wondering how you changed

[kinkyphillycoup]

Hello my wife and i are into bdsm and we have a master/sub relationship. well we are getting ready to have our first child. i was curious as to what changes occured in what you(your)doms required from your subs(or you as the sub) we have some standard rules that i know will have to be changed once we have the baby such as my sub not allowed to were clothing while in the home, certain long term punishments. Any imput will be appricated.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[omniavincet]

I'll ditto CutieMouse's advice. Having a baby will really change your lives. We have three and to this day I believe our first kid not only disrupted our lives (in both good and crazy ways) but changed who we are. Hard to predict and plan for, but being exhausted, freaked out, strung out, exhilirated, proud, etc. are probable. D/s or not you really need to respect the physical and mental/emotional toll on your wife - I remember a cousin of mine came to me about six months after his wife had given birth and asked me if she was ever going to want to have sex again. Don't be surprised if things change for a while! This does not include the obvious stuff about doing things around kids...if you poke around you'll find earlier threads about that - different people find different comfort levels with what's okay with kids in the house.

OV

 

[Theralie]

you know what might be interesting research? Sarah McBroden's Submissive Reflections blog ... http://www.submissivereflections.blogspot.com/

She talks about her own ways of dealing with the M/s relationship between her boyfriend (who then became her husband) and through her pregnancy and the birth of their child. You'll have to look back through the archives to find the beginning but she writes beautifully and sincerely and could perhaps offer you some insight and comfort about now.

She's also open to comments and such, so maybe messaging her could give you a first hand account.

 

[Theralie]

Oh I quickly looked, http://submissivereflections.blogspot.com/2006_01_01_archive.html

Jan 16th is when she finds out she's pregnant. So if you read from there you can track her whole process

... i'm done now...

 

[oneguy4fun]

You need to set the expectation that things are going to change and that kids become your focal point and D/s will not be the primary focus anymore. Doesn't mean you have to stop. Your frequency of D/s will probably be reduced or you might have to find more private or subtle ways to play. Some things we do:

- Plan regular sessions (every Monday I give her a bath and massage). Don't get worked up if your plans get screwed up (e.g. kids wakes up).

-Do things at night and lock the door

-We leave fun erotic notes for each other

-Pan weeked or day getaways to play. Next Monday I'm taking off work and we're going to have fun while they are at school

-Find secret ways to dominate such as wear things under clothing, quick teases here and there, tasks or chores that can be done outside the house or when kids are not home.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

Interesting thread. I really don't have advice but I do wish you good luck and a happy journey with the new baby. Don't mind me if I just hang out here and read posts.

 

[Etoile]

I agree 100% that baby comes first. I don't care who takes care of it, but baby must come first. If the mother is a complete slave, just being used for breeding, then the father can take care of the baby while the mother goes back in her cage. Whatever. But no matter what, baby comes first. If baby is crying and needs a diaper change, father does NOT get to say "you're my slave and I say you have to give me a blowjob first." Nope. Baby is the #1.

 

[kinkyphillycoup]

Thank you all--oneguy4fun that you for the ideas that was something along the lines that i was looking for. As for the baby changing our lives i know that will happen and i am aware that for a while things will have no normalcy. I agree that the baby will come first no matter what. Thank you for the link to the blog too i will go on late and read that. I love my wife and want only what is the best for her wether in our D/s lives or in other aspects of our lives. We are together for the rest of our lives and the D/s is only a part of who we are. That being said i cannot wait till our child is here. thank you all again for your imput