Would anyone like to offer this new writer some feedback?

[Melissa000]

Hi everyone!

This is my first post to the lit forum after weeks of reading it with interest and enthusiasm

I'm a new writer of erotica and have recently added my second story to the site. The feedback, so far, has been quite good but I thought I would solicit for a little more from people eager to share their opinions.

As a bit of background, I began writing after receiving some encouragement from my boyfriend -- I sent him a hot email, and I guess he liked it . I'm quite busy with work, etc., so I don't have a lot of time to write and find that, when I do, I write an idea in one sitting, then go back and edit for spelling/grammar afterwards. Is this evident in my style? If so, is that a good thing (i.e. natural flow on screen) or a bad thing (i.e. rushed and without enough development)?

The first story I wrote involves light B/D (I'm not into pain or humiliation, so I don't write about it) in a MFFF scenario. The second story involves MF sex in a semi-public setting with some masturbation and voyeurism/exhibitionism thrown in for good measure

Here is the link to my profile page where both stories are listed.
http://english.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=404991&page=submissions

As I mentioned, I don't often have a lot of time on my hands, but I hope to be as active in this forum as possible because I really would like to share my thoughts about stories by others, as well. My posts will probably come in a flurry on days I’m procrastinating, followed by dry spells. I hope no one thinks I’m just being lazy or unresponsive! *ha ha*

I’m really looking forward to learning what readers of this forum think of my writing.

Thanks in advance, and talk to you again soon

Cheers,
M.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Hi, Melissa, and welcome to Lit. and the AH. I have written several stories about a beautiful bisexualnamed Melissa.

I don't have time right now but I will read your stories tomorrow.

 

[sack]

read and voted....

both stories were excellent. The sex came a little abruptly in the first one, you could have set the scene better. And perhaps the sex was put off too long in the other one, yet here the forbidden quality of the scene was excellent. These stories well deserve their "H"s !! Good for you!


Sack

 

[Melissa000]

Hi, Melissa, and welcome to Lit. and the AH. I have written several stories about a beautiful bisexualnamed Melissa.

I don't have time right now but I will read your stories tomorrow.

Thanks! I look forward to reading your work, as well. OMG -- I'm amazed by how many stories you've written and contributed to lit! I don't think I've seen anyone else with a list quite that extensive! Congrats!!

 

[Melissa000]

Re: read and voted....

both stories were excellent. The sex came a little abruptly in the first one, you could have set the scene better. And perhaps the sex was put off too long in the other one, yet here the forbidden quality of the scene was excellent. These stories well deserve their "H"s !! Good for you!

Thank you for your comments and suggestions... good point about the timing. It's a difficult thing to estimate. In the first one I was trying to catch a sense of surprise and "urgency". In the second one I was trying to give a sense of how long the characters had been waiting (being that they're in a long distance relationship, and all). Of course, that has to be balanced with the needs/desires of the reader ;-)

Again, thanks for your kind comments