Writing Challenge ~ 15th - 29th April 2011 ~ Reviews and Comments

[Britwitch]

WRITING CHALLENGE REVIEW THREAD ~ APRIL 2011 ~ PART TWO​

Just a few little rules for this thread:-

• This thread is for comments and reviews only. Submissions go here!

• Please keep your comments focused on the pieces posted for the challenge running from 15th – 29th April 2011 only, this is not really intended to be a thread for conversation/flirting/mayhem and so on (Sorry to be a bore!). Writers should be able to find reviews/comments for their pieces without having to trawl through pages of banter (no matter how amusing/sexy it might be!)

• Readers/Reviewers:- Please keep your comments and reviews polite and, wherever possible, positive. If you have constructive criticism or advice for writers please do give it but be polite about it! You don’t have to like everything you read but if you really don’t have anything nice to say about something then I would suggest you refrain from posting. And if all you want to say is you liked a piece and no more…that’s great too! We all know how writers like to be appreciated!

• Authors:- Please take constructive criticism as it is intended, as an attempt at improving possible flaws/problems/areas of confusion in your piece. They are not (hopefully!) personal attacks on you or your work.

• This is supposed to be a fun way to get to know new writers and potential partners, to exercise our writing brains, it’s not a competition, please keep that in mind!

• One more thing…suggestions for future prompts are very welcome and should be PM’d to me – Britwitch – as a link ideally.

Previous challenges and reviews can be found here.

Happy reading!

 

[fr33ks33k]

Marauder, that piece was so vibrant...I enjoyed all the imagery you used. The struggle of Adrianna to reach the surface and find her feet on the sand was particularly moving. The only thing that did leave me with an odd feeling was the name choice; Adrian and Adrianna, I'm not sure what the similarity means...but I suppose it isn't necessarily important.

Overall, a very well-written work. Great first post for the challenge; sets the bar high, for those who like to compare skills. *chuckle*

 

[marauder13]

Marauder, that piece was so vibrant...I enjoyed all the imagery you used. The struggle of Adrianna to reach the surface and find her feet on the sand was particularly moving. The only thing that did leave me with an odd feeling was the name choice; Adrian and Adrianna, I'm not sure what the similarity means...but I suppose it isn't necessarily important.

Overall, a very well-written work. Great first post for the challenge; sets the bar high, for those who like to compare skills. *chuckle*

Thank you. I knew exactly what I wanted to write the moment I opened the post for Brit's writing challenge. It fitted a theme that I am very familiar with, and it just flowed out of me.

The choice of names was an afterthought. I wrote the main piece concerning Adrianna, which was the name that seemed to fit the image. Adrian is one of a stock of developed characters that I have, and this piece was something that he is very familiar with. Only after I posted did I realize the similarity of the names. Purely coincidence.

 

[Britwitch]

Awakening ~ marauder13

Superb, absolutely superb. Loved every word.

Only one tiny point, I think you meant to write 'Adrianna gasped. She blinked her eyes...' after the mirror breaks

So glad this was a prompt that tempted you As fr33k said, definitely set the bar high for this challenge for those inclined to compare!


Mine ~ DarkWarrioress

Another amazing piece. I really enjoyed reading this piece. Very well written and with a really effective supernatural air to it that was creepy rather than cliche. Loved it!

(Btw, really enjoyed your piece in the previous challenge too, apologies for not managing to write a proper review for you!! )

 

[DarkWarrioress]

..........Mine ~ DarkWarrioress

Another amazing piece. I really enjoyed reading this piece. Very well written and with a really effective supernatural air to it that was creepy rather than cliche. Loved it!

(Btw, really enjoyed your piece in the previous challenge too, apologies for not managing to write a proper review for you!! )

Thank you, Milady Britwitch. No apologies needed. I'm easily overlooked....now and then. This new challenge wouldn't let me sleep until I got it all on paper and even then, I had to edit to make the word limit. So, thank you for putting it up.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

marauder13 ~ Awakening

Loved it. I went back and reread it three times, just to catch everything and let it all soak in. I easily saw the images you painted. You had me going with Adrian. At first, I thought something quite different was coming.

Well done.

(And my apologies to the writers of the last challenge. I truly meant to say something here about you all. Time got away from me, unfortunately. All of you are such talented writers. I look forward to seeing your writings again.)

 

[Last_Rider]

Awakening - Marauder13

I'm totally in awe. For the first submission of this prompt to be so good, makes me almost hesitant to dredge something from my subconscious to post. Your imagery, the visceral blend of description and her thoughts, the subtle ways you hint at her life before and the reaction she has afterward, there is nothing at all I could complain about. Brit mentioned the one spelling flub, but it didn't take me out of the story at all. Superb work.

Mine - DarkWarrioress

Obsession stories seem prevalent here(I wonder what that says about us?) but this was very well done. The old lady was creepy, and the mysticism element seemed to fit quite nicely. The one thing I might have done a bit differently was her internal dialogue during her conversation with the other two could be a bit more unbalanced/psychotic to foreshadow a bit more what would come. However, I know you had to edit, plus my mind is just bent a little towards the crazy and that was just me personally. Well done, definitely.

 

[marauder13]

DarkWarrioress ~ Mine

I will admit to having two different outcomes in mind as I got to the end of the piece, one of which you finished with. I liked the way you quickly painted Amanda's view of the world, which gave me a good insight as to what was going on her her. It also left me wondering what the old woman was going to do with the drop of blood, as well as the associated fallout over her sister's disappearance.

Personally, I think that is a tale worthy of expansion, and if you do, I will definitely want to read more.

marauder13 ~ Awakening

Loved it. I went back and reread it three times, just to catch everything and let it all soak in. I easily saw the images you painted. You had me going with Adrian. At first, I thought something quite different was coming.

Well done.

Thank you very much, DarkWarrioress. I will admit to being a sucker for twists, but I decided to keep it straight forward. As I said to fr33k, Adrian is a character who's been around for a while, about 15 years now that I stop and think about it, and for him to behave differently to what was presented would have been wrong, not that the readers would have noticed.

Awakening - Marauder13

I'm totally in awe. For the first submission of this prompt to be so good, makes me almost hesitant to dredge something from my subconscious to post. Your imagery, the visceral blend of description and her thoughts, the subtle ways you hint at her life before and the reaction she has afterward, there is nothing at all I could complain about. Brit mentioned the one spelling flub, but it didn't take me out of the story at all. Superb work.

Rider, please don't let my contribution stop you from adding a piece. While the image inspired me quickly, my challenge was trying to show how her life was before and after. Coming up the right descriptions for the before segment was the hardest part for me. But I was happy with the result, and I am happy to know that it was effective.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

DarkWarrioress ~ Mine

I will admit to having two different outcomes in mind as I got to the end of the piece, one of which you finished with. I liked the way you quickly painted Amanda's view of the world, which gave me a good insight as to what was going on her her. It also left me wondering what the old woman was going to do with the drop of blood, as well as the associated fallout over her sister's disappearance.

Personally, I think that is a tale worthy of expansion, and if you do, I will definitely want to read more.....

I was hoping for that effect! Thank you so much. I have in mind that there will be more of the Old Crone...somewhere.... sometime As for Danielle...

and please, call me DW or Cait.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

wideeyedone ~untitled~ The power of a single word. Thank you for sharing this. I will admit, it's not my forte but definitely appreciated. I found it haunting.

Fr33k ~Beyond Blue Eyes~ Again, I am impressed not surprised, but impressed. I get a host of "flavors" on my tongue in regards to human emotions. You make me feel the emotions you write about. Thank you.

 

[fddb410]

Wow...

I am so glad I was preoccupied in R/L and didn’t have the time to read the submissions to this challenge for I doubt if I’d been able to write my own or post one. You are all wonderfully gifted writers and you’ve set very high standards for the rest of us.

Awakening - marauder13

Marauder . . . you had me totally into Adriana’s story from the first sentence. I was with her mentally and physically. My body literally responded to the incredible imagery of your piece. I was simply superbly written.

Mine - DarkWarrioress

Miss Warrioress you’ve written another wonderful piece. Your imagery was simply wonderful and totally believable which given the supernatural quality of it has me grinning even now having said that. Maybe I’m saying more about me than I should but I really enjoyed the old woman and the ending. I was totally there with her.

Untitled - wideeyedone

Wideeyedone in nine simple words you total a story and painted a story. I don’t know how you did it in that form, I never could have nor could too many others I know, but you did it beautifully. Wow.

Beyond Blue Eyes - Fr33k

Fr33k your piece had me focusing on each word and phrase. You’ve captured so many human emotions and human thoughts in your four paragraphs. It reminded me of a fabled conversation of a dark character in front of another mirror. In the conversation back from your mirror to the subject of your piece I found darkness, despair and hope . . . and I just think it was beautifully done.

 

[Rayne_Clowd]

Wow I only took a moment to skim I will confess but what great submissions and Brit what an awesome idea for a thread. I do hope there will be a May challenge.

 

[Britwitch]

Just to let you know, this challenge is now closed for new entries. Thanks to all who joined in!
Please do continue to review and discuss the entries submitted so far though...

The next challenge will be up very very shortly! (Apologies for the slight delay...big holiday weekend here so was 'distracted' )

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