I was wondering if I could get some advice from some other writers on this, because I've got this sinking feeling that I'm wasting or under-utilizing a subplot in my story.
It's a BDSM story about Bliservia, an island nation where female slavery is legal, a nation which came to be this way because nearly all of their women are instinctive submissive masochists. Since the country has no use for underage women, they send them overseas to be raised in freedom, knowing that 90% of them will willingly return.
The main plot revolves around an American teenage girl who, through a program agreed to by America and the Bliservian embassy in Florida, gets to wear a special collar granting her immunity to female slavery laws so she can make a documentary aboard the slave ship that enslaves all women who board it and returns them to their homeland to be sold. She mainly follows two Bliservian women who have chosen to become human livestock, on their journey from being free women to naked chattel.
One of these women, Tatiana, is a widowed suburban housewife who's something that's called a late bloomer. A woman who initially appeared to be one of the 10% of Bliservian women who do not develop submissive tendencies, only for those tendencies to surface later in life, in her case at the age of 37. Being a late bloomer, she has not had her entire puberty to get a handle on these emotions, and thus when she develops these intense feelings nearly a whole year before the next slave ship departs, she has an intense need for something to "tide her over" until then (something most Bliservian women do because the pleasure of submission is so addictive that if you go into it before you're actually slaved, you'll be a completely dysfunctional member of free society).
So, lonely and extremely sexually frustrated, she starts searching for some way to satisfy her cravings for submission, and winds up finding a ridiculously expensive verbal abuse phone sex line, and after spending nearly half of her life savings on this service over the course of a single week where she barely went outside, she rapidly spirals out of control as she lets this man's commands consume her entire life, doing whatever he says.
Over the course of the next year, she gleefully lets this man guide her down a path of depravity and degeneracy as she slowly but steadily exhausts her entire net worth out of an overwhelming sexual desire to submit to this man, and follows his commands to work as a stripper, then a prostitute, then his commands to steadily charge less and less for sex until she's basically doing it for free.
By the time Alice actually meets Tatiana, she's sold everything she owns except for a phone, a charger, a pair of high heeled shoes, and a beautiful snow-white fur coat, and what remains of her money is put in an account on a website where anybody can withdraw from it, no questions asked, as long as they know the password. On the man's orders, right after boarding is called, she gives those remaining possessions to Alice and then gives up the rest of her money over one final phonecall as she masturbates naked on the floor. And so, already devoid of all of the possessions the men on the boat would have relieved her of, she walks onto the ship to be enslaved at long last.
Basically, this is my experimentation with a femsub version of a usually overwhelmingly malesub fetish, that being findom. But the way I plan it now, Tatiana's entire backstory I just explained is going to be revealed in a single scene, the one where Tatiana has her final phone call with her dom. I chose to do it this quickly for three reasons:
1: It's experimental, I'm not sure if even I'm going to like it, and if it turns out to be a dud, I want it to be over fast.
2: If I wanted to show more of this story, it would have to be told in flashbacks while Tatiana's already on the ship, because the story starts the day of the voyage. And if I tell the rest of the story through flashbacks, well, the reader's already seen the climax, so why bother?
3: I'm not sure if I have room in the story to do justice to anything more than a summary from an increasingly horny woman without making it needlessly long, because none of the other characters have backstories that sexy.
But I've got a sinking feeling I'm thinking about this wrong, that this is a massively wasteful condensation of a subplot I could make work if I structure things a little differently, so I thought I'd run it past other writers for their thoughts. Hopefully I've explained everything properly!
It's a BDSM story about Bliservia, an island nation where female slavery is legal, a nation which came to be this way because nearly all of their women are instinctive submissive masochists. Since the country has no use for underage women, they send them overseas to be raised in freedom, knowing that 90% of them will willingly return.
The main plot revolves around an American teenage girl who, through a program agreed to by America and the Bliservian embassy in Florida, gets to wear a special collar granting her immunity to female slavery laws so she can make a documentary aboard the slave ship that enslaves all women who board it and returns them to their homeland to be sold. She mainly follows two Bliservian women who have chosen to become human livestock, on their journey from being free women to naked chattel.
One of these women, Tatiana, is a widowed suburban housewife who's something that's called a late bloomer. A woman who initially appeared to be one of the 10% of Bliservian women who do not develop submissive tendencies, only for those tendencies to surface later in life, in her case at the age of 37. Being a late bloomer, she has not had her entire puberty to get a handle on these emotions, and thus when she develops these intense feelings nearly a whole year before the next slave ship departs, she has an intense need for something to "tide her over" until then (something most Bliservian women do because the pleasure of submission is so addictive that if you go into it before you're actually slaved, you'll be a completely dysfunctional member of free society).
So, lonely and extremely sexually frustrated, she starts searching for some way to satisfy her cravings for submission, and winds up finding a ridiculously expensive verbal abuse phone sex line, and after spending nearly half of her life savings on this service over the course of a single week where she barely went outside, she rapidly spirals out of control as she lets this man's commands consume her entire life, doing whatever he says.
Over the course of the next year, she gleefully lets this man guide her down a path of depravity and degeneracy as she slowly but steadily exhausts her entire net worth out of an overwhelming sexual desire to submit to this man, and follows his commands to work as a stripper, then a prostitute, then his commands to steadily charge less and less for sex until she's basically doing it for free.
By the time Alice actually meets Tatiana, she's sold everything she owns except for a phone, a charger, a pair of high heeled shoes, and a beautiful snow-white fur coat, and what remains of her money is put in an account on a website where anybody can withdraw from it, no questions asked, as long as they know the password. On the man's orders, right after boarding is called, she gives those remaining possessions to Alice and then gives up the rest of her money over one final phonecall as she masturbates naked on the floor. And so, already devoid of all of the possessions the men on the boat would have relieved her of, she walks onto the ship to be enslaved at long last.
Basically, this is my experimentation with a femsub version of a usually overwhelmingly malesub fetish, that being findom. But the way I plan it now, Tatiana's entire backstory I just explained is going to be revealed in a single scene, the one where Tatiana has her final phone call with her dom. I chose to do it this quickly for three reasons:
1: It's experimental, I'm not sure if even I'm going to like it, and if it turns out to be a dud, I want it to be over fast.
2: If I wanted to show more of this story, it would have to be told in flashbacks while Tatiana's already on the ship, because the story starts the day of the voyage. And if I tell the rest of the story through flashbacks, well, the reader's already seen the climax, so why bother?
3: I'm not sure if I have room in the story to do justice to anything more than a summary from an increasingly horny woman without making it needlessly long, because none of the other characters have backstories that sexy.
But I've got a sinking feeling I'm thinking about this wrong, that this is a massively wasteful condensation of a subplot I could make work if I structure things a little differently, so I thought I'd run it past other writers for their thoughts. Hopefully I've explained everything properly!
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