writing live

[butters]

liked the poem. Enjoy your fantasy's context is everything have to reread now... didn't think you were flirting, I was playing off of this line
...see? you're good frontward and backward... when I said...
...and yeah, that's what the missus says.

360degrees, baby

WearMeWell, it's good to see you posting

 

[butters]

a smile builds
like dawn about to break

the sunrise in my heart
i reach for dark glasses
look to long shadows
bask in its heat

 

[HarryHill]

Found half dressed in the shower, long before coffee
half read pm on the screen, puddled jeans

 

[buried_alive]

zombie apocalypse- (regrets implied)

Sun seems timid, rising
through uninvited fog
morning beckons
as if restrained and drained
of its will to live

and specters of yesterday
trudge like zombies
as if finding their way
back to yesterday
would make their days

any brighter




** didn't change anything, clicked by accident

 

[buried_alive]

help wanted-

poem above is not an attempt to rhyme and since I cannot change it there, just wondering how to change the word "days" to something else appropriate without sounding forced. thanks I/A

 

[HarryHill]

Sun seems timid, rising
through uninvited fog
morning beckons
as if restrained and drained
of its will to live

and specters of yesterday
trudge like zombies
as if finding their way
back to yesterday
would make their change

any brighter




** didn't change anything, clicked by accident

idk. first impulse

 

[Maria2394]

Sun seems timid, rising
through uninvited fog
morning beckons
as if restrained and drained
of its will to live

and specters of yesterday
trudge like zombies
as if finding their way
back to yesterday
would make their days

any brighter

*******************

what if you dropped the first "as if"? no suggestions for "brighter"

 

[pelegrino]

RAIN

My night is full of your complains,
I'll grant your wishes if it rains,
With hopeful eyes you look the sky,
And say ,"curse, it looks all dry!"

A new complain about the drought,
So maybe you can do without,
Rain or not you still have fears,
Should I kiss you or box your ears?

I think it over, feel some pity,
Then in the dark you grow more witty,
"What was that noise?" "Oh, just a thunder!"
"the rain starts", "let us go under."

Sorry, i did not understand the rules. This one does not count, I wrote it all in one go, but somewhere else, using a spell checker and then I pasted here.

 

[butters]

fighting back

i'd feel like a rogue dictator
employing chemical warfare
against an opponent so tiny
it seems criminal to even contemplate
if the guerilla tactics
this miniscule David has adapted
over millennia
weren't so damned effective
everything hurts

this Goliath
knows a few tricks of her own
won't be defeated
in a fight more even than might first appear











damned bug taking the michael. zap! zap! zap! Pew! Pew! Pew!
ok, maybe it's not so much defeat as a rendering its attack null (ha! 12 ) and void, but i can live with popping a few ibuprofen if it means not feeling like something unmentionable.

 

[HarryHill]

i'd feel like a rogue dictator
employing chemical warfare
against an opponent so tiny
it seems criminal to even contemplate
if the guerilla tactics
this miniscule David has adapted
over millennia
weren't so damned effective
everything hurts

this Goliath
knows a few tricks of her own
won't be defeated
in a fight more even than might first appear
..
damned bug taking the michael. zap! zap! zap! Pew! Pew! Pew!
ok, maybe it's not so much defeat as a rendering its attack null (ha! 12 ) and void, but i can live with popping a few ibuprofen if it means not feeling like something unmentionable.

..
reads back, 12?

 

[butters]

..
reads back, 12?

the 'null' reference is to phrases that 12 was talking about - todski might explain it better, my head#s foggy the 'ha!' is puerile, and simply there because i used the word 'null'. that is how foggy my silly head is this evening

 

[UnderYourSpell]

For my Brother ........ losing the fight

He's not in any pain,
he has good pain relief
and for that I'm thankful
because the cancer is all through him now,
but he's really not with us.
He's Ron brother yes
and like my adopted brother
I never had one, only sisters.
I told him today
he's been like a big brother to me
(teasing, obnoxious!) made him smile!
Occasionally through the haze
there's still a glimpse of the old Henry,
the wicked sense of humour
but you can see the fight is getting too hard now.
All his brothers and sisters have been called
to come soon and I expect they will
although Ron and I were the only ones
that bothered before he got sick.

 

[butters]

He's not in any pain,
he has good pain relief
and for that I'm thankful
because the cancer is all through him now,
but he's really not with us.
He's Ron brother yes
and like my adopted brother
I never had one, only sisters.
I told him today
he's been like a big brother to me
(teasing, obnoxious!) made him smile!
Occasionally through the haze
there's still a glimpse of the old Henry,
the wicked sense of humour
but you can see the fight is getting too hard now.
All his brothers and sisters have been called
to come soon and I expect they will
although Ron and I were the only ones
that bothered before he got sick.

i hope his suffering is minimised and not too awfully prolonged.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

i hope his suffering is minimised and not too awfully prolonged.

Thank you, he's had 8 years we never thought he would have, but in the 6 days since we saw him last he's got to a place where he's slipping away ...

 

[HarryHill]

If I could fill a page with whitespace
't would convey my thoughts so well

 

[butters]

so much depends
upon

the yellow
notepad

glazed with
possibilities

between the wide
white spaces

 

[HarryHill]

so much depends
upon

the yellow
notepad

glazed with
possibilities

between the wide
white spaces

Be gone slender slice of blue, stingy green vision
rip winters curtain from the window
rise now you napping ninny
let them drop to the floor!
rise, as you command self

Now silence (except for the commercials that play incessant)
double barreled blast of outside, wind played, then still
hello green, hello blue, you give me such visions
of lawn mowers

 

[butters]

napping ninny

awesome

 

[champagne1982]

Dog Day Afternoon

A world of scent assails my snout
as the volatiles float through air;
Thick with decay and sodden
mould but then the wind returns
the hot smell of burgeoning life
as it stirs in a sphere of sensory
gluttony - colour, taste and odour

- the best of these. I open my mouth.
tongue lolled to one side and pant
to inhale the scent of my pack;
their every emotion writ against
the pheromones of life spilled
freely to the air. Wagging tails

fan delight and wait, there's need
on those currents from down
the block. Yes, it's time
for some to breed

 

[todski28]

A world of scent assails my snout
as the volatiles float through air;
Thick with decay and sodden
mould but then the wind returns
the hot smell of burgeoning life
as it stirs in a sphere of sensory
gluttony - colour, taste and odour

- the best of these. I open my mouth.
tongue lolled to one side and pant
to inhale the scent of my pack;
their every emotion writ against
the pheromones of life spilled
freely to the air. Wagging tails

fan delight and wait, there's need
on those currents from down
the block. Yes, it's time
for some to breed

This I absolutely love

 

[butters]

A world of scent assails my snout
as the volatiles float through air;
Thick with decay and sodden
mould but then the wind returns
the hot smell of burgeoning life
as it stirs in a sphere of sensory
gluttony - colour, taste and odour

- the best of these. I open my mouth.
tongue lolled to one side and pant
to inhale the scent of my pack;
their every emotion writ against
the pheromones of life spilled
freely to the air. Wagging tails

fan delight and wait, there's need
on those currents from down
the block. Yes, it's time
for some to breed

because

you put the reader in the moment, as part of the pack; you bring us down eye to eye with the others, all lolling tongues and waving tails and a riot of scents. it's clever stuff.

 

[butters]

the sad scud of clouds across an ever-decreasing sun
spiralled his thoughts into grey
all grey
and the day had begun
so very well

not everyday
will be sunshine or rainbows
but at least there are wellies
for when things get
a little muddy

 

[butters]

above the houses
an angry drone
circulating
in a star-blank sky
at least
i can't see the stars for the light reflecting
on black glass
the suburban net curtains
and impossible angles

 

[Tsotha]

Fragile
as silence
lost
as sanity
drips, drips, drips
into a warm pool

 

[Tsotha]

wandering, lost
core that gathers
pain, and misery,
rolling downhill,
growing bigger,
bigger still,
breathless deep down,
no longer visible,
or remembered,
breathless
as it speeds into the abyss

dread feeling,
in darkness surrounded
silence, estrangement, indifference
breathless

beaten, it soul-bleeds
it drags itself on its knees
and seeks,
a thing gentle,
to lay its head upon

trust, when it needs most,
trust, why won't it?
trust — to berate, to accuse, to betray

lip sealed,
a self-mutilation
and drip, drip, drip
quench that thirst
and drip, drip, drip
far too red and raw