women
- Thread starter HARDKOREBJ
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Re: Clap, clap, clap...
Amen to that
lilminx said:Well-put, Pagan Cowgirl
Amen to that
Natalie Nessus
Gypsy Soul
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Re: Re: Clap, clap, clap...
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Willing and Unsure
Stuffed Animal Princess
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pagancowgirl said:Look, I'm from a small town too... grew up in one and moved to one even smaller. I now live in a town of 481 people... that's right... less than 500 people! And ya know what? I have more friends now than I did living in the city.
We don't have bowling alleys, miniature golf, not even a bar. There is literally nothing in town except the library, the funeral home and 6 churches. And it DOESN'T FREAKING MATTER because I'm happy here, I'm happy with my life, and I'm happy with who I am. People sense that, are drawn to that, and want to be around me. It's not because I'm beautiful, super intelligent, amazingly witty (though i AM all of the above)... it's first and foremost because I made myself happy before I inflicted myself on others. You can't go around you're whole damned life waiting for that one perfect person to make you complete. You need to be a whole person on your own and then you get the bonus of a partner to share yurself with.
So get the hell off the pity wagon, get your ass out there and meet people... go out with the guys after work... drink a soda if you don't want liquor... spend days off at a library, a park, the laundromat... go ANYPLACE there are other people. You can't meet anyone if you're living like a drone.
Hey, it's harsh, I know... and I'm not telling you to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself, but stop it with the 'poor pitiful me' shit. ok?
what she said
I don't know you well enough to speak to your condition but I can share a little of my own experience. When I was younger I sucked around women, I either felt insecure and avoided them and sulked because I couldn't meet any girls or I tried to hard and put them off.
Finally I just said fuck it and decided not to care what other be thought of me and stopped trying to find the perfect girl. I started treating girls like people and made friends, and when I wasn't looking for her I met my first love.
Finally I just said fuck it and decided not to care what other be thought of me and stopped trying to find the perfect girl. I started treating girls like people and made friends, and when I wasn't looking for her I met my first love.
Shy Tall Guy
Literotica Guru
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What Loki said - what have you got to loose? The others are right too - people don't like being around a person who is depressed, complaining and constantly down on themselves. Cheer up a little, engage in some friendly chatter, a little friendly flirting and people will respond in kind.loki said:
I get down sometimes too - just look at my attitude the last couple of days - but I try not to let it keep me down, and my friends here are good at cheering me up. A good laugh can work wonders for your attitude.
HKBJ - if I remember right you are young and you have your whole life in front of you. I would give just about anyyhting to be your age again. Things won't be this way forever unless you keep the attitude that they will and keep letting them overwhelm you. You've got a job - I don't, you've got your whole life in front of you, I don't - it sounds to me like you are in a better position than me to find happiness. take advantage of your position - you won't be there again. And have some patience - if you work at it for a while it will come to you.
The one thing you can't replace is time - so stop wasting it here complaining about how pitiful your situation is.
Oh, and please try to make your thread titles more interesting, descriptive and upbeat; "Poll: poll" or "read this" can't compete with other thread titles.
YogiBare
Not Your Average Bare
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Please pay attention, BJ
BJ, it is your neediness and your depression that comes screaming through your posts. You're obviously a good kid trying to make the most of a difficult situation. But you're not going to find what you need here on Literotica. Or on any other web site. Or in the arms of any woman.
You've gotten great feedback here from a lot of people, including some heartfelt mothering from the Lovely Ladies of Literotica. There's a lot of hope for you but you must start with an acknowledgement that you're not where you want to be right now, and are not ready for a healthy romantic/sexual relationship with a woman. You have to start working on your relationship with yourself.
I would add two suggestions to those you have already received. First, find out where the nearest Al-Anon meeting is and get your but there. This week. And every week, until it starts to feel like home. You said that your father ruined his life with alcohol. Al-Anon will show you how to begin to reverse the crippling effects that his drinking has had on you.
Second, find yourself a qualified mental health professional (perhaps through the county department of mental health) and get yourself evaluated for clinical depression. I think that we all hear a lot of depression in your posts, and your life and your happiness will improve dramatically when you get the appropriate treatment.
I hope that you can take in all of the caring that you've gotten here and will act on some of the suggestions.
Yogi "When you come to the fork in the road, take it." (Yogi Berra)
BJ, it is your neediness and your depression that comes screaming through your posts. You're obviously a good kid trying to make the most of a difficult situation. But you're not going to find what you need here on Literotica. Or on any other web site. Or in the arms of any woman.
You've gotten great feedback here from a lot of people, including some heartfelt mothering from the Lovely Ladies of Literotica. There's a lot of hope for you but you must start with an acknowledgement that you're not where you want to be right now, and are not ready for a healthy romantic/sexual relationship with a woman. You have to start working on your relationship with yourself.
I would add two suggestions to those you have already received. First, find out where the nearest Al-Anon meeting is and get your but there. This week. And every week, until it starts to feel like home. You said that your father ruined his life with alcohol. Al-Anon will show you how to begin to reverse the crippling effects that his drinking has had on you.
Second, find yourself a qualified mental health professional (perhaps through the county department of mental health) and get yourself evaluated for clinical depression. I think that we all hear a lot of depression in your posts, and your life and your happiness will improve dramatically when you get the appropriate treatment.
I hope that you can take in all of the caring that you've gotten here and will act on some of the suggestions.
Yogi "When you come to the fork in the road, take it." (Yogi Berra)
HARDKOREBJ
sweet southern guy
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- Oct 20, 2000
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- 2,599
I AGREE
i do need to get out more.i will try it when i get some wheels.thanks for all of you who responded.
i do need to get out more.i will try it when i get some wheels.thanks for all of you who responded.
Natalie Nessus
Gypsy Soul
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- Apr 27, 2001
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