Would You Donate Your Sperm/Ovum?

[McKenna]

Poll to follow (forgot to add an option in previous poll).

Would you want a say in who gets your donation?

Would it matter if the couple to whom you are donating is homosexual?

Would you donate your sperm/ovum to family, i.e., your sister-in-law?

 

[elsol]

*burp*

No.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

As I said in the other one:

No. I have defective DNA. My seed shouldn't be passed on under any circumstances.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Reposting:

I would donate for someone I know, regardelss of orientation/color/race etc.

But I'm not up for unanimous donations. I'm still not comfortable with that for some reason. And besides, I wouldn't really want any other kids to have to go through what I went through with this nose. (Thankfully, my daughters got my wife's nose. )

 

[SeaCat]

No I would not, for the simple reason that I was exposed to Hard Radiation when I was younger. I would not willingly pass on the risk of defective genes.

Cat

 

[JamesSD]

Poll to follow (forgot to add an option in previous poll).

Would you want a say in who gets your donation?

Would it matter if the couple to whom you are donating is homosexual?

Would you donate your sperm/ovum to family, i.e., your sister-in-law?

I would absolutely donate, no strings attached.

 

[S-Des]

If I did do it, there isn't any restrictions I'd have as far as the couple (as long as there were two parents).

 

[Huckleman2000]

I would if I could be involved a little. I wouldn't demand much time, just a card from time to time to let me know how the kid is doing. Mostly, so that I could help out somehow if the kid ever needed it.

My son was unexpected, and I found that once one of my guys did his deed, it was impossible to turn my back on him. My sperm and I stick together.

 

[Boota]

In my early twenties I donated gallons of sperm to lots of random women. My views have changed on that matter now in my late thirties. If I knew the people I would do that for them. Otherwise, probably not.

 

[TheEarl]

I would love to donate sperm. There's a radical shortage of it in the UK, there are a lot of deserving couples in desperate need and I fit the most desired demographic of white, intelligent, athletic. I would be delighted to help make someone's dream come true.

However, under the current laws of the UK, I won't. The current idiotic legislation, which was only installed a few years ago, states that a child born of a sperm donor is legally entitled to all the information available about the donor, when that child is eighteen. There's no anonymity whatsoever.

Selfish as it may seem, I have no desire whatsoever to have a stranger track me down in eighteen years time, when I shall have a family and children of my own, in order to chase a fantasy that I have any paternal connection to them whatsoever. The children that I will have with my baobei will be my sons and daughters. Any product of a sperm donation will be a gift to the parents who raise them and will share nothing with my life except genetic material.

There are a lot of people who feel similarly in the UK and so those in need of donors are struggling more and more. Typical decision of the Labour government; they were warned that this would be the upshot of stripping away the anonymity and decided to go ahead anyway. Bah.

The Earl

 

[cloudy]

I would, no strings attached. My family is remarkably fertile (fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it - one sister has 14 kids), and I feel for those who really want children, and would be loving parents, but have difficulty conceiving.

 

[Dar~]

as another option; I am a woman and I would donate my body. To a couple I knew who couldn't have a child, regardless of sexuality.

 

[elsol]

But I'm not up for unanimous donations. I'm still not comfortable with that for some reason. And besides, I wouldn't really want any other kids to have to go through what I went through with this nose. (Thankfully, my daughters got my wife's nose. )

Unanimous donations?

Is that where we all give a gene to see how the kid comes out?

 

[McKenna]

My sister, who has been in a committed, lesbian relatioship for the past eight years, is trying to conceive with her partner. They first tried a cryo-sperm bank, and when they didn't conceive, sought a local donor. Although the plan had been for the sperm donor to remain anonymous, they accidentally found out who he is. He is donating his sperm, no strings attached, with all the legal documentation to support it.


A friend of ours had leukemia as a child. Because of the chemotherapy and radiation, she lost the ability to conceive (no ovum). Her sister donated an ovum, which was fertilized by our friend's husband; they have a beautiful daughter.


And then there's me. As some of you know, I have been trying to conceive for some time now. Thinking about my own personal options for conception, combined with the above-mentioned scenarios, has me wondering about the type of people who do donate sperm/ovum, and those who do not.


I have not yet voted in the poll because, frankly, I don't know what to vote. I think if I had children of my own, I would be more inclined to donate an ovum in order to help another couple conceive. I have reservations, however, about donating to a gay couple. In my head I know this isn't right, but I can't reconcile my gut reaction to what my intellect tells me. This might also be due to the fact that I've had little-to-no exposure to gay couples. That said, I would donate to a lesbian couple. Do mothers make better parents? I think women have more feel and instinct for nurturing, and that may be where I'm basing my opinion.

Would I accept a sperm donation from a brother-in-law? Awkward. I don't know that I could. That would definitely have to be a decision made conjointly with my spouse. Future repercussions would have to be considered.

Would I accept a sperm donation from a friend? Yes. Provided certain expectations were spelled out before-hand, and legally contracted. Would I want it to be a close friend? Oy. Don't know. Again, I'd have to consider future repercussions.

Would I accept an anonymous donation? Not sure. I'd feel uncomfortable not knowing anything about the donor. I suppose what I'd be doing is picking options from a genetic menu, but I would wonder about personality traits and whether or not those are inherited or taught, i.e., nature vs. nurture.

Would I want to be implanted with a donated ovum that was fertilized by my husband's sperm? Eep. My heart just cringed a bit when I typed that. I don't know. I honestly don't know.

 

[McKenna]

If I did do it, there isn't any restrictions I'd have as far as the couple (as long as there were two parents).

Do you mind if I ask why you place this restriction (two parents)? You can reply via PM if that would feel more comfortable.

 

[McKenna]

I would if I could be involved a little. I wouldn't demand much time, just a card from time to time to let me know how the kid is doing. Mostly, so that I could help out somehow if the kid ever needed it.

My son was unexpected, and I found that once one of my guys did his deed, it was impossible to turn my back on him. My sperm and I stick together.

Would you feel comfortable with your child contacting you if/when they learn who their sperm-donor father is?

 

[McKenna]

In my early twenties I donated gallons of sperm to lots of random women. My views have changed on that matter now in my late thirties. If I knew the people I would do that for them. Otherwise, probably not.

How well would you have to know them?

 

[The_Fool]

Having had the joys and trials of having children, I would do whatever was necessary for friends and family to help them have that same experience. But with the following qualifications:

1. Fiscal responsibility to care for that child.

2. Maturity to take care of that child.

3. Knowledge that they are suffering from not having children and this is not a passing fad.

I have no desire to be a "father" again, so would be less inclined to maintain an active relationship beyond "uncle" or "family friend." What I am saying with that is that I would be more than happy to assist the "birth" parents, but don't want to take on that responsibility for myself. Not to say in the even of catastrophe I would not take on the responsibility of raising the child, because I would.

But this is not a decision that I would make in a vacuum either. I would have to discuss with my family.

 

[McKenna]

I would love to donate sperm. There's a radical shortage of it in the UK, there are a lot of deserving couples in desperate need and I fit the most desired demographic of white, intelligent, athletic. I would be delighted to help make someone's dream come true.

However, under the current laws of the UK, I won't. The current idiotic legislation, which was only installed a few years ago, states that a child born of a sperm donor is legally entitled to all the information available about the donor, when that child is eighteen. There's no anonymity whatsoever.

Selfish as it may seem, I have no desire whatsoever to have a stranger track me down in eighteen years time, when I shall have a family and children of my own, in order to chase a fantasy that I have any paternal connection to them whatsoever. The children that I will have with my baobei will be my sons and daughters. Any product of a sperm donation will be a gift to the parents who raise them and will share nothing with my life except genetic material.

There are a lot of people who feel similarly in the UK and so those in need of donors are struggling more and more. Typical decision of the Labour government; they were warned that this would be the upshot of stripping away the anonymity and decided to go ahead anyway. Bah.

The Earl

Eesh, that's a horrible law. I would certainly like the option of remaining anonymous, if only for my own protection. Maybe it wouldn't be the child that comes looking, but one of the parents or family members. Like I said in my previous post, if I donated an ovum, I would want to remain anonymous; I would, however, in a perfect world, like the option of screening potential candidates. As much as they have a right to screen potential donors, I think donors should have the right to screen recipients.

How that would all get accomplished, I don't know.

I have no desire to populate the earth with my own progeny, but I could see myself donating a small portion of my ovum. Possibly. Maybe. Argh.

 

[McKenna]

I would, no strings attached. My family is remarkably fertile (fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it - one sister has 14 kids), and I feel for those who really want children, and would be loving parents, but have difficulty conceiving.

Fourteen?!

 

[McKenna]

as another option; I am a woman and I would donate my body. To a couple I knew who couldn't have a child, regardless of sexuality.

This made my heart smile.

I think I could more easily donate my body (surrogacy) than donate an ovum.

Odd, eh?

 

[The_Fool]

Do you mind if I ask why you place this restriction (two parents)? You can reply via PM if that would feel more comfortable.

I would like to see two parents, since it is bloody hard to raise kids with one parent.

 

[McKenna]

Having had the joys and trials of having children, I would do whatever was necessary for friends and family to help them have that same experience. But with the following qualifications:

1. Fiscal responsibility to care for that child.

2. Maturity to take care of that child.

3. Knowledge that they are suffering from not having children and this is not a passing fad.

I have no desire to be a "father" again, so would be less inclined to maintain an active relationship beyond "uncle" or "family friend." What I am saying with that is that I would be more than happy to assist the "birth" parents, but don't want to take on that responsibility for myself. Not to say in the even of catastrophe I would not take on the responsibility of raising the child, because I would.

But this is not a decision that I would make in a vacuum either. I would have to discuss with my family.

Excellent point.

I know of a woman who donates her ovum on a regular basis. She has a husband and children of her own. I know that the husband knows and supports what she's doing, but I have no idea if her children know. Does she have a responsibility to tell them? I have no idea. I suppose it might depend on where the concentration of her ovum are being donated. Wouldn't want a kid marrying/having children with a 1/2 sibling, unbeknownst to them both.

 

[McKenna]

I would like to see two parents, since it is bloody hard to raise kids with one parent.

On this note, I have known couples where the father (most often) is not very involved in the child's life and upbringing apart from providing financial support and occasional discipline. In that scenario, it's almost like a single-parent family.

But I do get your point; I don't know how single parents do it. One afternoon with my nieces and nephews and I'm exhausted. Doing that 24/7 for 18+ years? Yeeeeeeeeeeeeesh.

 

[S-Des]

Do you mind if I ask why you place this restriction (two parents)? You can reply via PM if that would feel more comfortable.

Three very important reasons. #1) Every study I've ever seen show that children do better with two parents (usually it says mom & dad, but I don't personally think having different sex parents is remotely close in importance to having two good parents). #2) Sadly, tragic things happen. If a child loses a parent (or the parent becomes disabled), it's obviously much more stable for them to be with the other parent than a friend/relative/foster care. #3) Monetary. If a single parent works to support their child/children, that means they aren't with them as much to help nurture them. My parents both worked, but worked opposite shifts so that the kids always had a parent around. It was an amazing and beautiful sacrifice. I'd never say that a single parent can't be a wonderful parent, but it's an incredible burden. Additionally, kids learn from watching. I believe that how they approach future relationships and conflict resolution has a lot to do with watching and listening to their parents.