Worst Movies

[Ferawyn]

Something to go with the Favourite Movies thread.

I'll start with a doozy:

Nudist Colony of the Dead

I'm watching it right now, and it is truly, utterly, awful. <wonders where that barf smily went...>

 

[AppleBiter]

Something to go with the Favourite Movies thread.

I'll start with a doozy:

Nudist Colony of the Dead

I'm watching it right now, and it is truly, utterly, awful. <wonders where that barf smily went...>

Holy Man Holy shit, was this a bad movie. We stood up and cheered when it was over, in the theater, not because it was good but because it was finally over.

The Postman This movie would've been perfect for Cliff Clavin from Cheers. Anyone who doesn't have a deep-seated interest in the US postal system should stay the fuck away from these 4 hours of Costner hell.

Bogus The fucking name says it all. It's not a title, it's a warning.

 

[cloudy]

...and, of course, the best "bad" movie of all time: Attack of the Killer Tomatos

 

[English Lady]

freddy got fingered *shudder* didn't get far into it, before it got switched off.

Mr and Mrs Smith -crap, crap, boooooring crap-switched off after 15 mins.

Chamber of secrets (Master Potter) Oh that film sucked-predictable, oh so lame.

 

[elsol]

Kids -- I want to shoot the movie makers.

sincerely,
ElSol

 

[Quiet_Cool]

I didn't mind The Postman. It was waaayyy too long, but other than that, it wasn't bad. Of course, I liked Waterworld too.



As I mentioned on the favorites thread:

The worst that I expected a lot out of: The Astronaut's Wife . Awful. Slow, without any real climax and the ending is... well, pointless. And I'm a big Depp fan (and am equipped with a pure fetish for Clea DuVal).

Q_C

 

[neonlyte]

The Cider House Rules is the most God awful ever screenplay adaption and film. It still stuns me that Irving wrote the screenplay.

Anyone read his much panned latest book?

 

[Ferawyn]

Van Hellsing. The first movie I ever walked out on halfway through.

 

[variable Xy]

I like both Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson, but not together, especially in this 2003 turd: Anger Management. It was the first flick I ever walked out on.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Van Hellsing. The first movie I ever walked out on halfway through.

I only got partway through Van Helsing as well. I walked out on Eight-legged Freaks, too. Who confused David Arquette with an actor?

Q_C

 

[Ferawyn]

I only got partway through Van Helsing as well. I walked out on Eight-legged Freaks, too. Who confused David Arquette with an actor?

Q_C

Hmm, I liked Eight-legged freaks. Or rather, I liked watching it with my (then) girlfriend squeaking in alarm at every sign of a spider leg and hiding behind/under me in ever more interesting positions...

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Hmm, I liked Eight-legged freaks. Or rather, I liked watching it with my (then) girlfriend squeaking in alarm at every sign of a spider leg and hiding behind/under me in ever more interesting positions...

Don't even know what it's about, do you? Oh, well. You got you money's worth at least. I may as well have flushed mine...

Q_C

 

[Ferawyn]

Don't even know what it's about, do you? Oh, well. You got you money's worth at least. I may as well have flushed mine...

Q_C

Umm, well, there were spiders in it. And some annoying kids... I think most of the kids got eaten, which was nice.

 

[iztheo]

We use Wing Commander as our comparision for a bad movie. Its been four years since we've seen it and nothing has displaced it as our measure of a bad movie. The only redeeming feature was we didn't pay for it.

Prior to Wing Commander, it was Jaws: The Revenge that I would measure all the rest of the dreck by. C'mon ... the shark follows them to the Bahamas?

 

[Kassiana]

The English Patient. Utterly predictable, uncharismatic "hero," glorifies adultery and Nazi-ism, and looooooong stupid death scene.

Pet Sematary. First movie I walked out of the theater on.

Saturday the Fourteenth. One of the few videos I've ever turned off. Boring, stupidly so, and ineffective parody.

Brazil. Interesting concept, horribly executed.

And the latest/newest movie to hate: Being John Malkovich. Nasty, shallow people all looking for ways to screw each other over...no thanks. If I want that, I'll stay in reality.

 

[cymry]

Uhmmm...let me see

"Moulin Rouge" was awful.

I've seen a lot of movies that sucked
but this one in particular sticks in my mind.
Of course, that is only my opinion.
I was extremely dissapointed in
"The Cronicles of Riddik" as well.
Aside from the poor acting the plot
just couldn't stay in one place long
enough to figure out what the hell they
were trying to do with it.

 

[Guest]

Out of Africa. I wish I could have walked out on it, but my date made me stay. Then I didn't even get laid.

Freddy Got Fingered. I rented the DVD. After 30 minutes I made a special trip back to the video store to return it and requested that they destroy every copy of the offensive piece of shit they had.

 

[cloudy]

Ishtar

I was working in a video rental store when it was released to video, so I got to take them home for free. Couldn't watch it past about 15 minutes....a truly horrible movie.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Town & Country - Warren Beatty / Diane Keaton
Makes the term "God Awful" seem like an understatement.

Plan 9 From Outer Space - Bela Lugosi (kinda)
The all-time, all-worst sci/fi "classic."

Rumple Foreskin

 

[cloudy]

I can't believe no one's mentioned this one yet! Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Although it is pretty funny when the martians green makeup starts to wear off partway through the film.

 

[arienette]

Wicker Man and they're remaking it! WHY?!

 

[cepm]

Eye of the Beholder

not even Ashley Judd topless could help this piece of crap with Ewan McGregor in it. You kept waiting for it to get going - then you realized it wasn't going to - so then you just waited (impatiently) for it to end!!!

 

[kendra_chailyn]

hrm

Something to go with the Favourite Movies thread.

I'll start with a doozy:

Nudist Colony of the Dead

I'm watching it right now, and it is truly, utterly, awful. <wonders where that barf smily went...>

Hrm now there is a noodle scratcher...lol..I'd have to say GLITTER with Mariah Carey...I went and got my money back after it ended and the funny part was, they handed over the money with no arguments!!

Kendra

 

[BlackShanglan]

The Cider House Rules is the most God awful ever screenplay adaption and film. It still stuns me that Irving wrote the screenplay.

Oh dear God yes. That was my first choice as well. It's like having someone tie a dogmatic point to a cinderblock and beat you over the head with it for two hours. I can't say how much I hated that movie.

Town & Country - Warren Beatty / Diane Keaton
Makes the term "God Awful" seem like an understatement.

I'm a bit jealous that you even got to see it. I'd heard how awful it was, and rather wanted to watch it just to see how bad it could get. Alas, they pulled it so quickly I never had the chance.

(On the same note, I can't believe no one has mentioned "Gigli." Must be "pulled to fast to be seen.")

Personally, I quite liked "Brazil" but was appalled by the hash Gilliam made of "The Brothers Grimm." Somewhere out there, there's a writer who wants to shoot that man. He took what had the makings of a really interesting and neatly told tale and turned into an incoherent mishmash of pointless surreal asides, incomprehensible cuts (wait - they're *where* now?), and obsessive French jokes. The acting performances are fine within each scene, but as a developing whole end up schizophrenic and utterly without motive. I think the final irony is Gilliam mocking the French for their jaded palates while himself proving so jaded in his comic tastes that he needs to depict a man eating a raw gobbet of kitten to pique his own interest. Rarely has a tale been so badly told. One learns every detail of the fine art of directorship by watching it all done consummately badly.

Oh, and "Apostle." My housemate of the time and I finished watching it because we are the sort of people who never turn off movies midway through. We then both groaned and asked what time it was - surely about six, because the movie had been about four hours long. No. Actually the movie is about ordinary length; it just really is that staggeringly dull. We honestly both thought it had been at least three and a half hours.

Shanglan

 

[SCcreampieLvr]

Bad movies

I liked Moulin Rouge (or however the hell you spell it)

BAD-
Shoulin Soccer- It was so bad I had to finish watching it so I could make fun of it

The Croc Hunter Movie- what a stinker

Monkeybone- OMG