Writer's Challenge

[Gaia_Lorraine]

Ok Ladies, so maybe you could provide me with some constructive cricism about the story?

What parts didn't you like?

What parts did you like? Aside from the fact that (A) It's romantic and (B) It doesn't have the boring gratiuitous Tab A in Slot B sex scene.

Me? I don't do negatives in this thread

 

[Sienna]

Me? I don't do negatives in this thread

LOL!

 

[Gaia_Lorraine]

Sadly I must leave you all for tonight
I really do not want to get up at 6 am in the morning but I must to pay the bills
But always remember... Every writer has a story to tell

 

[Sienna]

Sadly I must leave you all for tonight
I really do not want to get up at 6 am in the morning but I must to pay the bills
But always remember... Every writer has a story to tell

((( LORRAINE )))

Take care...

 

[Gaia_Lorraine]

((( LORRAINE )))

Take care...

(((SIENNA)))

And you also

 

[Gaia_Lorraine]

Good evening everyone
Hopefully the pensive pen pushers are busy rising to the writers challenge

 

[Nightbird]

Good evening Ma'am. Sorry I left so abruptly last night.

 

[Gaia_Lorraine]

Good evening Ma'am. Sorry I left so abruptly last night.

I think I may have left before you as I had to be up early this morning
How was the card game btw?

 

[Nightbird]

The card game didn't happen, due to some unforseen circumstances.

And I must beg your pardon Ma'am as my Hot Dogs are cooked. I shall return shortly.

I think I may have left before you as I had to be up early this morning
How was the card game btw?

 

[Gaia_Lorraine]

The card game didn't happen, due to some unforseen circumstances.

And I must beg your pardon Ma'am as my Hot Dogs are cooked. I shall return shortly.

Not a problem, I won't be straying far from my keyboard for the next few hours.
Don't forget the mustard

 

[Nightbird]

Mustard, Ketchup, Relish.. It was yummy

 

[Gaia_Lorraine]

Should the SIGHT challenge go to a voting poll?
There is no hard and fast rule or mathematical formula for what I am about to suggest but I feel that a number must be placed on it.
For diversity of style and approach my instinct tells me that a minimum of ten submissions is required to warrant a poll.
So please, anyone who feels they can contribute in their own distinctive way I ask you to do so. LIT is full of good writers and a brimful of avid readers eager to experience the variety of styles based on a common, yet abstract, subject.

 

[wyckdwench]

Two questions. I saw the deadline for the sight challenged is past. Does tha mean it is closed now? If you didn't enter a submission for that can you still do the others and when is the next one?

 

[Nightbird]

Lorraine what do you mean go to a poll? To pick a winner you mean?

 

[Gaia_Lorraine]

Two questions. I saw the deadline for the sight challenged is past. Does tha mean it is closed now? If you didn't enter a submission for that can you still do the others and when is the next one?

The deadline is 31st January 2006, you are still on target

From then on the last day of each month is the closing date for each the remaining senses in turn.
The poll will then be open for that month's submissions. In other words, this will last for five months, the last day of May will be the close.
Late entries are more than welcome but they must contribute to all the previous senses, no cop out here we are all in it for the full run
Late entries will, of course, miss the chance of being submitted to the poll.

 

[wyckdwench]

Windows

I have heard that eyes are the windows to the soul.
If that is the case I am certain mine are closed or clouded.
At times it feels as though my soul must be dark or bleak.

Then I see the sun or my child's smile and all is bright again.
Its amazing how the one spin of the Earth's axis can change prespectives.
The new day dawns and those windows are open and clean once more.

But you, you have looked into my eyes and into my heart.
How is it that you have not seen the dark despair that reigns within?
You have been there, held me and yet you didn't see?

How could you miss the tattered remains of the child's soul?
A child so strong and independent but so blissfully unaware.
Innocence stolen and the promises of what could have been gone.

She's still there you know ~ the child with the tattered soul.
If you look into my eyes you will see her reaching out for your hand.
She's always by the windows hoping someone will see her.

A vigil she has walked for many years inside by those windows.
The windows to my very tattered soul ~ at times so dark and bleak.
Innocence shattered and promise stolen but still within.

Look into my eyes and see her, reach out to her.
Promise her you will protect her and hold her forever more.
No more pain will she face alone and unsure.

Tell her its okay to hurt, to cry and to want to be held.
Swear that she can trust you and you will not fail her.
Be there for her when she needs to see you, hear you.

Take her in your arms and hold on tight even if she tries to go.
For in her eyes is the pain you see when you look into mine.
Her eyes are the true windows to my soul.

(c) 2006 wyckdwench

 

[Gaia_Lorraine]

Windows

I have heard that eyes are the windows to the soul.
If that is the case I am certain mine are closed or clouded.
At times it feels as though my soul must be dark or bleak.

Then I see the sun or my child's smile and all is bright again.
Its amazing how the one spin of the Earth's axis can change prespectives.
The new day dawns and those windows are open and clean once more.

But you, you have looked into my eyes and into my heart.
How is it that you have not seen the dark despair that reigns within?
You have been there, held me and yet you didn't see?

How could you miss the tattered remains of the child's soul?
A child so strong and independent but so blissfully unaware.
Innocence stolen and the promises of what could have been gone.

She's still there you know ~ the child with the tattered soul.
If you look into my eyes you will see her reaching out for your hand.
She's always by the windows hoping someone will see her.

A vigil she has walked for many years inside by those windows.
The windows to my very tattered soul ~ at times so dark and bleak.
Innocence shattered and promise stolen but still within.

Look into my eyes and see her, reach out to her.
Promise her you will protect her and hold her forever more.
No more pain will she face alone and unsure.

Tell her its okay to hurt, to cry and to want to be held.
Swear that she can trust you and you will not fail her.
Be there for her when she needs to see you, hear you.

Take her in your arms and hold on tight even if she tries to go.
For in her eyes is the pain you see when you look into mine.
Her eyes are the true windows to my soul.

(c) 2006 wyckdwench

What can I say? You have a true talent wckydwench. A sincere thank you for allowing me to read such beautiful words

 

[wyckdwench]

What can I say? You have a true talent wckydwench. A sincere thank you for allowing me to read such beautiful words

Thank you, you are too kind. I just write what I know.

 

[Stryderthorongil]

Windows

I have heard that eyes are the windows to the soul.
If that is the case I am certain mine are closed or clouded.
At times it feels as though my soul must be dark or bleak.

Then I see the sun or my child's smile and all is bright again.
Its amazing how the one spin of the Earth's axis can change prespectives.
The new day dawns and those windows are open and clean once more.

But you, you have looked into my eyes and into my heart.
How is it that you have not seen the dark despair that reigns within?
You have been there, held me and yet you didn't see?

How could you miss the tattered remains of the child's soul?
A child so strong and independent but so blissfully unaware.
Innocence stolen and the promises of what could have been gone.

She's still there you know ~ the child with the tattered soul.
If you look into my eyes you will see her reaching out for your hand.
She's always by the windows hoping someone will see her.

A vigil she has walked for many years inside by those windows.
The windows to my very tattered soul ~ at times so dark and bleak.
Innocence shattered and promise stolen but still within.

Look into my eyes and see her, reach out to her.
Promise her you will protect her and hold her forever more.
No more pain will she face alone and unsure.

Tell her its okay to hurt, to cry and to want to be held.
Swear that she can trust you and you will not fail her.
Be there for her when she needs to see you, hear you.

Take her in your arms and hold on tight even if she tries to go.
For in her eyes is the pain you see when you look into mine.
Her eyes are the true windows to my soul.

(c) 2006 wyckdwench

Thank you for sharing WW. Very insightful.

 

[wyckdwench]

Thank you for sharing WW. Very insightful.

You are welcome. Thank you for the praise and the time you took to read it. I am glad there is a place we can try our wings.

 

[MzLady]

Some really wonderful submissions already. Hoping the 700+ 'viewers' checking out the challenge decide to contribute too

 

[Gaia_Lorraine]

Some really wonderful submissions already. Hoping the 700+ 'viewers' checking out the challenge decide to contribute too

Wouldn't that would be truly fantastic MzLady?
Fingers crossed

 

[Gaia_Lorraine]

Six submissions so far to date and still 25 days remaining before the close of the first of the 5 senses challenges.
Only four more submissions to go and a poll will be created.
Come on LIT, you can do it

We have five senses -:

- Sight
- Hearing
- Touch
- Taste
- Smell

The first challenge is to write a short story or a poem based on the first of these senses...

SIGHT.

Deadline 31st Jan 2006.

 

[oralyfix8d]

Alright, I will give this a try. Please be gentle, it's been a long time.


As I open my eyes for the first time this day,
They are filled with your beauty,
Taking in every detail of your face,
Burning them into my soul forever.

As I open my eyes for the first time this day,
They are filled with the hope,
That every day they will open,
To that same vision of grace.

As I open my eyes for the first time this day,
They are filled by the love,
That I can see clearly,
Reflected in your own.

As I open my eyes for the first time this day,
They are filled with tears,
From the joy of knowing,
We will be together forever

 

[Sienna]

Alright, I will give this a try. Please be gentle, it's been a long time.


As I open my eyes for the first time this day,
They are filled with your beauty,
Taking in every detail of your face,
Burning them into my soul forever.

As I open my eyes for the first time this day,
They are filled with the hope,
That every day they will open,
To that same vision of grace.

As I open my eyes for the first time this day,
They are filled by the love,
That I can see clearly,
Reflected in your own.

As I open my eyes for the first time this day,
They are filled with tears,
From the joy of knowing,
We will be together forever

Beautiful

Thankyou oralyfix8d