attracted to it.

Okay, it's a weak example ya'll can improve upon (I'm tired). But the point (however dull) has been made.

Add detail, detail, detail!

I would never use the dragon tattoo as a detail unless has significance to the story, for example it shows that he used to be a member of a criminal tong. He has left the tong, and has been sentenced to death in his absence, so displaying the tattoo is dangerous. She mentions it to someone else and starts a train of events that bring them together against the villains...

We write short stories. Unnecessary detail detracts from the flow of the story. If we wrote 300,000 word novels, extra detail is permissable. Detail has to be relevant to establishing the character, the mood, the venue and must be essential if it is in a short story.

Og's view.

Edited for PS: But I am guilty of adding unnecessary sheep to my stories.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I would never use the dragon tattoo as a detail unless has significance to the story, for example it shows that he used to be a member of a criminal tong. He has left the tong, and has been sentenced to death in his absence, so displaying the tattoo is dangerous. She mentions it to someone else and starts a train of events that bring them together against the villains...

We write short stories. Unnecessary detail detracts from the flow of the story. If we wrote 300,000 word novels, extra detail is permissable. Detail has to be relevant to establishing the character, the mood, the venue and must be essential if it is in a short story.

Og's view.

Edited for PS: But I am guilty of adding unnecessary sheep to my stories.

This is true, up to a point. We write smutty short stories (At least, I do) so detail, such as the long, blonde hair and large breasts are important to add tittilation. I would probably mention the tattoos, but not in much detail, unless they meant something.