Writing Challenge ~ September 2013 ~ Comments and Reviews

[Britwitch]

WRITING CHALLENGE REVIEW THREAD ~ SEPTEMBER 2013​

Just a few little rules for this thread:-

• This thread is for comments and reviews only. Submissions go here!

• Please keep your comments focused on the pieces posted for the challenge running from 13th September – 29th September 2013 only, this is not really intended to be a thread for conversation/flirting/mayhem and so on (Sorry to be a bore!). Writers should be able to find reviews/comments for their pieces without having to trawl through pages of banter (no matter how amusing/sexy it might be!)

• Readers/Reviewers:- Please keep your comments and reviews polite and, wherever possible, positive. If you have constructive criticism or advice for writers please do give it but be polite about it! You don’t have to like everything you read but if you really don’t have anything nice to say about something then I would suggest you refrain from posting. And if all you want to say is you liked a piece and no more…that’s great too! We all know how writers like to be appreciated!

• Authors:- Please take constructive criticism as it is intended, as an attempt at improving possible flaws/problems/areas of confusion in your piece. They are not (hopefully!) personal attacks on you or your work.

• This is supposed to be a fun way to get to know new writers and potential partners, to exercise our writing brains, it’s not a competition, please keep that in mind!

• One more thing…suggestions for future prompts are very welcome and should be PM’d to me – Britwitch – as a link ideally.

Previous challenges and reviews can be found here.

Happy reading!

 

[Britwitch]

Marauder13 ~ giggles Very clever Mr Marauder and the prompts had something of an Autumn theme, what they inspire? That can be about anything! winks
Always great to see you writing here! That was a lovely little snippet. Must admit to being rather curious about Lord Alexander myself.

 

[marauder13]

Marauder13 ~ giggles Very clever Mr Marauder and the prompts had something of an Autumn theme, what they inspire? That can be about anything! winks
Always great to see you writing here! That was a lovely little snippet. Must admit to being rather curious about Lord Alexander myself.

I saw the first prompt, and the image that came to mind was a young nobleman on the run for being a naughty boy. It was later that I saw the Autumn theme, but the idea had stuck by then.

But what are you curious about with Lord Alexander?

 

[Vailyn]

=D I wanted to join in the fun but I had no inspiration to jump from until I read Marauder13's story.

Thanks to Marauder13 for letting me bounce off his fun tale!

Hopefully mine does not detract.

Wee~~ Cool idea, Britwitch.

 

[Miss_Vivi]

M13- Brilliant as always, it took me a minute to figure out where you were headed, but once I caught the thread.. it was wonderful.

Vailyn- Nice, but watch being repetitive with your language, you mentioned that Lady Amelia was your friend, twice and your reader may not need the reminder. Other than that, it was nice to see that you took M13's idea and ran with it.

Bubbles- Amazing, as always. Also, you're evil. But this isn't news. And since I won the bet.. bend over.. I owe you two swats.

 

[Britwitch]

Vailyn ~ Nice idea to continue, or write to accompany, M13's piece. The language fitted the era you were depicting very well but I'd maybe pare it down slightly. But that's just me.

fr33k ~ I just love the depth of your language. There's an epic tone that's so smoothly written, it doesn't come across as words for words' sake. Love it!

Scuttles ~ Seriously good. Not that it'd really be anything else to be frank. I loved that they were older, I loved that there was history there. It was a great idea and extremely well written.

Vivi ~ This was fun and different and a brilliant use of the prompt!

 

[Scuttle Buttin']

Thanks, both of you! I appreciate it.

 

[Britwitch]

I've been struggling with this for days now...
Bubblebutts piece is too rapey for me.

(I know thats not his intent...but I had to say it)

Each to their own. As is the nature of everything.

Did you enjoy any of the others...?

 

[Scuttle Buttin']

I've been struggling with this for days now...
Bubblebutts piece is too rapey for me.

I know that finding things I've written that are "rapey" isn't hard to do, but this?

"I'll make you a deal, Christine," he said then, and for the first time he moved forward, stepping onto the grass. Leaves crunched underfoot as he approached until he was quite close, entirely invading her space, "You tell me that he uses you the way you need to be used, and I'll go. You'll never hear from me again. Tell me he knows what a needy, depraved slut his pretty little wife is. Tell me he bruises you, and makes you want more."

His hands were still in his pockets as he leaned forward, his lips moving close to her ear where he whispered to her.

"Tell me your cunt belongs to him, and not to me, and I'll leave without you."

She isn't forced, and he quite clearly says, twice, that he'll leave without her, for good, if she tells him to. I guess I just don't know where the "rapey" comes in. He doesn't threaten her, except once she has agreed to come with him... he doesn't even touch her.

 

[thestruggle]

I thought Ruffles did a good job with that piece. It seemed pretty D/s-ey to me but I guess that's coming from a place where I can identify with that particular fantasy. So yeah, Brit has a point, everyone's got their opinion. I do think, however, that specific scenario really had an air of consent to it.

In addition, I thought that Fr33k/Mr. Teddy Bear did wonderfully with his piece. You have such a way with words, and "verdant" is a word that doesn't get used often enough. I really enjoyed it, for all it was not long, but it said quite a lot for the length.

Vivi, I am terrified of zombies and thus your piece simultaneously inspired several zombie story ideas and made me want to bring my feet up onto the couch so no lurking zombies could snatch at my ankle. What? Don't anyone of you pretend like you haven't been there before. Very nice, gorgeous.

Brit, your submission was lovely. You have this fantastic grasp of romance and command that I envy, and you paint a great picture of passion here. Thank you for sharing this, I liked it a lot.

Vailyn, I haven't read much of your work yet - time hates me! - but I plan to after viewing your piece. I can tell that you have a gift for story-weaving and I'm looking forward to seeing more!

 

[Scuttle Buttin']

Well, I get a distinct sense of 'no' from her that he pushes against.
ANd then this bit was what hit the button for me:

"You have three minutes. If you're not in my car in three minutes, then I'm coming in after you. I don't care how you explain to your husband, but doing so is going to be much harder when your neighbors have seen you pulled out of your house by your hair, won't it?"

Again, as Brit says, to each their own. I'm sure I've written similar stuff.

Did she say no to that?

 

[Scuttle Buttin']

Thats not the point.

Of course it is. Perhaps you are reading into it things that are not there. I think it was pretty clear what was going on there, and multiple people have said as much. If it's not your thing, you don't like the way I wrote, whatever, I can fully understand that. Calling it "rapey" is just baseless, though. There was no lack of consent, explicit or implied.

 

[Scuttle Buttin']

A threat is a threat.
shrug

Oh stop. You know full well threats like that, and others, exist in D/s relationships. That was clearly not a stranger off the street.

 

[Scuttle Buttin']

And on that we disagree.
shrug

And if Vivi, or Brit, or Tess, or Alice, or Dream write it instead of me, do you still disagree? I doubt that.

It's not that I don't want criticism, or that I've never written anything involving rape.. I'm doing exactly that, and far worse than this, in the Dreamatorium right now.. it's simply that this seems to have more to do with who wrote it than what was written.

 

[Britwitch]

Look, I read something different than what you believed you wrote, or intended to write.
But I don't think that my interpretation is baseless.

Writing in public is a dialog. The intent, the text, and the reading all matter.

True.
However.

My thread. My rules.

It clearly states you don't have to like everything written but if you've nothing constructive or positive to say, please refrain from posting.
It feels like you came in to comment just for the sake of it and then to go on and say you didn't particularly find anything else of interest this month seems just as petty.

You're entitled to your opinions. I'm not saying you're not. But I did ask that this thread and these challenges remain places where people can express themselves freely - without the need to please everyone or meet certain expectations - goodness knows as writers we place enough expectations on ourselves as it is!

You read it, Vail, you didn't like. Fair enough. I think this 'debate' has gone on enough now.

 

[Britwitch]

In what way is my offering actual discussion about the work petty?
This is what jumped out at me.

But whatever.

I'll PM you.
I don't want other people put off commenting on this and other pieces by continuing this 'discussion'.

 

[SortOfBeautiful]

I think what's failing to be done is that perhaps you had read it as your own point of view and opinion, rather than Christine's.

He didn't touch her. She gave in, not because she was 'threatened', but because he knew her better than she knew herself.

I'm ready for the sequel.

 

[Miss_Vivi]

I think that Vail has a point, (that she's delivering in a dreadful way, btw) but the implied consent, and explicit consent in D/s scenes. It's hard to parse out because of the power dynamics between two people.

I respect that she saw "rapey", and Bubbles didn't.

However, in much of this while the opinion of the reader makes a difference, it's the intention of the writer that has the final say. It is however something that Bubbles can watch for in the future.