TheRedChamber
Apprentice
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2014
- Posts
- 2,609
* In the US, guys tend to look for women their age or younger. On average, the groom is two years older than the bride and has been for years and years. If they have similar education and career paths, then the guy should make about as much as her if they are the same age or more than her if he's older
* Poor people in the US are more likely to substitute cohabitation for marriage
* The expectation that men do more housework and childcare doesn't really effect the three goals of wanting to be financially successful, marry an attractive wife and be respected. It really kicks once they have kids, which is typically long after they become a couple. The disparity between the amount of housework and childcare men and women do is still quite large
* I can't find any statistics to back this up, but I think women who are financially successful struggle to find husbands. The best I can find is a speed-dating study mentioned in the WSJ in 2013. That study "found that while women prefer men to be intelligent and ambitious, men have these preferences for women only to the point where women threaten to earn more than they do."
* I can't think of many financially successful celebrity women who are happily married, and a lot of those are married to men who are even more financially successful than they are. P!nk is really the only woman that comes to mind who is a financially successful celebrity woman with a happy marriage to someone who earns far less than her, and her marriage was rocky for many years
If you relate all this back to story-telling, you can still make interesting male protagonists.
A quick Google has the number of marriages in the US where the wife earns more than the husband at about a quarter (or 38% if including cases where the husband is not working at all) and growing. This dynamic can lead to marriage issues which may lead either the husband or wife to straying - however you want to frame the story - she's upset because he's not man enough, he finds an extramarital affair boosts his confidence, or he finds other ways to earn her respect other than money.
Yes, there's a still a disparity in the amount of housework done, but it also means that when the hero of our story is actually doing the majority of it (in a failing marriage for example) he isn't necessarily going to get the recognition for it. In divorces and disputes over child-custody, men are usually the ones to loose out - again there's potential from drama when our hero is in the right.
Everything can be mirrored - women who are financially successful struggle to find husbands and equally men who aren't financially successful struggle to find wives. Again, a typical set-up to a story is the guy who shoots out of his league and somehow wins her over - because of good characteristics which aren't just related to financial success.
For highly successful males there is a choice between picking someone who is just as successful as you verses picking someone less successful. For someone like a CEO or a brain surgeon it might make sense, as he's already earning enough money to support a family comfortably, but working all hours, to find someone who is able to devote more time to raising children. At a more basic level, someone in a highly stressful job may find that dating someone in an equally stressful job isn't much fun. In anycase a story where the protagonist has to choose between the two can be interesting - although I feels it's far less common than the typical 'marry for love, marry for money' choices presented in a lot of romances. (probably because they're not going to end up 'poor' regardless)
Celebrity marriages are, for sure, likely to rockier than normal marriages, but I think there's some reporting bias there - you only think about the rocky marriages because these are the ones that are reported on. Pick a celebrity at random and look at the Wikipedia page for their personal life - for example, Kate Bush has been married for thirty years to a guitarist most notable for playing on her records - happy or not I've no idea. Similarly, Annie Lennox had a couple of divorces but has been married to an AIDS charity worker for the last twelve years.