writing live

[HarryHill]

Fuse has blown
*lectrician's out;
the sound of swearing.

..
*chuckles*

 

[Angeline]

A day is not so difficult
gray clouds sweep back
another time the mountains flame
along the ridge
but ease to green on lower slopes

One day was really difficult
a door opened
and let me tell you hell was real
inside that room
and gray clouds flattened into me

though nothing anyone could see
or hope to know or want to see

This day is nearly over now
the stars are out
it's quiet time a dog might bark
a car pass by
I can't think of a thing to say

but Happy Birthday anyway
yes Happy Birthday anyway

 

[todski28]

A day is not so difficult
gray clouds sweep back
another time the mountains flame
along the ridge
but ease to green on lower slopes

One day was really difficult
a door opened
and let me tell you hell was real
inside that room
and gray clouds flattened into me

though nothing anyone could see
or hope to know or want to see

This day is nearly over now
the stars are out
it's quiet time a dog might bark
a car pass by
I can't think of a thing to say

but Happy Birthday anyway
yes Happy Birthday anyway

WOW! So much emotion it's like a punch in the face

 

[Angeline]

WOW! So much emotion it's like a punch in the face

Thanks. I'm playing with iambs.

 

[HarryHill]

Thought I forgot about you,
hardly; a heart heavy, dull
with so much feeling holds the hand
winds of introspection swirl the leaves of mind
no matter how busy the rake
they are strewn from tidy piles
and at last, I let them lay as they will
mulching the yard in their own time.

 

[butters]

Thought I forgot about you,
hardly; a heart heavy, dull
with so much feeling holds the hand
winds of introspection swirl the leaves of mind
no matter how busy the rake
they are strewn from tidy piles
and at last, I let them lay as they will
mulching the yard in their own time.

and so the worms will feast
turning over the memories
breaking them down into something of value
to be dug over at a later date
harvesting poems




i'd remove that last line of mine. it sucks

 

[HarryHill]

and so the worms will feast
turning over the memories
breaking them down into something of value
to be dug over at a later date
harvesting poems

.....................

3:14
ha ha ha

I know it is not funny
forgetfulness is found in the best of us
but as I set down with pen and faux paper
damned if I know what I'll write.

and so I'm back, and immediately down by five
late in the forth quarter, and I'm fumbling for something to say

You have to love a chicken that says 'Moo'
an udderly(1) fine fowl, found rarely;
if only her eggs are of gold, but I wonder,
does she give milk or merely ovulate.
and if milk, what's the taste of the butter it makes
I'm reaching for something to do.

comments, smithpeter, have you seen them? I don't know what to do; 12 says I've got that infernal/internal alignment working in the last. I once described him to a friend as, a neo formalist in a world of chaos poetry, but I think he may be more of a neo formaless. anyway I should thank him for his comments and for being a good teacher or librarian as it were.
GM said it had a dream like quality. vacation/pilgrimage how insightful.
I wonder how many trips are left in us. Annie's busting buttons, and rightly so; her thread rocks you out of ruts, kicks you in the butt, so thanks.
Tod pm'ed me early this morning, there was a strength in his message and correspondence style that made me think he has stood up, accepted the weight of words on his shoulders.
A9, god bless you my friend, always in my corner no matter thick or thin.
I'm wandering
and forgetting butters and how I wish that name not rhymes with lovers
her words are a light shining on me that throws all those crazy shadows
on a lazy wall during a lightning storm. moo baby
yeah *snaps fingers*

syncopated internal organ
why dost thou beat so low?
the themes not sotto(2) voce
constipated output
logic check
gigo

(1) added to dictionary
(2) didn't check, had trouble with this one before. I pronounce it 'so toe voh say'

So, I'm done; fare you well wherever you are. I see I've gotten off the subject, if there was one.
*forgot to clock out* 5:13

 

[butters]

.....................



and so I'm back, and immediately down by five
late in the forth quarter, and I'm fumbling for something to say

You have to love a chicken that says 'Moo'
an udderly(1) fine fowl, found rarely;
if only her eggs are of gold, but I wonder,
does she give milk or merely ovulate.
and if milk, what's the taste of the butter it makes
I'm reaching for something to do.

comments, smithpeter, have you seen them? I don't know what to do; 12 says I've got that infernal/internal alignment working in the last. I once described him to a friend as, a neo formalist in a world of chaos poetry, but I think he may be more of a neo formaless. anyway I should thank him for his comments and for being a good teacher or librarian as it were.
GM said it had a dream like quality. vacation/pilgrimage how insightful.
I wonder how many trips are left in us. Annie's busting buttons, and rightly so; her thread rocks you out of ruts, kicks you in the butt, so thanks.
Tod pm'ed me early this morning, there was a strength in his message and correspondence style that made me think he has stood up, accepted the weight of words on his shoulders.
A9, god bless you my friend, always in my corner no matter thick or thin.
I'm wandering
and forgetting butters and how I wish that name not rhymes with lovers
her words are a light shining on me that throws all those crazy shadows
on a lazy wall during a lightning storm. moo baby
yeah *snaps fingers*

syncopated internal organ
why dost thou beat so low?
the themes not sotto(2) voce
constipated output
logic check
gigo

(1) added to dictionary
(2) didn't check, had trouble with this one before. I pronounce it 'so toe voh say'

So, I'm done; fare you well wherever you are. I see I've gotten off the subject, if there was one.
*forgot to clock out* 5:13

lays butter pats in the shape of perfect easter eggs, of course

moo baby, yeah . . . LMfreakin'arseoff

 

[HarryHill]

lays butter pats in the shape of perfect easter eggs, of course

moo baby, yeah . . . LMfreakin'arseoff

..
Butter pattycakes, pastel in the grass
the bunny is cluckin Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach
Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Miss Beatrice Shilling's orifice
has never known a man,
but she has experimented with
buzzing phallic appliances.
Only at the entrance you understand,
any more would be a sacrilege
at the sacred altar of her womanhood
saved for 'the one' who never came.

 

[todski28]

*Not what I intended, but where I ended*

Where has all the poetry fled,
into the past where the past is dead?
or rembered vague and hazy
a smokey mirage of what was
not forging into what is of what
could be, bring back questing
originality, parsing not passing
but alas I know little enough on
my own, so I fling a stone of words
into a well and forge
on with the day.

To return later,
stare at a screen to assemble meaning
some leave you breathless in-breathing
wonder how with a similar vocabulary
I could not do the same?
So poetically speaking in this 4am glow
of an I-phone, I am enraptured
by what is captured in the heart
and core of the written
bitten by desire
To fire the mind
With the glory of words.

 

[butters]

*Not what I intended, but where I ended*

Where has all the poetry fled,
into the past where the past is dead?
or rembered vague and hazy
a smokey mirage of what was
not forging into what is of what
could be, bring back questing
originality, parsing not passing
but alas I know little enough on
my own, so I fling a stone of words
into a well and forge
on with the day.

To return later,
stare at a screen to assemble meaning
some leave you breathless in-breathing
wonder how with a similar vocabulary
I could not do the same?
So poetically speaking in this 4am glow
of an I-phone, I am enraptured
by what is captured in the heart
and core of the written
bitten by desire
To fire the mind
With the glory of words.

that's super-solid, tods. strong visual, sensory, auditory

the rest ain't too shoddy, neither but that part, that part is the kicker for me.

 

[HarryHill]

that's super-solid, tods. strong visual, sensory, auditory

the rest ain't too shoddy, neither but that part, that part is the kicker for me.

..
You should submit that one Tod for more reasons than I can write.
..
5:47
..
Miss Beatrice Shilling's orifice,
located two floors above
Bowman's Banged Up Surplus,
contains a beat up desk
dusted daily by the delivery lads.
5:58

 

[todski28]

*see you*

in here I see
you
not your
act
nor your
charade
for the world

I see you
vulnerable
exposed
raw

when you cum
you bite, scratch, claw
raking lines on my back,
run a track of truth
I fit you perfectly
your key,
you release
every time
I pop your lock

 

[sweet_lusciousdesire]

.....................

 

[sweet_lusciousdesire]

................

 

[todski28]

wtf? Is she bolted down?

Guess I didn't look at it in that context

 

[todski28]

ya it shotty and shitty

lol, thanks for the encouragement, it is appreciated

still working on it

 

[butters]

wtf? Is she bolted down?

seems you missed its pitch

ya it shotty and shitty

and there's some point to this comment? it has room for improvement but it's far removed from shitty.

*see you*

in here I see
you
not your
act
nor your
charade
for the world

I see you
vulnerable
exposed
raw

when you cum
you bite, scratch, claw
raking lines on my back,
run a track of truth
I fit you perfectly
your key,
you release
every time
I pop your lock

original ending, tods. like it all, one or two words could be trimmed for improvement but better than a lot of the stuff being published on the main site under the title of 'erotic'. especially like the fact this was a live write. 'grats, man!

 

[sweet_lusciousdesire]

....................

 

[sweet_lusciousdesire]

..........................

 

[bronzeage]

Nothing personal. Like most on here who post rude comments I didn't even read what you wrote. I'm just trying to prove a point. What you wrote is actually good btw.

Not much point in making yourself vunerable to this class act of morons and idiots though.

Babygirl,

There are plenty of poetry forums where everyone's poetry is accepted and showered with plaudits. All you have to do is sign up, make sweet comments on other people's poems and then post a few of your own.

Literotica is not one of those forums. As internet trolls go, poetry trolls are the last picked for basketball.

 

[Angeline]

Babygirl,

There are plenty of poetry forums where everyone's poetry is accepted and showered with plaudits. All you have to do is sign up, make sweet comments on other people's poems and then post a few of your own.

Literotica is not one of those forums. As internet trolls go, poetry trolls are the last picked for basketball.

They never do get it. We're not even trying to play that game. We're just writing.

 

[todski28]

Nothing personal. Like most on here who post rude comments I didn't even read what you wrote. I'm just trying to prove a point. What you wrote is actually good btw.

Not much point in making yourself vunerable to this class act of morons and idiots though.

interesting point, tad odd way to go about it none of the people that have helped me are idiots!

I have had nothing but encouragement, helpful critique and have been taught a lot here, maybe stick around write some work, introduce yourself properly and see where you go, or you can please yourself, I'm happy with the way this place runs

 

[todski28]

seems you missed its pitch


and there's some point to this comment? it has room for improvement but it's far removed from shitty.


original ending, tods. like it all, one or two words could be trimmed for improvement but better than a lot of the stuff being published on the main site under the title of 'erotic'. especially like the fact this was a live write. 'grats, man!

thankyou as always butters, your insights, critiques and praises always make me smile,