HumpDayHoratio
Slightly Aged
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2022
- Posts
- 2,603
Butters, you bring up some great points and honestly some things that have been gnawing at the back of my brain for a while. What if we are just meant to wind down? Mentally I’m not there but I wonder how much of that is propped up by Lit and porn and yes the incessant ads and society telling us “how” we should be.s'okay, i sailed through menopause at 50, no noticeable symptoms. They waited a whole 10 years to show the fuck up. i'm now 64, husband's 72. I have to take a little care of my back and this limits us a bit position-wise though we do try and change things up with where, when, position with oral.
additional weight, thinning of vaginal tissue causing it to split almost every time we engaged in penetrative sex, a bunch of yeast infections till we got a handle on things, and a lack of sex drive mostly fueled by the discomfort and additional weight. Orgasms are like unicorns, since as much as i love oral sex it becomes too uncomfortable just about at the point when my clit's getting really interested. Very gentle oral works best, before penetrative sex, and masturbation is pretty much out of the question since the discomfort's not worth the unlikelihood of reaching O.
since i'm on a hypertension pill i cannot take hrt. So we've compromised by lots of lube, no pressure, and a willingness on my part to engage in oral at least once a week if not twice (almost always it's the starter to any sex we enjoy, anyway). We tend to manage things twice a week: once, oral for him—which i enjoy giving as it pleases me make him O—and the second time is generally penetrative. I might not O, but i still get pleasure from it and the intimacy. It takes a good three days, even with the lube, for my bits to feel 'recovered' and the splitting is rare now since we've worked out the best amounts of lube to use. Things can get super slippy, though, so care needs to be taken and there's not a lot of movement on my part, lol., and he hits my clit, it feels like it's been ripped off and that is NOT a good feeling!
So anyway, we still manage to get somethin'' somethin' about twice a week, even if it's not with the same passion and drive we had when we first met about 10 years ago.
Having said all this, if both partners have great companionship, shared as well as individual interests, and both are not feeling so sexy as they get older, what's wrong with dropping the sex? Men shouldn't feel guilty if they have ED issues as they age, just as women shouldn't feel pressured if they no longer have a sex drive. Yes, sex can be great, but it shouldn't be the lynchpin of a marriage/partnership. The IS a lot of pressure put on men to take ED meds to prolong sex into their 80s, and women are expected to make sex almost as much a priority as they age as it was when they were twenty! All i'm saying is that evaluate your relationships and see how they would suffer, or not; you might be surprised. ED and HRT were there for reasons other than getting your jollies in your old age, but business has a vested interest in making you feel you need to be 'young, slim & sexayyy'. Both being on the same page, though, there's the rub.
One last thing: i've known women whose husbands agreed their sex lives were pretty much a lovely memory, only to find their libido returning once all pressure was off!
Having said all that, some of the issues you mentioned my wife was experiencing. Not sure if you looked at a reply I posted on page 1 but it has some web links to some products my wife has had some success with. Maybe worth a look.
Best of luck!