Write a POEM about your OWN PLUG

[shereads]

Ode to the Plug in the Bathtub Drain

~ by shereads

Oh, thing that keeps the water in
If only you could think!
When I ran barefoot to the den
To get my book and drink,
I tripped and bonked my noggin
And lay stunned upon the floor,
And woke to Mister Bubble creeping 'neath the bathroom door.
Alas! My stalwart drain-plug friend of shiny-plated zinc,
You let the goddam bathtub water overflow the brink.

You suck.

 

[shereads]

< bracing myself for the flood of posts >

 

[OhMissScarlett]

where the fuck are you
when I am going down the drain?
never fit in the first place
cold shower sidesteps bring no answer
break my nails to find
prevention

 

[shereads]

where the fuck are you
when I am going down the drain?
never fit in the first place
cold shower sidesteps bring no answer
break my nails to find
prevention

Drat.

Until now, I was a shoo-in for Readers' Choice 2006 in the new poetry category, Really Really Non-Erotic (Plumbing/Household Maintenance).

 

[mismused]

Ode to the Plug in the Bathtub Drain

~ by shereads

Oh, thing that keeps the water in
If only you could think!
While I ran barefoot to the den
To get my book and drink,
I tripped and bonked my noggin
And lay stunned upon the floor,
And woke to Mister Bubble creeping 'neath the bathroom door.
Alas! My stalwart drain-plug friend of shiny-plated zinc,
You let the goddam bathtub water overflow the brink.

You suck.

====================================================

That definitely gets a five (5).l

Warm, sexy naked scene, erotic as can be, and well writ. Bravo, Sher, Bravo!



Encore, please.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Lol! What a great category. Wait until you hear my ode to the plunger.

 

[shereads]

Lol! What a great category. Wait until you hear my ode to the plunger.

Wouldn't plungers fall into the Erotic Sanitation category?

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Wouldn't plungers fall into the Erotic Sanitation category?

No, that's tampons.

 

[shereads]

====================================================

That definitely gets a five (5).l

Warm, sexy naked scene, erotic as can be, and well writ. Bravo, Sher, Bravo!



Encore, please.

Do you double triple quadruple dare me to submit it?

I need a poem to balance my story.

 

[shereads]

No, that's tampons.

It's a fairly broad area of - nevermind.

 

[shereads]

I exist
In a vegetative state
called Florida.
Unplug me.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

He eases inside her warm wet orifice.
Plugs her, stuffs her full under the thundering torrents
Holds back the flood of hot wetness till all is still.
Then he pops forth in a burst of rapture
A quick sucking gurgle,
Leaving her completely
drained.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I loved it, Shereads

Fond plug for my dear stories
You scintillate here still,
Begging passing readers
To click their way to Will.

Alas my little plugling,
Although you do your best,
They can draw but one conclusion:
Ego equus ingens est.

Shanglan

 

[shereads]

He eases inside her warm wet orifice.
Plugs her, stuffs her full under the thundering torrents
Holds back the flood of hot wetness till all is still.
Then he pops forth in a burst of rapture
A quick sucking gurgle,
Leaving her completely
drained.

My nipples just poked two small holes in my monitor.

 

[Guest]

My plug -

My plug is thick and glitter pink with purple stripey sides.
Of course it's tough to notice when so deeply it resides
inside my clutching orifice when lounging in my tub.
Perhaps I'll stretch out stylishly and give myself a scrub.



(to be continued, but first I need to do something about the damn drain plug)

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I think Doc's responsible for a lot of wet panties around here on a daily basis.

 

[shereads]

Alas my little plugling,
Although you do your best,
They can draw but one conclusion:
Ego equus ingens est.

Damn you. Now I have to look up the line in my Umberto Eco Punchlines Translating Dictionary.

Aha! Here it is:

"The horse is but called the rose when its name is not that of the horse."

 

[shereads]

I think Doc's responsible for a lot of wet panties around here on a daily basis.

He should buy a few crates of replacement panties, at the very least.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Damn you. Now I have to look up the line in my Umberto Eco Punchlines Translating Dictionary.

Aha! Here it is:

"The horse is but called the rose when its name is not that of the horse."

Or, if one's Latin is not hopelessly degenerate - and it may be; for all I know I might be saying "come stick an onion up the cat" - it might read "The horse's ego is immense."

Shanglan

(Edited to add: Actually one's Latin is hopelessly degenerate; I think that should be "equi.")

 

[Rhys]

Ode to the buttplug

Oh where or where has my vibrating buttplug gone
oh where oh where could it be
Last seen on the tube
it was coated in lube
and bereft of battery.

Oh where or where has my vibrating buttplug gone
oh where oh where could it be?
deep in his ass
but he's got gas
and now I'm afraid its shot off to Innesfree.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

He should buy a few crates of replacement panties, at the very least.

I agree, tanga for me, Doc.

 

[shereads]

My plug is thick and glitter pink with purple stripey sides.
Of course it's tough to notice when so deeply it resides
inside my clutching orifice when lounging in my tub.
Perhaps I'll stretch out stylishly and give myself a scrub.



(to be continued, but first I need to do something about the damn drain plug)

Harlot!

 

[shereads]

Ode to the buttplug

Oh where or where has my vibrating buttplug gone
oh where oh where could it be?
deep in his ass
but he's got gas
and now I'm afraid its shot off to Innesfree.

I was eating pistachios. I almost choked to death.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Or, if one's Latin is not hopelessly degenerate - and it may be; for all I know I might be saying "come stick an onion up the cat" - it might read "The horse's ego is immense."

Shanglan

(Edited to add: Actually one's Latin is hopelessly degenerate; I think that should be "equi.")

D'antan means wintertime, or steering wheel. Not onion.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

- it might read "The horse's ego is immense."
Shanglan

I wish I'd written this but I didn't, it was Adam Ant

Why
Oh why
Tell me why
Do girls Love..
Horses?
Why
Oh why
Tell me why
Do girls Love..
Horses?

Is it Gos they're round?
Or they're six feet off the ground?
Is it because they're on top?
Or the clippety clop?