Would you tell?

[bg23]

If a guy who is involved makes a move on you, and you know he's involved and you know the girl that he's involved with (not well, but who she is at least), would you feel obligated to tell his girlfriend?

This douchewad hit on me the other day, I said, "Um, aren't you with <name>?"

He said, "Eh, it's not going to last."

I think that's news to her since she's thinking they're going to move in together or some such thing, based on Facebook posts.

Do I tell her? Am I obligated to? I feel like it's none of my business and I don't want to get tangled up in their drama since so much of the time the wife/gf just turns around and blames the "other woman" more than her guy and I don't need to deal with that crap.

But I feel like she at least deserves a warning or something. Anonymous message? Idk. What would you do?

 

[Killswitch]

I know this sounds strange coming from me but I'd stay out of it.

Hi Beeg!

 

[SolarHomo]

If a guy who is involved makes a move on you, and you know he's involved and you know the girl that he's involved with (not well, but who she is at least), would you feel obligated to tell his girlfriend?

This douchewad hit on me the other day, I said, "Um, aren't you with <name>?"

He said, "Eh, it's not going to last."

I think that's news to her since she's thinking they're going to move in together or some such thing, based on Facebook posts.

Do I tell her? Am I obligated to? I feel like it's none of my business and I don't want to get tangled up in their drama since so much of the time the wife/gf just turns around and blames the "other woman" more than her guy and I don't need to deal with that crap.

But I feel like she at least deserves a warning or something. Anonymous message? Idk. What would you do?

Tell her- you lose.
Don't tell her and she finds out you knew- you lose.
Bang him- you lose but at least you get laid.

 

[pointless]

when i was young and idealistic i would have told asap, but now i'm old enough to know that people are really kinda stupid and this kind of good deed tends to blow up in your face more often than not.

 

[Never]

If a guy who is involved makes a move on you, and you know he's involved and you know the girl that he's involved with (not well, but who she is at least), would you feel obligated to tell his girlfriend?

Totally. She might ditch that loser and then use me for rebound sex.

 

[Killswitch]

Totally. She might ditch that loser and then use me for rebound sex.

Nicely done.

 

[Libsam]

I was in a similar situation once, my mama told me that it was best to stay out of matters like this. There's no telling what kind of lies he could weave about you, and then YOU end up looking like the bad guy.

 

[bg23]

I know this sounds strange coming from me but I'd stay out of it.

Hi Beeg!

yeah i think i probably will just keep my mouth shut

Tell her- you lose.
Don't tell her and she finds out you knew- you lose.
Bang him- you lose but at least you get laid.

Ugh, so gross. He's a total tool and just...ugh. His idea of appropriate conversation was like, "Oh, I have this problem where I just get like...constant erections. I am just hard all the time." Wtf? Barf.

Besides, I get laid plenty already

when i was young and idealistic i would have told asap, but now i'm old enough to know that people are really kinda stupid and this kind of good deed tends to blow up in your face more often than not.

I think you are right. Like 5 years ago I would probably have been all over me with the whole DUTY, DO THE RIGHT THING shit but he's such a fucking twat that it's like, man, if she's staying with him despite the fact that he's so clearly a megadouche I dunno if the additional info that he is a cheating scumbag would even change anything.

 

[yossi]

when i was young and idealistic i would have told asap, but now i'm old enough to know that people are really kinda stupid and this kind of good deed tends to blow up in your face more often than not.

Agreed.

If you know her well enough to assess whether she'd actually believe you and not turn it back on you, I would. But it's usually better to stay away from a potential minefield. You turned him down and I really don't think the obligation goes beyond that.

 

[bg23]

Totally. She might ditch that loser and then use me for rebound sex.

Man, I wish she was really hot because then this'd totally be a stellar plan for me.

 

[Garnate]

Totally. She might ditch that loser and then use me for rebound sex.

Stop trying to cheat on me.

 

[parodyluvr75]

That's a sucky position to be in.

Is she a good friend, then I would but I'd be prepared to lose her if she gets mad. People aren't grateful usually for that kind of news.

I'd tell him if he hits on you again you'll tell her, then he won't bother you or he'll think twice about scamming on her friends.

Good luck.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Ugh, so gross. He's a total tool and just...ugh. His idea of appropriate conversation was like, "Oh, I have this problem where I just get like...constant erections. I am just hard all the time." Wtf? Barf.

What exactly does she see in this prize catch? Money? Sex?

Is she just settling in order to not deal with the hassle of finding better?

 

[Never]

On a serious note:

Yes, I'd tell, because if he doesn't have an STI already, I expect he'll get one soon enough. It sucks to be in what you think is a monogamous relationship only to end up with Gonorrhea or something worse.

A cheating partner endangers the health and well-being of the person they're cheating on.

 

[pointless]

What exactly does she see in this prize catch? Money? Sex?

Is she just settling in order to not deal with the hassle of finding better?

maybe she's just kinda dumb. a lot of people are. hell, half of them are, really.

 

[parodyluvr75]

On a serious note:

Yes, I'd tell, because if he doesn't have an STI already, I expect he'll get one soon enough. It sucks to be in what you think is a monogamous relationship only to end up with Gonorrhea or something worse.

A cheating partner endangers the health and well-being of the person they're cheating on.

That is another thing to consider.

 

[Disgustipated]

Is this thread about that mouth breather Pete###?

If not, it could be.

 

[smoothg103rd]

Hell no don't tell. It's not like she is your friend, you don't owe her anything. People are crazy, she might think you are telling her that to keep him for yourself. She might believe you and break up with the guy, but either way it's still not your business or benefit you. Just mind your business.

 

[FGB]

Post good luck to her on Facebook and mention that if someone like that hits on you "AGAIN" you are going to give him a knee to balls.

 

[neci]

i make it a rule to stay out of other people's shitty relationships, unless one of the people involved is an extremely good friend. then i voice my opinion, if asked, and back the fuck up. people, as a rule, will choose their relationships over you every day and try to make you look like the bad guy if there is any streak of vindictiveness in their soul. unless you know for a fact that he has HIV and has fucked someone else, i say stay away. i don't need that level of drama in my life.

 

[pollynova]

I would tell and I hope that someone would tell me.

 

[snugglestruggle]

You should weigh what you would gain if you told her by what you would lose if you don't. What value do you place on the woman's friendship? What do you risk either way?

 

[tmmmbrrr]

I would tell and I hope that someone would tell me.

yeah, me too...

the douche involved you with her when he tried to pick you up

it could come back on you, but i'd do it

 

[Cubantripod]

I wouldn't. You never know if you're news is going o be well received or if they are going to think you're lying because you're "jealous" or "want him." Then if you have a relationship with that person it will be effected. Tell this guy you're not interested and move on.

 

[Littlefinger]

i make it a rule to stay out of other people's shitty relationships, unless one of the people involved is an extremely good friend. then i voice my opinion, if asked, and back the fuck up. people, as a rule, will choose their relationships over you every day and try to make you look like the bad guy if there is any streak of vindictiveness in their soul. unless you know for a fact that he has HIV and has fucked someone else, i say stay away. i don't need that level of drama in my life.

This.

An intimate relationship is a strong bond and some people are really reluctant to let go of it. Even if she finds out later that what you said was true, pride might keep her from being friends with you even after she finds out/breaks up with him. When people make the stupid decision to believe in someone that is not good for them, whether it is their fault or not, they usually don't want other people to know about it. Even if you were best friends, she might not choose you over him, so, since she's not even that, it's unlikely it'll have a good outcome.