Write a controversial opinion

[SimonDoom]

In the world of Cyberpunk 2077, there is a member of a steroid-enhanced street gang who goes by the name Mauler. Mauler is wanted by the Night City Police Department; he's a Class Three (of up to five) criminal. His crime? Violations of Article 1, section 5a of the Pizza Desecration Act (illegal use of pineapple or pineapple-adjacent products).

Hell would be being forced to watch an infinitely long cricket match played by mimes, and the only food available for all eternity was pineapple pizza.

 

[Cacatua_Galerita]

It's none of your fucking business what consenting adults put on their pizza.

Pineapple, ramen, chocolate, caviar, banana, potato chips – it’s all good… with the exception of anchovies. I don’t want those evil engraulidae on my pizza. I don’t want them on a neighboring pizza. I don’t even want my pizza cut with a blade that has run through an anchovy pizza, lest the piscine funk taint my serving.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Pineapple, ramen, chocolate, caviar, banana, potato chips – it’s all good… with the exception of anchovies. I don’t want those evil engraulidae on my pizza. I don’t want them on a neighboring pizza. I don’t even want my pizza cut with a blade that has run through an anchovy pizza, lest the piscine funk taint my serving.

Fair.

Ranch dressing can be nice but is usually just cum-flavoured gloop.

A pizza place near us used to sell a gorgonzola and caramelised pear pizza, with rocket (arugula) and ranch dressing.

The first time the spouse ordered it, they left the ranch off. The next time, in contrast, it looked like all the staff had enthusiastically jizzed over the pizza. We ended up calling it Jizz Pizza as it was his favourite order. And then the Pizza of Love, as a euphemism in front of the kids.

Obviously I also had to wind up the spouse about his secret jizz love. He's 99% straight, has snogged a few guys, and there was one guy who attracted him to enjoy more, but even with him, he wasn't a cum fan.

 

[Statius]

I learned 2 things this morning.

1. I'm a class 3 criminal; I love pineapple on pizza, especially with pepperoni. Kinda cool since I've never been a criminal before.

2. Ranch dressing apparently tastes like cum.

#2 needs to be put in a story, that's hilarious!

 

[TheRedChamber]

Somehow, the other day, my daughter managed to order us a spicy beef pizza with both chocolate edges and a crust stuffed with plasticy cheese - made all the worse by the fact that it was only a 9 inch pizza and thus the 'crust' took up a good half of surface area. I didnt notice because the optional extras brought the cost up to near a 12 incher. I was not amused.

Anyone who thinks pineapple is the worst issue facing modern pizza should be made to have one with durian topping.

 

[Z_TheWriter]

Y'all should watch the first episode of the TV series Ugly Delicious about pizza.

 

[cw5523729]

2. Ranch dressing apparently tastes like cum.

How did you deteri-

Never mind. Don't wanna know.

 

[Statius]

How did you deteri-

Never mind. Don't wanna know.

IDK a post above mine said it

 

[NuclearFairy]

XD Cum tastes like overly salty mushrooms. I wish it tasted like ranch, that would be awesome.

Hell would be being forced to watch an infinitely long cricket match played by mimes, and the only food available for all eternity was pineapple pizza.

That actually sounds like it'd be fairly amusing to watch.

 

[Erozetta]

XD Cum tastes like overly salty mushrooms. I wish it tasted like ranch, that would be awesome.


That actually sounds like it'd be fairly amusing to watch.

Tastes like salty pool water to me.

Does have the consistency of poor quality ranch, though.

 

[crookedletter]

I think cum tasting like ranch dressing would actually have a profound effect on the world at large.

 

[Britva415]

Pineapple, ramen, chocolate, caviar, banana, potato chips – it’s all good… with the exception of anchovies. I don’t want those evil engraulidae on my pizza. I don’t want them on a neighboring pizza. I don’t even want my pizza cut with a blade that has run through an anchovy pizza, lest the piscine funk taint my serving.

I saw Piscine Funk Taint spin in a warehouse in Canberra before they got big.

 

[big_cane_sugar]

2. Ranch dressing apparently tastes like cum.

Either someone's getting the wrong ranch dressing or every woman I've been with has lied to me.

 

[Statius]

Either someone's getting the wrong ranch dressing or every woman I've been with has lied to me.

Hey don't blame me I was going on what another poster said.

 

[Z_TheWriter]

Either someone's getting the wrong ranch dressing or every woman I've been with has lied to me.

You always ask them what it tastes like?

 

[YmaOHyd]

You always ask them what it tastes like?

Every time I get ranch dressing.

 

[sister jenny]

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho is a pretty crappy book.

 

[crookedletter]

You always ask them what it tastes like?

Your feedback is important! Please take a moment to complete this short survey.

 

[MillieDynamite]

You want to talk crappy books? I have a list of them. And let me tell you, it's a pretty long list.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho is a pretty crappy book.

 

[Britva415]

Your feedback is important!

Now I'm picturing "ranch snowballs"

 

[sister jenny]

I learned 2 things this morning.

1. I'm a class 3 criminal; I love pineapple on pizza, especially with pepperoni. Kinda cool since I've never been a criminal before.

Me too! Best pizza Canadian bacon and pineapple and onions.

2. Ranch dressing apparently tastes like cum.

Whoever said that need to talk to her husband about his diet.

#2 needs to be put in a story, that's hilarious!

Now, don't go and encourage things like this.

 

[sister jenny]

You want to talk crappy books? I have a list of them. And let me tell you, it's a pretty long list.

Me too!

 

[MillieDynamite]

I guess I'll read anything, and once you start, you've got to finish. I've read Ulysses by James Joyce. Not a favorite, not fond of stream of conscienceness for that long. But I finished it. And oddly, it isn't on my list of bad books.

Me too!

 

[sister jenny]

I guess I'll read anything, and once you start, you've got to finish. I've read Ulysses by James Joyce. Not a favorite, not fond of stream of conscienceness for that long. But I finished it. And oddly, it isn't on my list of bad books.

I love that book!
But my lit teacher gave me great advice and I think it made me love it more.
He told me to read one chapter each month, and read other books in-between. So on the same date each month I read one chapter from Ulysses and I love it.

 

[YmaOHyd]

The third book in the Blood Sucking Fiends trilogy is so bad it retroactively ruins the first two. It is the most obvious case of a writer telling his publisher "stop making me write these. I hate them. Stop it. I swear to God I will set this whole place on fire."