I have this idea stuck in my craw, about the rise and fall of a family and their business, but I keep seeing it not in simple linear form from start to end, but in a series of events across time, centered upon the family mansion, set in a mountain meadow by a lake, and at the family's factory.
My problem is that I want to write it as a series of paired events, though not necessarily together:
The house and the meadow were lit with hundreds of lanterns and candles, music and happy voices could be heard across the meadow as guests arrived. / Tongues of flame and smoke erupted from every window, the roaring inferno drowned out all other sounds.
He stands on the floor in front of the podium, still dressed for the funeral, and tells the assembled workers that they will keep their jobs, he will not let them down, the company will continue under family operation. / Standing at the podium, she announces, "The Chairman and the old Board have been replaced, and the merger is signed."
"He watched his son Jacob taking his first steps, arms wide and flailing as he staggered towards his father with a goofy grin." / "Jacob stormed out of the house, 'You're not my father, stop telling me what to do!' His brother and sister followed wordlessly. None looked back."
They laughed as he carried her from the limo into the house, the staff had arranged it all and then cleared out. / He cried as he carried her limp body out to the street, then turned back to the dark house.
He turned as she entered the room wearing only a wisp of lace. She shed that and then blew out the lantern next to the bed. Lying there, dressed only in moonlight, she looked serene, even angelic. / She watched him walk back into the house. He picked up the highway flare off the the side table, pulled the cap off the end of the flare and struck it to light. The red glare lit his features from below, lending them a demonic cast. She see the red glow move down toward the back, disappear, then reappear in the basement windows.
And the jumbled part is that I wanted to tell it out of sequence (or more precisely, I want to tell the rise going forward and the fall going back step by step, arriving at the point where the knife goes into his back [figuratively]) and then end as it began,
"The meadow was bright and sunny, a breeze ruffled the wildflowers and blew ripples across the lake."
I can't get the images out of my head, but I can't untangle it from the broken storyline concept either.
My problem is that I want to write it as a series of paired events, though not necessarily together:
The house and the meadow were lit with hundreds of lanterns and candles, music and happy voices could be heard across the meadow as guests arrived. / Tongues of flame and smoke erupted from every window, the roaring inferno drowned out all other sounds.
He stands on the floor in front of the podium, still dressed for the funeral, and tells the assembled workers that they will keep their jobs, he will not let them down, the company will continue under family operation. / Standing at the podium, she announces, "The Chairman and the old Board have been replaced, and the merger is signed."
"He watched his son Jacob taking his first steps, arms wide and flailing as he staggered towards his father with a goofy grin." / "Jacob stormed out of the house, 'You're not my father, stop telling me what to do!' His brother and sister followed wordlessly. None looked back."
They laughed as he carried her from the limo into the house, the staff had arranged it all and then cleared out. / He cried as he carried her limp body out to the street, then turned back to the dark house.
He turned as she entered the room wearing only a wisp of lace. She shed that and then blew out the lantern next to the bed. Lying there, dressed only in moonlight, she looked serene, even angelic. / She watched him walk back into the house. He picked up the highway flare off the the side table, pulled the cap off the end of the flare and struck it to light. The red glare lit his features from below, lending them a demonic cast. She see the red glow move down toward the back, disappear, then reappear in the basement windows.
And the jumbled part is that I wanted to tell it out of sequence (or more precisely, I want to tell the rise going forward and the fall going back step by step, arriving at the point where the knife goes into his back [figuratively]) and then end as it began,
"The meadow was bright and sunny, a breeze ruffled the wildflowers and blew ripples across the lake."
I can't get the images out of my head, but I can't untangle it from the broken storyline concept either.
