Worst Pick Up Lines

A Desert Rose

Simply Charming Elsewhere
Joined
Aug 16, 2002
Posts
13,997
Did anyone read this on the MSN homepage today? Most of these I have seen in my e-mail more than once and I'm sure you have too. I know we can compile a good list of our own in here, considering the standard of wit and level of intelligence we have among our posters.

Here's what MSN had to say:

Devastatingly beautiful dates, sumptuous excursions and scintillating conversations are all benefits of the single life but contrary to popular belief, there is a downside to being relationship-free: The torture of being subjected to stale, decades-old, pick-up lines is penance for all that fun. In a survey taken across a range of age groups, geographical borders and lifestyles, we have compiled the top 10 worst pick-up lines that have sullied the ears of singles everywhere:

1. "What's your sign?"
The epitome of cheese, this line, which has been around since the Beatles came to America, ranks as the very worst line in dating history. The fact that it's still in use says a lot about the decay of our society's standards and the glaring desperation of some singles.

2. "Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?"
Maybe this was funny around 1910 or 1915 — back when the telephone was a novel appliance. It does not inspire smiles now, only scared and doomed looks.

3. "You must be a broom because you're sweeping me off my feet."
Maybe your dad used this one on your mom and for nostalgia's sake, you're bringing it out again. Nostalgia does not get you dates, only pity. "I actually had a guy say this to me during happy hour," says Kim, a vivacious flight attendant who gets her share of pick-up lines. "I didn't hold it against him because I don't know how much he'd had to drink and he was cute. But if he hadn't been cute, I would have dodged him."

4. "Do you have a licence? Because you're driving me crazy."
Caution! Watching too many stupid teen movies impairs your judgement. This probably sounded clever to the person who swiped it from an Annette and Frankie beach party flick.

5. "I gotta thirst and baby, you look like my Gatorade."
Generally, comparing potential dates to food or drinks is not a winning move. " I had a guy use this one on me and I rolled my eyes and walked way," says Susan, a marketing representative who doesn't usually go for lines. "But a couple of weeks later, I saw this hot guy at the gym and I used that same line and it worked! I guess there are gender preferences when it comes to lines. He was really flattered, where I was insulted when it was used on me."

6. "Are you lost? Because heaven's a long way from here."
Maybe angels like this one, real women don't.

7. "Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers."
Prayer is something that anyone who uses this tacky line desperately needs.

8. "Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas."
This line is popular with both men and women who think references to Santa are cute and charming, which are qualities that they never possess personally.

9. "Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"
"A stunning woman I had been staring at used this on me," says Mark, a tawny-haired, gregarious copywriter. "I know it's an old one but it took guts to say it. I'm afraid I happily fell for it."

10. "Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?"
A personal favorite, this one takes a certain amount of arrogance as well as delusion, to pull off.
 
A Desert Rose said:
Did anyone read this on the MSN homepage today? Most of these I have seen in my e-mail more than once and I'm sure you have too. I know we can compile a good list of our own in here, considering the standard of wit and level of intelligence we have among our posters.


Bad lines?
Well, this chick walked up to me in a bar one time and said "Do you like marsupials? 'cause I'd love to play Kangaroo and have you hop in my pouch"
I gave her sort of a blank look and stared in my glass to see if someone had spiked my drink, thinking perhaps it was all a hallucination
When I looked back up, she was giving me a mad gaze and she said "Come on boyo, I can get an orgasm out of you faster than Heloise removes a stink or stain!"
Then she held up this book:
http://www.heloise.com/stink.jpg

At that point, I excused myself, saying I had to use the restroom
Once inside, I crawled out the window, ran for my car, and drove away as fast as I could

I miss that bar.....
 
A Desert Rose said:
LMAO.... You are soooo funny!

You made me gag on my Reese's.


Pieces, or cups?


(Hmm, gagging on ADR's cups...hmmm....ok, I've been up wayyyy too late, I will abandon that train of thought before it derails ;) )
 
Eww.. Some more nasty pick up lines..

Are your legs tired? They should be, you have been running through my mind all night!

Some guy dropped a drink on me once and said, Let me take you home, we need to get you out of those wet clothes.. (Note, I did ask him for his address promising something special later. I wish I could have seen his face when he got the dry cleaner bill!)
 
enigma nocturne said:
Eww.. Some more nasty pick up lines..

Are your legs tired? They should be, you have been running through my mind all night!

Some guy dropped a drink on me once and said, Let me take you home, we need to get you out of those wet clothes.. (Note, I did ask him for his address promising something special later. I wish I could have seen his face when he got the dry cleaner bill!)

I think it might be fun going out with you sometime. ;-)
 
This is really really a true one..everytime i think of it for some reason i laugh for hours. "Do you wash your clothes in windex" i said no...why? he said "Because i can see myself in your pants". I dunno it was so dumb that i loved it and the worst pickup line ever ....but he got what he wanted and that was my attention *shrugs*
 
worst pickup line ever ....but he got what he wanted and that was my attention *shrugs* [/B]

My worst pick up line I have ever had tried upon me in a night club was...

"DO you wanna dance?.... I replied no, I have just come off the dance floor

to which she asked " can I buy you a drink?.. I replied No i just brought one

she then stated well I "spose a F**K is outta the question?

I had to laugh ... and reached over and took her hand...


A true story
 
A Desert Rose said:
I think it might be fun going out with you sometime. ;-)


It's lots of fun to go out with Ysa....... Been there, done that, gonna do it again!!
 
"Get yer coat, luv - you've pulled!" :eek:

Not forgetting the immortal: "Have you got any Italian* in you...? No? Do you want some?" (*or other relevant to the origin of the person asking)
 
Master_Wiccanman said:
My worst pick up line I have ever had tried upon me in a night club was...

"DO you wanna dance?.... I replied no, I have just come off the dance floor

to which she asked " can I buy you a drink?.. I replied No i just brought one

she then stated well I "spose a F**K is outta the question?

I had to laugh ... and reached over and took her hand...


A true story

This one could win an award. Very good!
 
Do you like me or is that a marsupial in your pocket?







*groan*

The thought made me laugh, but in translation, it lacks some umph!

:D
 
MissTaken said:
Do you like me or is that a marsupial in your pocket?







*groan*

The thought made me laugh, but in translation, it lacks some umph!

:D


hehehe.... I love it!:kiss:
 
I was buying lunchmeat today... you know, the oscar meyer stuff and remembered this one from ages ago...

"Hey, I got a hot dog what would fit your buns, just perfect."



Yea, I know.... it stunk then, too.
 
This isn't exactly a line, but ....

When I was in high school I was waiting for the bus after a really rough day. Some much older guy sits down next to me and tells me I am the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, and that he knows I am his soul mate.

First off, I am not anyone's supermodel, and second off, when I say rough day, I mean my ROTC instructor was being a dick and had us playing in the mud, push ups, laps, what have you... I was pissed off, had the worst look on my face, filthy, smelly, you get the picture. I couldn't even think what to say, it was such bullshit.

You know, why is it men persist in telling us we look beautiful when we know for a fact we are at our worst? I mean, on a bad day, I look like an escapee from the Exorcist or something... Don't tell me that I look beautiful, for gods sake. That is like telling me I am too stupid to know better. :rolleyes:
 
niteshade said:
This isn't exactly a line, but ....

When I was in high school I was waiting for the bus after a really rough day. Some much older guy sits down next to me and tells me I am the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, and that he knows I am his soul mate.

First off, I am not anyone's supermodel, and second off, when I say rough day, I mean my ROTC instructor was being a dick and had us playing in the mud, push ups, laps, what have you... I was pissed off, had the worst look on my face, filthy, smelly, you get the picture. I couldn't even think what to say, it was such bullshit.

You know, why is it men persist in telling us we look beautiful when we know for a fact we are at our worst? I mean, on a bad day, I look like an escapee from the Exorcist or something... Don't tell me that I look beautiful, for gods sake. That is like telling me I am too stupid to know better. :rolleyes:

{Serious pissed off commentary coming here Niteshade, I like you so don't take it too personal}

God DAMMIT
I fucking HATE when women take this attitude
I want ALL you bitches to get something straight
You are not MEN, you are not PSYCHICS, you CANNOT read our minds, and you DO NOT know how we think

Admittedly, at times when you look/feel your worst, a guy might be saying something just to try & get a piece of your ass

But for all you know, you might really BE the most beautiful thing he's ever seen

We have FAR different standards of attrctiveness than women do
We have our own personal likes (hell, in the story you told he might be a guy who likes messy women....there're actually fetishists for it)
And some guys find ANY woman beautiful

So before you go thinking WE think you're dumb, or assuming we're just trying to fuck you, consider that just because YOU don't FEEL beautiful doesn't mean WE don't see you that way
You wanna sulk, FINE, but dont' blame us for it

Thank you, and goodnight
 
A Desert Rose said:
"You have great legs... they'd look better wrapped around my head, though."

Actually, what I SAID was:
"You got nice legs. They'd probably look good wrapped around my head ;)"
 
James G 5 said:
{Serious pissed off commentary coming here Niteshade, I like you so don't take it too personal}

God DAMMIT
I fucking HATE when women take this attitude
I want ALL you bitches to get something straight
You are not MEN, you are not PSYCHICS, you CANNOT read our minds, and you DO NOT know how we think

Admittedly, at times when you look/feel your worst, a guy might be saying something just to try & get a piece of your ass

But for all you know, you might really BE the most beautiful thing he's ever seen

We have FAR different standards of attrctiveness than women do
We have our own personal likes (hell, in the story you told he might be a guy who likes messy women....there're actually fetishists for it)
And some guys find ANY woman beautiful

So before you go thinking WE think you're dumb, or assuming we're just trying to fuck you, consider that just because YOU don't FEEL beautiful doesn't mean WE don't see you that way
You wanna sulk, FINE, but dont' blame us for it

Thank you, and goodnight


You mean you guys MEAN that crap?
I am really sorry... I honestly didn't think it was anything other than a load of horse pucky.
Sooooo.... How are we supposed to tell the difference?
 
James G 5 said:
Actually, what I SAID was:
"You got nice legs. They'd probably look good wrapped around my head ;)"

Okay, I take that back.
Maybe they aren't so confusing after all.

LOL
 
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