Write a POEM about your OWN PLUG

[shereads]

Here on clean, crisp sheets I lie

And when they finally pull the plug

Surely I will die.

Not so fast. You live in Florida, right?

 

[NoJo]

Of all the words that rhyme with "plug"
My favorite must be "jitterbug".

 

[Blackie Malone]

Ode to the Plug in the Bathtub Drain

~ by shereads

Oh, thing that keeps the water in
If only you could think!
When I ran barefoot to the den
To get my book and drink,
I tripped and bonked my noggin
And lay stunned upon the floor,
And woke to Mister Bubble creeping 'neath the bathroom door.
Alas! My stalwart drain-plug friend of shiny-plated zinc,
You let the goddam bathtub water overflow the brink.

You suck.

I can only pray to the Gods of inferiority complexes and neurosis that I will be lucky enough to one day be in the same ward as Sher...she gets my first potholder.

 

[Guest]

Ahoy!

 

[shereads]

Paying the Pipester

Today the plumber came and came.
We lingered near the sink
And played a naughty housewife game.
(He likes me too, I think.)

His hourly rate is awfully steep
To please demanding wenches
But workmanship does not come cheap.
And what a set of wrenches!

He plugged the leak and reamed the drain
And left, to my great sorrow.
Oops! I've plugged it up again.
I hope he'll come tomorrow.

 

[NoJo]

That's beautiful, and very funny. I'm going to hound you until you submit it.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Someone on this board has a boyfriend who's a plumber!

 

[shereads]

Someone on this board has a boyfriend who's a plumber!

Can you get in touch with him?

 

[carsonshepherd]

Can you get in touch with him?

He'll fix your pipes up good, baby.

 

[NoJo]

Does his ass crack ever show?

 

[carsonshepherd]

Only when his pants are off.

 

[shereads]

I can only pray to the Gods of inferiority complexes and neurosis that I will be lucky enough to one day be in the same ward as Sher...she gets my first potholder.

Oh, right. Like I believe you're a potholder virgin.

 

[shereads]

Pipester II

Paying the Pipester

Today the plumber came and came.
We lingered near the sink
And played a naughty housewife game.
(He likes me too, I think.)

His hourly rate is awfully steep
To please demanding wenches
But workmanship does not come cheap.
And what a set of wrenches!

He plugged the leak and reamed the drain
And left, to my great sorrow.
Oops! I've plugged it up again.
I hope he'll come tomorrow.

Oh, plumber with your tools so hard!
Your plunger makes me giddy.
I only wish your stern regard
Looked less like Gordon Liddy.

My bank account is getting thin
At ninety-eight an hour.
I don't mind paying for my sin
But do repair the shower.