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worst oral experience ever

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madmanmike

Really Really Experienced
Joined
Oct 1, 2003
Posts
462
title says it all. dont want to here about your first time or your best orgasm. i want to hear about the time you got a spurt up your nose and it burned like chlorine at a swimming pool. or the time you were licking her and she fell asleep. or the time you thought you were giving head while he was driving and he hit a pothole and you nearly died.

in short i want to read about bad oral sex. giving it or getting it. gay or straight.


heres mine.

my gf had tied me to the bed arms and legs. i was blindfolded.(wow i fantasized about that a along time) and after alot of teasing me all over she put a knee on each side of my head and lowered herself on my mouth.

now i should point out that i love to eat pussy. and she loved having it done. and this is when i was like 20 and so was she and i would lick her till she came 4 or 5 times and my jaw was sore. so i knew exactly what to do and how to do it to her.

after a while she would start pulling away from my face and going forward like she was fucking my mouth. she put her hands in my hair and i knew she was close. when she came it was very very hard. she squeeezed her theighs clamping on my head. and she pushed as hard as she could on my face while pulling my head close to her with my hair in her hands. she wanted me to push as hard as i could on her clit and i was. problem was i couldnt breathe. couldnt get any air at all.

after a moment i panicked and whe she didnt pull away i really panicked. i was tied up and couldnt move. so i did the only thing i could think of i started licking her very sensitive after orgasm clit as hard as i could. after a few seconds she moved off and i began gasping for air. she asked me why i did that and after a min i told her. she felt so bad she put the blindfold back on me and sucked till i came and then fucked me till i came again.

but it wouldnt have been a bad way to die.

whats your story?
 
I went to a prostitute when I was about twenty two. I didn't really want to have sex so I settled on some fully body massage and a blow job/hand job. She was gorgeous but absolutely terrible! She was rough as hell! She got hold of it and made motions with her arm akin to hammering in a nail. When the mouth action came it was even worse. There's me, laying there grimacing, hissing through my teeth obviously in pain and she just kept looking at me like she didn't understand my reaction, then she'd keep right on going.

That's the only bj I've ever had as well.
 
wow. i didnt expect any getting oral sex stories to be bad. but damn i got a mental image. trust me bjs are supposed to be great not painful. mabye you should have went for the sex.
 
Worst oral ever - actually hard to believe there is such a thing.

Mine was when I was in the Air Force. A female coworker had the hots for me and invited me to her apartment for dinner. We eventually ended up in the bedroom and after much very hot foreplay, I went down on her. Unfortunately, her pussy smelled absolutely horrible. She was really into it and wrapped her thighs around my head. I didn't want to say she stunk, so I soldiered on for several minutes before I finally escaped, but I almost threw up.

The rest of the sex was incredible, and I didn't really want to stop seeing her, so all of our future sex included a bath or shower together.

Drew
 
never really had a horrible bj (some bad ones, but just because of some teeth), but the first handjob i got when i was 16 left my balls hurting for about 3 days. we were standing up on the beach and she did it SO HARD and for a long time and i never got off. god that was a shitty first handjob.
 
The time the Jerk pulled out of my mouth and came all over my face. He paid for it. I put his cock back in my mouth and bit it so damn hard I drew blood. At the same time, I squeezed his balls.
 
Ouch! I almost felt the pain just reading that. LadyC. Not a woman to be trifled with..
 
Just about any experience with my ex. She wouldnt suck my cock and just lied there when I was fucking her. I eventually gave up since jerking off was just as good and alot of times better.
 
I hooked up with a friend of a friend recently. We were at his birthday party on the lake. Luckily I only knew two other people there because about 20 minutes after we escaped to his cabin a group of his friends decided to let him know that the food was ready. I was facing the door as the top of a 69 and they all burst in. The worst part is that one of them would not leave and it took me out of the mood. Fortunately, the birthday boy was good enough to help me find my way back into it and we skipped dinner in favor of desert.
 
I was drunk and went home with a guy I was not at all attracted to- I have no idea how it progressed so far. By the time we got to his place and into bed I came to my senses and told him I didn't want to have sex with him and I was sorry I was too drunk. So he said it was okay, he really just wanted to please me orally....I think those were his exact words. I said no a couple of times but finally relented. He had no idea what he was doing, I wasn't turned on at all, even if I wanted to cum he wouldn't stay in one place long enough to make it happen. Awful. I couldn't even fake one to make him feel better so I had to just tell him to stop after about 20 minutes and blamed it on the alcohol.

It was too bad because he was a pretty nice guy and one of my best customers at the bar. Didn't see him too much after that.
 
my worst time was while I was still in the boy scouts (such a stereotype, eh?)

On a few previous trips I'd hooked up with some other people and we'd go down on each other, wank each other off etc

Well on this trip same basic thing. There was a couple of us that snuck off at the nightly "campfire" (lots of bad skits, corny tales of indians and crap that bored us all) and got into a circle jerk on the other side of the lake. After a couple of minutes of this it broke up as a couple of us were going down on each other instead .. anyway the guy I seemed to have been stuck with was a complete and total loser.

after going down on him for what seemed like an eternity he goes flaccid. Happens to us all I guess, he suggests he go down on me instead--sounds good to me! He didn't try to keep his teeth back which hurt but it was occasional so I tried to ignored it at first but then he wanted to finger me. Without any lube. I had to practically kick his head off me to get away and ended up instead walking back alone and just wanking in the showers instead.
 
The absolute worst was when I was going down on the ex-wife. Yeah, the ex part should be an indicator here, huh?

I was down there doing my thing, really thinking that she was enjoying herself and getting off when she farted. It wasn't one of those little "oops, it slipped" kinda deals. It was this monsterous thing that would have made Grandpa proud.

Turns out that she was pissed and then the idea came to her when I started licking her.

Fuck her. I still remember that evil look she had and how smug she told me off. Bitch.
 
TheCarver said:
The absolute worst was when I was going down on the ex-wife. Yeah, the ex part should be an indicator here, huh?

I was down there doing my thing, really thinking that she was enjoying herself and getting off when she farted. It wasn't one of those little "oops, it slipped" kinda deals. It was this monsterous thing that would have made Grandpa proud.

Turns out that she was pissed and then the idea came to her when I started licking her.

Fuck her. I still remember that evil look she had and how smug she told me off. Bitch.
Click to expand...

One night, before he became my minion, I got carried away with the sensations Billy-boy's tongue was sending through me and I had one slip out. He stiffened for an instant, then he started rimming me!!!!
 
LadyC said:
One night, before he became my minion, I got carried away with the sensations Billy-boy's tongue was sending through me and I had one slip out. He stiffened for an instant, then he started rimming me!!!!
Click to expand...

I really have nothing to add to that.
 
My worst also happens to be my first too. I was still a virgin and didn't know any better so I went along with what happened.

He was a summer boss for a landscaping job that I had in HS. After an end of season pool party at his home, he asked me to stay over...everyone had been drinking a bit, but I wasn't that naive, that I didn't suspect that he wanted to sleep with me. Well as the evening progressed, I decided to seduce him instead.

Well we ended up in bed and eventually in a 69. He was very hairy, but had a beautiful cock, and that was the first time I had ever held another man's cock. He was also stroking my cock and it felt incredible to have someone else holding it...he eventually started to lick it and then I felt the most incredible feeling when he took my cock in his mouth. I started to do the same things to him...this was just the most unbelievable experience for me. I had suspected that I was gay, but it was then that I knew for certain. I was literally on sensory overload. So what happened???

He started to nibble on my glans and cock...chew down and bite. Mind you, I didn't know any better, and thought this was normal...but it hurt. It got so bad that I had to push him away. I thought I was doing something wrong...that I should like this, but I didn't!

Well, we ended up doing a couple of other things and falling asleep. We eventually talked about it, and ironed things out, but that was my worst and first experience.

EDIT: never had a bad time giving oral, love cum, etc. and love giving head.
 
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My girlfriend in high school was going down on me, and she thought of this idea to have this cool minty gum in her mouth while she did it. It felt pretty good, actually, never thought my bod could be that sensitive.

But what happened was that a piece got stuck on me "down there," and she couldn't get it off with her fingertips, so she tried using her teeth. It was the most physical pain I had ever felt. I almost kneed her in the head by reflex.

The moral of the story was to use Altoids instead, though I never came while with her anyway.
 
I haven't posted in a few years but I have to share my story...

I love love love oral sex - I love eating pussy. That being said, it was very sad when my ex-girlfriend was HORRIBLE at eating pussy. She did the exact same movement with her tongue the entire time and if she hit a good spot, I'd beg her to keep going and she would stop. Not in that "I want to make this last" sort of stopping, but the stopping and repositioning kind of thing. Then that tongue would just keep going in the same movement, the same speed - nothing I said encouraged her to change her "pattern".

If a woman tells you that you're doing something right, why change it?

I had to get myself off almost every night *rolls eyes* - we didn't last long lol
 
This isn't the worst experience, but it ranks right up there and you'll learn why:

It was actually my first time to eat a woman's pussy. We had been drinking and dancing for most of the night and she decided that she wanted to take me home with her. I was young and still a virgin so I thought that this would finally be the moment that I had dreamed of.

We spent a very long time showing each other just how much we like kissing and so I started making a move south with my hands. She was cool with this and even unbuttoned her blouse for me. After we both were tired of me feeling her tits through her bra, she removed it as well. All this time I was thinking that this was it, I'm finally going to lose the virginity.

Things progressed really well and soon she "told" me to take off my shirt and jeans. I'd like to say that the buttons flew, but that is mostly reserved for fictitional stories. I wiggles out of the jeans and pulled the shirt up and off. In the mean time, she stripped bare. It was my first time to ever see a woman naked and she had a really tight body. I guess I could add that we were both in the military.

Our hands roamed. We kissed deep and passionately and then she grabbed my cock. She wasn't really that gentle with it, but I didn't care. I was getting laid and that was all that mattered. When she started kissing her way down my chest, oh man...here we go! She got to the waistband of my jockies and started licking my cock through the material. Utter excitement and joy at this point.

She started pushing and pulling at me and I knew that she was wanting to 69 and so I complied without a single second thought. She wrapped a leg over me and there it was. My first up close pussy. Shaving and trimming wasn't the rage back then but she was very fair skinned and had little in way of pubic hair. That was a bonus for me because it sure made things easier to find and deal with.

She reached down and pushed my head closer and I fell into it with all the gusto that I could manage. She was really patient and would instruct me from time to time on how and where my tongue, lips, and even teeth should be used. Pretty soon she tightened up. Her thighs clamped my head like a vice and she let out this half squeal half moan sound. I had made my first woman orgasm. Not something that I could write home about, but something that I could always remember.

But then I sort of realized something. In all my excitement to taste and eat pussy for the first time, it hadn't dawned on me that she hadn't even touched my cock. Oh sure, there was the occasional brush against it, but for Pete's sake, I was still in my underwear. I made to pull them off and she stopped me.

"Wait." she said. She moved away from me and laid back on her bed with her legs spread. "Do that some more with your tongue."

I figured why not, right?

I dove back down between her legs and started feasting again. I was entranced by the texture, smell, and taste. This was better than anything that I had ever had before. Well, maybe not really good ice-cream, but you know what I mean.

I ate that woman for what seemed hours. It was like a proving ground and I had to pass the test to continue on. I can't even count the times that she came. I didn't even care that it felt as though my tongue was falling off. Nevermind that my cock felt as though it had exploded, regrown, and was now being stomped on by very angry midgets. I was eating pussy and she was cumming over and over again. I finally had found purpose in life!

Finally, as all things do, it came to an end. She was simply too tender to go any further. That was fine by me. I had this raging monster between my legs that was demanding justice. I got up on my knees in front of her. My cock was tented out far enough that a whole boy scout troop could have taken shelter. I started pulling my shorts down and.......

"What are you doing?" she asked. looking up at me with these satiated, smoldering eyes.

"I'm getting these out of the way" came my reply. I was pointing down at my obvious excitement.

"Ummm, I don't know if you realize this or not, but I'm engaged. I'm getting married in less than a month and I don't think it would be right to cheat on my boyfriend. You're going to have to leave." She was pulling the blankets up around her while she was speaking.

I didn't even know how to reply. All that effort, all those orgasms, and she was kicking me out?

I had a choice of probably the worst case of blueballs in the history of mankind or a few years locked away for misconduct, so you do the math. See why it was one of the worst oral sex stories?
 
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