Words for words...

[Guest]

My first request for feedback on my first story was read 66 times and never replied to. I know what that means. Polite coughs but no comments.

Well, I'm trying again. And don't be polite. I hate silence more than anything negative you might have to say.

The Green Rose is a woman's POV middle aged woman/young man story.

I'd appreciate some words back from people , even if they didn't like the story.
I've written quite a few stories and this is easily my favorite, personally. But that's just my taste.

 

[the_bragis]

10/10

Hi Josh,

You know when ever I write one of my little critiques, it's always so much easy to say what I didn't like about a story, or what I saw as wrong, rather than what I enjoyed. Maybe other people are like me. Maybe that is why you don't get heaps of feedback.

Your story is of course very well written. I'm no expert but the grammar looks spot on, there are no typos, and no spelling mistakes either... it's all A OK.

Now the story itself. I can certainly understand why you are so happy with this one. How can you top it? I'm probably going to ramble a little here, since I'm not all that good at expressing myself, and I'm a long stretch from being an expert critique or writer. So let me just say...

I loved this story. It didn't particularly excite me or get me all hot and bothered, but it made me smile. I'm still smiling. I think perhaps it's because your English. The British have a wonderful talent for laughing at themselves don't they? Betty certain does. No, I don't mean in a silly joking ha-da-ha-ha manner, it's far more subtle than that. If I was more articulate, I would probably be able to put a word to it. I love English humor, it's dry and wonderfully witty. As I was reading this I was thinking Betty could have been a character out of any number of great British sitcoms I have seen and loved. Only, this isn't really a humorous piece is it? I don't know what the word for it is. 'Dark' humor perhaps? Help me out here Josh! By the way, you really did manage to get in touch with your feminine side here didn't you? You know what else, call me crazy, as many already do, but I do understand 'The Look'. I know exactly what it is. It's only happened to me on a handful of occasions; I have never really thought much about it until now. It can happen with a complete stranger. And it's not always sexual.

This is a great read. I may have to read it again... and again...

Have a great day,
Alex (fem)

 

[damppanties]

Hi Josh,

I read 'The Green Rose' and 'Who The Fuck Are You, Anyway? Ch.2'. Now what was wierd was that chapter one was missing. You decided to start from chapter 2 and then go down to chapter one...? Or there is some problem in your memberpage? I was actually looking for the story which you wanted feedback on earlier... the one with 66 views and no replies. Here is the link to your memberpage, do check it out.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=136423

-DP.

 

[Guest]

Chapter 1 missing., Thanks for spotting , dp. I've recategorized chapter 1 as Humor and Satire -- It's now stuck in pending for ages.
I'll hang on for another week before mailing someone about it.

So anyway, how's life treating you?

 

[damppanties]

CH. 1 mystery solved!

Hope you get it posted soon. I'd like to read it. Chapter 2 was interesting. Could you please let me know when its posted. You can mail me or pm me.

Ahhh... life?? No, don't ask. Sumwat bad...

-DP.

 

[Guest]

Re: CH. 1 mystery solved!

Ahhh... life?? No, don't ask. Sumwat bad...

-DP. [/B]

Well,
Bad can be good, if you write. I know that's sort of weird sounding, but I hope you know what I mean...

 

[damppanties]

Yea... I know. Kind of....

-DP.

 

[ladyphoenix]

Green roses

Joshua,
Why IS the sky blue? I've always wondered. And anyone who writes so beautifully can surely teach me that.

 

[wolf2002]

I loved The Green Rose. Fast and funny. Good dialogue, that always seems to be the hard part...
Very refreshing to find some humor between all those deadly serious sex stories...

I rewarded you with a straight Five, now let me check what else you wrote for us...