Writing exercise - Minimalism

[TheEarl]

Following on from the Objective Correlative thread: https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=310483

Try taking one element of sex or romance or anything Lit-related and paring it down to 5 actions or events. No emotions. No thoughts. No feelings or sensations. Just describe something using nothing but actions and events.

If nothing else, it'll be educational to see what people think the key motions and events of an act are.

Here's my effort:

The catching of eyes.
The tilt of head.
The hesitation as you wait for the moment.
The slow, slow movement towards each other.
The brush of her lips on yours.

The Earl

 

[TheEarl]

Okay then. No-one interested.














Any authors on this site?

<tumbleweed passes through>


The Earl

 

[Guest]

Sorry, dear; I have a great mimimalist fuck scene but just can't post it, too dear to me.

Pear

 

[sweetnpetite]

I'll try this with what I'm working on now

sitting alone after a hot shower wrapped in my silk robe

I flex my legs, letting the pressure of my tensed muscles rub me.

Outside, snow forms layers and piles around my windows.

I have slippers on, and a mug of hot cocoa with marsh mellows slowly melting on the surface.

I hum softly to myself, the tune to “Walkin’ In a Winter Wonderland.”

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Okay then. No-one interested.
















Any authors on this site?

<tumbleweed passes through>


The Earl

shhhhhhhhh....thinking

 

[Celtic Princess]

His warm hand covers hers across the table.
Her eyes heat and meet his.
His gaze settles on her plump lips.
Her bare foot caresses his thigh, out of sight.
She licks her lips in a blatant suggestion.

 

[sweetnpetite]

what it originally said:

I am sitting alone after a long steamy shower, wrapped in my silk robe and enjoying the feeling of being refreshed. I feel a familiar tingling between my legs, but I resist the urge to touch myself. Instead I simply savor the pleasant feelings. I flex my legs, letting the pressure of my tensed muscles rub me in all the right ways.

I have slippers on, and a mug of hot cocoa with marsh mellows slowly melting on the surface. Outside, snow forms layers and piles around my windows, but in here all is cozy and warm. I hum softly to myself, the tune to “Walkin’ In a Winter Wonderland.”

the next two para's- I have no idea how to rewrite without feelings or thoughts.

The phone rings. It is you. You’re usually strong and sexy voice is cracked and full of tears. You’re heart has been breaking for such a long time, still the loneliness never fails to get to you. “No one here but me and my old friends Jack and Jose,” you say, attempting to make a joke. My heart breaks with your pain.

“What a coincidence,” I counter. “I’m all alone here with several empty shot glasses.”


but then, this peice is turning out to be a very emotional one. Not a good project for minimalism.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

He lowers his head;
Closes his eyes;
Breathes in deeply;
Opens his eyes again and sees she's gone;
A tear rolls down his cheek.

It's the best I could do, of course, I didn't think long on it either, so...

Q_C

 

[sweetnpetite]

Following on from the Objective Correlative thread: https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=310483

Try taking one element of sex or romance or anything Lit-related and paring it down to 5 actions or events. No emotions. No thoughts. No feelings or sensations. Just describe something using nothing but actions and events.

If nothing else, it'll be educational to see what people think the key motions and events of an act are.

Here's my effort:

The catching of eyes.
The tilt of head.
The hesitation as you wait for the moment.
The slow, slow movement towards each other.
The brush of her lips on yours.

The Earl

This was good, gave me a little shiver.

However, there is always a danger of ending up with a "they did this and then they did that" kind of story.

I don't think it's that no one is interested. It's just really damn hard!

 

[carsonshepherd]

Tried to do this in my story Spark. It's in my sig line if anyone's interested <hint>

 

[NoJo]

Birth

(stuff goes here)

Death

 

[Guest]

Birth

(stuff goes here)

Death

Hey, you've been reading Beckett. P.

 

[yui]

Shaking hands touch sweating skin.
Breathe shallow breaths.
Eyes close.
Thighs quiver, tighten.
Lights spark behind my eyes.


Sorry! I tried. I suck at this sort of thing.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Oh, sod it.

Sorry, didn't like what I posted.

I'm having one of those nights where everything I've ever written looks like garbage.

Fit of despair, or moment of lucidity? Anyone's guess.

Shanglan

 

[BlackShanglan]

Hey, you've been reading Beckett. P.

My thoughts exactly

 

[carsonshepherd]

Yes.

I won't let him say it with his mouth. Only with his touch. His body melting into mine until we're a shaking mass of the edge of the hotel bed. We haven't even undressed yet; all we've done is made out and already hot waves rush over me. His scent, sexy and innocent like sugar cookies, overwhelms me.

Is that minimalist? Compared to my usual it is.

 

[yui]

Is that minimalist? Compared to my usual it is.

"His scent, sexy and innocent like sugar cookies, overwhelms me." I love this image, it's so evocative.

 

[BlackShanglan]

"Come on." His voice was low and coaxing.

She sighed and pulled the shirt over her head. He put his hands on her breasts. He moved to kiss her, but she turned her head.

"Go on."

He shrugged and began to suck at her tits. She let her arms hang awkwardly and stared at the wall behind him.

 

[neonlyte]

"Is that it?"

"It's all there is."

"It's not enough."

Groaning bedsprings betrayed movement.

"Leaving me?" His words whispered like promises in a breeze.

 

[yui]

Oh, sod it.

Sorry, didn't like what I posted.

I'm having one of those nights where everything I've ever written looks like garbage.

Fit of despair, or moment of lucidity? Anyone's guess.

Shanglan

I suck at feedback (largely because I gush and get all breathless with adoration), but I have yet to see you produce "garbage." In fact, I don't even think you could write "mediocre." You're just frighteningly good.

 

[BlackShanglan]

*nuzzle*

Thanks, Yui.

I'd disillusion you with this draft, but God knows I don't want anyone else suffering through it when it's in this state. But it's good to have a little "buck up."

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

*nuzzle*

Thanks, Yui.

I'd disillusion you with this draft, but God knows I don't want anyone else suffering through it when it's in this state. But it's good to have a little "buck up."

Shanglan

What's wrong, babes? *kissykiss*

 

[Xelebes]

There are other types of minimalism - each focusing on different aspects. Since we are focusing on brevity here, I shall chip in. (pun intended)



Wine pouring out of the bottle

Candlelight flicker

Disrobed humans

One of each kind

Embroiled in nature's task

Nipping, tucking, pulling, pushing

Taking the time to relief

Wine pouring out of the wine bottle







Now, this is one type of minimalism while hard to get anything good, getting anything is good enough. Though brevity is not the only type of minimalism out there. Of course, to investigate them would not be very minimalist of me now would it?

 

[doormouse]

Okay then. No-one interested.














Any authors on this site?

<tumbleweed passes through>


The Earl

Ouch!!! That tumbleweed hit me... I hope you're insured

 

[gauchecritic]

Equus

Blank screen.
Blank stare.
Hands like hooves.
uncatchable flutterby thoughts.
Press hard on 'Delete'.