Would you Cheat

Remember that the OP stipulated the condition "If you knew you wouldn't get caught"

Meaning that the possibility of hurting your spouse or suffer any kind of fall-out from the indiscretion is zero. I

I get that.

My answer would still be no.

My inner voice is a harping bitch.

She would be screaming at me.

Till I probably confessed.

Plus I have no urge, inclination or a tingling in my vagina that needs to be scratched.
 
Remember that the OP stipulated the condition "If you knew you wouldn't get caught"

Meaning that the possibility of hurting your spouse or suffer any kind of fall-out from the indiscretion is zero. It would be like an alternate dream-universe consisting of a tropical beach with only you and some hunk/hunkette... and a crate of chilled Bollinger 69.


If we extrapolate from crime of passion to crime of $$$, would I walk into the vault of my local bank and grab a few $million if I was absolutely guaranteed to not get caught?

Hell yeah! :cool:
I'm not sure if that's a fair comparison. A bank doesn't have feelings, and money [in U.S. banks at least] is insured. A person's feelings can't be fixed like the theft of money from a bank can be rectified.

I wouldn't cheat simply because, at the end of the day, I have to live with myself. Even if my partner would never find out, I would feel horrible about lying, violating the rules of our marriage, and potentially exposing my husband to STIs. That guilt would very likely ultimately destroy me and my marriage. It's just not worth the risk for me, personally, so I've always had a policy of being honest with my husband if my needs aren't being met or I'm very attracted to someone else.
 
Actually I already told wifey that I would dump her in a heartbeat if Kate Beckinsale ever called.

She totally understood - and declared that she would dump me for Kate Beckinsale too...
 
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I always told my wife if a real hot women would ever walk into our house or my office and took off her clothes. Then said come and get it, I would jump her bones. The odds of that happening is zero. Therefore I wouldn't cheat, couldn't do that to my lovely wife.
 
I would say no, but I don't think anyone can ever 100% say they wouldn't. Under the right circumstances, with the right person I suppose anything is possible. I have known the most loyal and honest people end up in the arms of someone else. Perhaps they met someone extra special, maybe alcohol was involved. But so far, for me at least, no.
 
I hadn't heard of an infidelity clause till I read an article recently.

If you cheat you pay.

Ouch.
 
There is some real cockwad of douchery in here.
They are on the list.
 
No, never. Well of course I would never get married. But, I could not sleep with another person without telling my SO's about it. If I meet somebody I want to fool around with I bring it out in the open so everybody involved with me knows what I'm doing and then we only play safe.

Cheating is lying and I don't like to my b/f or g/f about who I'm fooling around with. That is selfish and mean.

If it's just a handjob or fingering, petting, making out or whatever then I tell them after but if it is going further there is prior conversation.
 
No, never. Well of course I would never get married. But, I could not sleep with another person without telling my SO's about it. If I meet somebody I want to fool around with I bring it out in the open so everybody involved with me knows what I'm doing and then we only play safe.

Cheating is lying and I don't like to my b/f or g/f about who I'm fooling around with. That is selfish and mean.

If it's just a handjob or fingering, petting, making out or whatever then I tell them after but if it is going further there is prior conversation.

Even if you didn't go further into actual coitus, wouldn't doing any of these constitute cheating as well?

Just interested in how you see it as I know everyone has differing "levels" of what "cheating" means. And I know certain things happen spontaneously in the heat of the moment in a given situation.

Like, say, if you're at a party without your S.O. and you're talking to someone that's really vibing with you and you know it could go that way if you decide to go there. Then maybe that other person leans in for an ambush kiss or a shoulder-to-shoulder press or puts an errant hand on your thigh underneath the table or counter and it's warm and nice and you're not exactly trying to push it away. That sorta thing. It's not all the way, but it's still a transaction of intimacy, isn't it?
 
Even if you didn't go further into actual coitus, wouldn't doing any of these constitute cheating as well?

Just interested in how you see it as I know everyone has differing "levels" of what "cheating" means. And I know certain things happen spontaneously in the heat of the moment in a given situation.

Like, say, if you're at a party without your S.O. and you're talking to someone that's really vibing with you and you know it could go that way if you decide to go there. Then maybe that other person leans in for an ambush kiss or a shoulder-to-shoulder press or puts an errant hand on your thigh underneath the table or counter and it's warm and nice and you're not exactly trying to push it away. That sorta thing. It's not all the way, but it's still a transaction of intimacy, isn't it?

I can see what you are saying, but it doesn't work like that for us. I don't consider it intimate in my book. We are all open. My b/f is bisexual and married and both his b/f and wife are friends of mine. My g/f is lesbian and friends with the group as well. I am open to fool around with whomever I want, we just discuss it when there is going to be intercourse so that they are aware of what I'm doing, it has nothing to do with intimacy for me; it is just sex and lust.
 
Cheating is a matter of inclination and opportunity. There are plenty of faithful partners who would jump at the chance, but the chance was always too great.

I've been in both situations. There were times when I said, "Thank you. I'm flattered, but no." There were other times I said, "Whatever you're offering, I want it."

Only the pathological cheat when they are in a happy and satisfied relationship. Of course, part of being pathological is never being happy and satisfied for very long. Regular, ordinary people, those with no great obsessions, compulsions, or delusions, will cheat when circumstances align. A long term relationship is a big investment in time, money, and personal energy. Few want to disrupt their life and the lives of everybody else when the dissatisfaction is just a small part of the overall relationship. It looks easy to sneak away for a few hours and get a little emotional nourishment. The physical sex is not really the object. It means there is someone who finds you desirable and this is a powerful drug. It is the worlds greatest pain reliever. Like all pain relievers, it cures nothing. It just lets you live with the condition.
 
I can see what you are saying, but it doesn't work like that for us. I don't consider it intimate in my book. We are all open. My b/f is bisexual and married and both his b/f and wife are friends of mine. My g/f is lesbian and friends with the group as well. I am open to fool around with whomever I want, we just discuss it when there is going to be intercourse so that they are aware of what I'm doing, it has nothing to do with intimacy for me; it is just sex and lust.

Totes understood. You're in a good and healthy relationship with the connection between everyone and the honest communication going around like that and it's enviable. Not an easy thing to make happen and finding the right people to fit in that lifestyle these days.

I get down with the "low impact" intimacy thing also, lots of snogging and first-to-second-basing and all that...if it goes further than that, fine, but usually it's kept on a level that I guess people don't consider "cheating." Since I'm single with nothing to cheat on, I don't judge and I'm totally going for my pleasure, but I do make sure that the other person is okay with it, especially if they let me know there's someone else. Just to avoid the drama, because we don't need that.

Mostly I find that they tell me upfront that they're taken so I don't get the wrong idea about getting attached...and I tell them, hey, I'm good with it if you are and the only idea in my head at the moment is anything but wrong! ;)
 
I can see what you are saying, but it doesn't work like that for us. I don't consider it intimate in my book. We are all open. My b/f is bisexual and married and both his b/f and wife are friends of mine. My g/f is lesbian and friends with the group as well. I am open to fool around with whomever I want, we just discuss it when there is going to be intercourse so that they are aware of what I'm doing, it has nothing to do with intimacy for me; it is just sex and lust.

Totes understood. You're in a good and healthy relationship with the connection between everyone and the honest communication going around like that and it's enviable. Not an easy thing to make happen and finding the right people to fit in that lifestyle these days.

I get down with the "low impact" intimacy thing also, lots of snogging and first-to-second-basing and all that...if it goes further than that, fine, but usually it's kept on a level that I guess people don't consider "cheating." Since I'm single with nothing to cheat on, I don't judge and I'm totally going for my pleasure, but I do make sure that the other person is okay with it, especially if they let me know there's someone else. Just to avoid the drama, because we don't need that.

Mostly I find that they tell me upfront that they're taken so I don't get the wrong idea about getting attached...and I tell them, hey, I'm good with it if you are and the only idea in my head at the moment is anything but wrong! ;)

You are both in good places. Honesty without apology is the only way to go.
 
We already allow each other to tap strange, so the only cheating would be to not tell her about it. Or to start a parallell serious long term relationship.

So no.

How YOU doin'? My name is Strange. Tap away.
 
No, but the person I love is far away. He wouldn't consider it cheating, but other men come up short compared to him. So I guess that means I'm not tempted.
 
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No. The whole concept is weird and seems stupid. And I have been in that situation, many times. It's not hard to be like, "Hold on a sec. Pour us some drinks while I make a couple phone calls. I'm way more limber when I'm tispy."

Edit: And some great things have come from that. I heartily recommend it. Nobody gets hurt and you might get a free baby.
 
No. I'd rather be honest and express my needs than cheat.

Cheating is a character defect, and I try to stay away from those as much as possible.
 
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