Women!! You have to love em!!!

[Magic Merlin]

To Golden,,,

...Me, I rip open the box, put the contraption together without reading the instructions (sometimes I don't even know what it is i'm building.testosterone..don't fail me now..gotta impress the female). Of course all I'm left with after I'm done is a bunch of one of a kind inventions that no other human has ever thought of.......<and a garage full of spare parts that I'm going to build something with some day?????? Yea, right you are dear!! I've heard that before..>

Shyguy, that is an excellent one. Women, why is it you never go the bathroom alone when your out in public? Us men don't do that.

Of course there are exceptions to all of these differences. I will stop and ask for directions more than I use to, but there are still times I won't. Of course nowadays I keep my handy atlas with me

Another one I thought of is men tend to open presents by ripping the wrapping off. A lot of women, both present and past, I've known, slowly undo the tape or ribbon being very careful not to damage the paper. Then they agonizingly (to me at least) and very carefully take the wrapping paper off and fold it up....Folding it up for what??...Wrapping paper was made to be used once...Thats why it tears so easy...whats up with that???

Anymore thoughts on this????

And I really do want to know why most women don't like the three stooges....

[This message has been edited by magic merlin (edited 05-07-2000).]

 

[Xander]

Oh, I have to back my fellow country man here.

Yes. Women tend to go to the bathroom together, all the time. I havn't seen any men do that.

What are they doing out there, that it takes at least two at the time??????
Hmmmm, if I could just be a fly on the wall........

 

[Bossy Aussie]

I, for one, boys, do not (usually) need someone in the bathroom with me. So there.

But, if and when another lass does accompany me to the restroom, we usually pee, wash up, freshen up, talk a bit and then leave the bathroom...I know that I do not enjoy public restrooms and would not want to stay in one any longer than I had do. So, Xander, Love, ya can just eat those words.

Bossy

 

[Guest]

Oh!! Oh!! I've been silently waiting to give my opinion on a worthy topic and this is it.....

Why do men always leave the toilet seat up after they have used the bathroom???

My four brothers and father did that as a kid and now i'm married with a husband (trained very well

two teenaged boys and a 10year old girl. I got the husband over this years ago, but my two wonderful teenaged boys can never to put down the lid when they are finished in the bathroom.....What is it with you guys??

Is it genetic???? Will one of you guys give me an answer to this very important question?

As for the 3 stooges - there ok, but the guys do love them. Silly men???

 

[Magic Merlin]

Me and the GF had several other couples over for a barbecue last night and in the course of the evening the topic came up of whether South America was indeed futher east than Florida. So being the typical male, I whipped out my handy dandy full-coloured world atlas (don't most of us guys have them?) and proceeded to settle the question.

Well, in the course of the next few hours it was observed by one of the females in our group that every male looked at the atlas at least twice during the course of the evening. By that I mean, all of us guys at different times of the night, picked up the atlas and just started thumbing threw it. And this seemed to fascinate the females....Because not one of them really was interested in looking at the atlas.

One of the wives then made the comment, that if her OB/GYN had an atlas in her waiting room, her husband probably wouldn't complain so much when she had to "drag" him along to doctor's appointments (their trying to have a little one).

All of the other women agreed, and thought how funny it was that men could get so distracted by "silly maps", as they put it. Us guys, being the manly men we are, totally disagreed, saying that most guys like that sort of thing. Well guys, you can imagine how funny the women thought that was...

This led to further discussions of the "silly things" men do or like,that women just do not understand about "Us" men.

Therefore, to get to the point of this post, I thought I would put the question out there to all of you (men and women) who frequent this place, "What other silly differences have all of you noticed between Men and Women?"

Here are two others all of us agreed on:

1. Women will stop and ask for directions when they are lost. Most men, for whatever reason, will not. (the guys quickly conceded this one without any arguement.)

2. Most men love the "Three Stooges". Most women do not, and have no comprehension why grown men like them (as the women put it). (women be careful on this one, us guys take this very seriously.)

So, to all of you, "What other "silly differences" has each of you noticed between the sexes?"

 

[Golden]

Mrs G unpacks the box and starts to put whatever we bought together or to take it apart; I meanwhile read the instructions from page 1 to page 452 before making any attempt to assemble or repair ...

However most of our friends are the ohter way around, so we assume Mrs G is exploring her male side and me my female one ...

 

[ShyGuy68]

MM

One thing jumped into my mind when I read your topic:

Why is it women go to the bathroom with a friend, I don't see that happen very often with men!

I don't mind stop for directions, at a period I drove around and delivered waterbeds from time to time, so it was much quicker if I stopped and asked for directions! lol

As for the 3 stooges, well being from Denmark I haven't seen much of them, so I can't say I like them or dislike them.


ShyGuy

 

[Jade]

I love to travel and love looking at an atlas, however, I suppose there are always exceptions to anything.

I have noticed one interesting thing about boys and girls as opposed to men and women...

little boys tend to try solving their differences physically, (I am going to bite you, hit you, etc.

little girls tend to solving the same differences with words and emotionality (I hate you! I am not going to be your friend anymore!!, etc.)

Again, there are ALWAYS exceptions, but having pretty extensive experience in the world of childcare, this is one of the constant things I have observed.

~Jade

 

[Earthgoddess]

Okay here is the real truth MM, we women go to the ladies room to exchange our carefully folded wrapping paper...Now no one will trade with me, as I have broken the secret code...we use it to create fabulous secret weapons that enable us to continually lose only one of your socks when we wash them and to record you leaving up the toliet seat...My hubby does that but my son doesn't...Small heinies tend to topple in when the seat is left up...It happened once and now he always puts it down..still training the hubby.Is it just east coast males that feel it necessary to be the designated bug remover? If a bug is noted he has to grandly mount an expedition to attempt its elimination..that is why the fruit flies were so bad...

 

[Magic Merlin]

Sounds as if our husband and I could be of one mind..until the damn bugs pay rent, I will not rest until i have evicted every last one of them.

Of course, here on the west coast, at least where I live, you can't let anyone see you offing the little buggers, otherwise they accuse you of killing the spirit of one of their dead relatives. (California???) <Don't glare at me, LL, I said where I live in Calif.

)

For that toilet seat thing, see how valuable a lesson he learned from experience, as opposed to just being told (that is a cute story though

)


***So....I see you called my bluff over in RPG. Your making things very hard I'll have you know

)

 

[Fubar]

We all know its impossible for a human to listen to two conversations at a time. Mmm obviously they have never studied a group of woman out, they all talk at the same time and understand each others conversations.

A group of women can also talk about the most intimate things regarding sex, men would normally not go into such detail.

The toilet seat thing. Well do as you do in a pubic toilet girls, hover over the bowl! See we men have all the answers

 

[Fubar]

We all know its impossible for a human to listen to two conversations at a time. Mmm obviously they have never studied a group of woman out, they all talk at the same time and understand each others conversations.

A group of women can also talk about the most intimate things regarding sex, men would normally not go into such detail.

The toilet seat thing. Well do as you do in a public toilets girls, hover over the bowl! See we men have all the answers

 

[Lasher]

I have never, ever understood the irrational need for women to always have the toilet seat down. I mean, really, if you're going to use the toilet, you can obviously see if the seat is up or down and then place it in the appropriate position. Hell, what's the damn difference if I put it down when I'm down or if a woman puts it down when she needs it down? I've always been annoyed by the whole thing. That's why I always leave the seat up when I'm done - if only for the sake of principle.

Umm...the directions thing. I would never, ever, ever ask anyone for directions - that would mean conceding that someone knows something that I don't. I would never allow that to happen.

I do have maps all over the damn place. I lived in Pittsburgh for most of the last 8 years, and I still keep a Pittsburgh city map in the car (anyone that's had to drive here would understand).

Hate the 3 Stooges. Ugh.

Here's one that bugs me - why do women insist on asking their men any of the following questions:

"Do I look ______ in this" (fill in blank with fat, skinny, etc...)

"Do you think this looks good together?"

"Which of these do you like better?"

"How does my hair look?"

I could go on and on. Do you realize it's impossible for a man to give an honest anwer to those type questions? And in most cases we really don't care.

 

[Golden]

toilet seat mystery ... in our house the boys and I are all trained to put it down; but equally we could called argue that Mrs G should always leave it up for the next person ....

 

[Nobody Special]

LMAO at fubar, You know I came up with the perfect anser too. Guys don't lift the seat up. learn to aim a lil better, and hey if you miss, let her find it and sit in it then she wont be bothered by the seat being up any more.

And hey I wouldn't mind helping the ladies in the ladies room either.

but my offer keeps getting declined

All I want to do is help, yea that's it, I just want to help is all.

E

 

[Angelique]

Here goes, boys & girls...

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20,even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she
does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

 

[Vixen]

Irrational need, Lasher?

You simply have not lived until you have crawled out of bed in the middle of the night, blind as a bat without glasses, gone to the bathroom (of course I didn't turn on any lights, it's the middle of the night, the light hurts my eyes, and I know where the toilet is!), sat down, and kept on going. Into the water. Which was cold.

 

[Magic Merlin]

LMAO @ those last two, Vixen and Angelique. Loved the one about women paying $2 for a $1 item that they don't need.

I had a GF about 10 years ago that loved to shop. Nothing unusual about that, except she would buy things and return 3 out 5 items she bought. It was a regular pattern. When men buy something, they never return it unless its torn or doesn't work.

Vixen, I appreciate your story. i had that happen once and taught me to turn the lights on. Something real scary that happened to me as a kid was going into the bathroom in the middle of the night, same scenario as you, except that I had four teenaged sisters. I went in one night, half asleep and decided not to turn the lights on. Being only about nine years old I felt something cold, damp and stringing brush against my face and shoulders. So, being scared, I try to brush it away and I become enveloped in a tangle of cold wet things and run out of the bathroom screaming bloody murder

. Woke everyone in house up and my parents come running. I tell them what happened and my dad goes and checks it out. What was it? It was my sisters pantyhose, all hung up in the bathroom to dry out.....about 5 or 6 pairs......To this day pantyhose terrifies me.........

[This message has been edited by magic merlin (edited 05-07-2000).]

 

[Lasher]

Sorry about your luck, Vixen, but funny thing is that in the same situation I'm able to lift that sucker right up no problem, no matter how drunk I've been. I know that thing swings both ways.

Sorry, Angelique, but I love my cats. They're as important to me as any other person's children would be to them. I know they sure as hell eat better than I do.

OH, and those are only the Nicknames we would use when the women are around. Once you're gone they get far more colorful.

 

[Angelique]

LMAO...sorry Lasher...didn't mean you personally. Was just an old e-mail I dug up once I saw this post.

As for the nicknames...I don't even want to know!

 

[Wizard]

Great threads tonight lmao

 

[Lasher]

LMAO, Angelique, understood. I just like being the exception that proves the rule.

 

[Angelique]

Ahhhh...Lasher...the proverbial thorn in my side tonight!

See how guilty you had me feeling! The name Angelique should indicate how pure, innocent, and angelic I am! Obviously YOU can see the horns behind the halo, huh? LOL

 

[Lasher]

Ummm...missed the horns, but I did see that you are from Ohio - home of my In-Laws, the Cleveland Browns, and people who come to a complete stop before making a left turn. Heheehe....

Please, please, please tell me you're not from Cleveland - I can forgive a lot, but some things cannot be overlooked!

 

[Angelique]

Lasher, you're in luck! I'm just a wee bit north of Akron. Cleveland scares the HELL out of me! And yes, I ALWAYS make a complete stop before making a lefthand turn.