Women like erotica?!

whiteboy

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Apr 20, 2002
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I know this sounds really sexist to most people but I was taught at a young age that women thought of sex as being exploitation of women weather pornography or just erotica. I just feel really stupid right now and actually kinda happy to be honest. It's nice to know that some women out their don't completely hate men or erotica or pornography.

It's also made me rethink about how I should write my stories for the future. :)
 
Yeah, I got the same indoctrination, Whiteboy. But when I found out that I like porn/erotica too, I couldn't go on mentally chastising men for liking it. ;)
 
Glad to see that your eyes have been opened.

That train of thought is pretty common unfortunately, but women like erotica just as much as men do (if not more). Feeling sexy (and horny) isn't limited to just men.

Just remember that your stories WILL have a female audience.:)
 
well...

It just seems that their is so much hype about how pornography victimizes women, etc. Well I havn't found this to be true ever since I've read pornography or erotica I have women do happen to like it a lot more than is stereotyped out there. Maybe women are just more hidden about it?
 
I used to think to myself "Ewww...people writing about sex? GROSS!" LOL That was 5 years ago. Sometimes I would get so hot and bothered and my man wouldn't be around so I'd grab penthouse letters or something similar and masterbate while I read it. Now, I can do it online and always have freash material, and having a scroll button on the mouse helps soo much! LOL
I think I enjoy writing more than masturbating though. I like the thought of turning men and women on. It makes me feel hornier than normal!;)
 
The general stereotype breakdown seems to be that men like visual stuff (nekkid pics, dirty movies) and women like written stuff (bodice rippers, etc.). YMMV, naturally.

Speaking strictly for myself, as a woman, I am turned more off than on by the so-called "adult" videos I've seen, but I am inclined to believe it's more because I've yet to find a good one amid the drek.

I don't usually read the traditional romance novel either, though I've seen enough to know that some of them are downright naughty, not just the Harlequin kiss-in-front-of-the-fire-fade-to-black. But erotica novels and short story collections? Bring 'em on! ;)

Sabledrake
 
adult movies vs stories

Well I happen to like a lot of stories and novels but I don't really care much for movies in general. I guess it's that old fashioned aspect of myself because men are supposed to be visual... I just like what I like and try to make stories that appeal to the people I write them for.
 
bad acting

I have trouble watching porn movies because of the acting. Acting is rather a difficult process, and few actors of any (theatrical) talent and skill are willing to participate in making "pornos." Truthfully, most of the porn actors I have seen couldn't get the lead in a community theatre production.

I don't mind watching the attractive people have sex--but the sheer annoyance that I feel when any of them speak makes me wish I had just downloaded a 2-minute internet clip of people having sex. As a "visually-stimulated" male, I guess that's all I wanted anyway.

I find really bad writing as distracting as really bad acting, but since writing erotica--or porn--is a much more private and anonymous process, there are many very skillful writers who are willing to do it. When these writers create a story, they make the characters or the situation so exciting that the sex emerges as a natural result, and it therefore becomes more fulfilling on an emotional level. There's something more to their depiction of sex than friction and grunting. I think that is what draws more women to erotic-lit than to "pornos." I guess it's what draws me, too.

---darkness_d---
 
When it comes to porn movies, what I dislike most, even beyond the horrific scripts and acting and the way they all seem to have been shot in somebody's garage, is that the sex hardly ever looks like anything I'd want to do.

The women rub themselves like Aladdin needing to talk to the genie NOW-NOW-NOW and it hurts just watching. The positions seem to range from uncomfortable to impossible, or at least impossible for anyone who's not a gymnast with amazingly strong calves.

I worry that men might watch that and think it's what all women want. Some might, sure, but if any guy ever grabbed my nipple in his teeth or wanted to go at me like a jackhammer from behind so hard that my vertebrae collapsed ... no thanks.

What I like about written erotica is that it can be idealized. Less messy and sweaty than real sex, with no problems about how there's no place to put that one arm always in the way. It can be more about the emotion and sensation than the actual process of sex. That's what appeals to me.

Sabledrake
 
Bad Acting

Well I think a lot of my annoyances are bad acting as well because I used to watch porn movies a lot and still do at times but what gets to me is the corny acting. The uncomfortable positions, another is the fact a lot of high heels on and I doubt most women have sex with high heels on.

Too many things about porn movies distract me from the scene that they're trying to create.
 
Erotica and porn

I see erotica and porn as two completely seperate things.

PORN: degrades and uses women, doesn't include the woman's pleasure, calls women "bitches" and "whores" and especially in descriptions on the internet increasingly refers to women as "fuck toys" for men. Women in porn are non entities with no reason for life and breath but to please a man and worship his cock. They are penetrated by animals, strange objects, foods, liquids, etc. with no thought as to the health and safety of the woman. Women are fucked harshly (in every orifice and by one or more men) , told to "take it, bitch" put into positions where they're moved about like rag dolls, slapped, choked, and after the man ejaculates, they're cummed on and tossed aside as 'good little girls.' I've even seen porn where a man fucked a girl in her ass then fucked her in her vagina -- a definite no no due to health risks and bacteria that are in the anus that can give the vagaina an infection. Men in these films also marvel at their own penises, don't speak to the women in any way but to put them down, and sometimes even just talk to each other about their progress, as if the woman isn't there: "Yeah, that's a good ass" "Fuck her, man."

Like, hello? They look absurd doing that, anyway. I especially laugh at the hand on the ass surveying his penis pose. The man fucks the woman doggystyle and, as he fucks her he leans back slightly and puts one hand on his own ass and the other on the small of the woman's back and just thoughtfully watches his own penis, as if it's the most amazing thing he ever saw.

EROTICA: I find erotica to be hot, sexy, arousing, satisfying and not something that puts down women but acknowledges their passion and pleasure, acknowledges that they're giving just as much as the man is giving, and they're in just as much power. It's a more willing setup (even in fetish S&M , it's consensual). Erotica as it should be (not as it ALWAYS is) does not cheapen sex by cheapening half its partners. The man and the women are vital to sex, unless you're reading gay erotica, and each have a share in what's happening. Erotica doesn't arouse through the use of power but through the power of sex itself.

whiteboy, I would think that most males are very much taught the same as you were. look at most of these sites : they're littered with woman demeaning descriptions and photos. Women as ornaments, women as objects, women as toys. Play for a while and then pick up a new one, throw the old one away. And the women in porn strangely don't seem to care that their assholes are being stretched about 2 or 3 inches wide open. Does anyone watch this and just think, "Man, these people are crazy!" How does she go home and live? She's a person, and I don't think people should be abused like that and have the audience think a) she enjoys it b) other women also will enjoy it and c) she doesn't go home with hemmorhoids or pain or intestinal problems due to the abuse of her asshole.

There's a diff between anal sex and ramming his big thick pole up there like a jackhammer, as someone else pointed out.

Yes women do love sex. Women can be visial as well, but let me ask you, what's to SEE? What are women given to look at? We're given tits and ass. Great if you're lesbian (as men hope we all are but alas, that's just a load of bull) but what if you're not? Hetero men get to see tits and ass in just about every print as, commercial., movie and TV show. What about women? We're told we aren't visual and that we don't like sex but that's a LIE.

I don't think men could stand it if they admitted women are just as horny of not hornier than they are. It's just that women who like sex are put down, calls tramps and whores and are outcasted. Would you admit you loved sex if you were treated like that for it? And the media backs up that idea by consistantly producing more T&A instead of some cocks and hot chests and ass for us women.

If men admitted women liked sex, they'd have to start feeding us sex that's tailored to what we want to see. And men don't wantto see other man half naked! THAT is why you don't see it -- it makes MEN uncomfortable. Screw what the women want, right?

On top of that, if men started being projected as ornaments for women, there'd be a larger pull on them to be good looking. More pressure to measure up. Men can't deal with that.

Right now we have ugly, old, balding, fat men on TV. They're often married to thin, wispy pretty young wives. We're told that america doesn't WANT to see ugly women or heavy women. Then why are they showing me all these ugly men for pete's sake? Like I want to look at THEM?

Putting ugly men on TV and in media gives them acceptance and sanctioning. They're protected and accepted as OK, good enough for TV. Yet less than perfect women are an abomination to the airwaves.

Yes, I have a lot to say. I am woman, hear me roar.

And that's all I have to say about that...for now.
 
SweetSexyLady said:
I used to think to myself "Ewww...people writing about sex? GROSS!" LOL That was 5 years ago. Sometimes I would get so hot and bothered and my man wouldn't be around so I'd grab penthouse letters or something similar and masterbate while I read it. Now, I can do it online and always have freash material, and having a scroll button on the mouse helps soo much! LOL
I think I enjoy writing more than masturbating though. I like the thought of turning men and women on. It makes me feel hornier than normal!;)

LOL! :D

BTW, arrow down key works just as well, IMO. :p
 
It's funny, Whiteboy; I thought women were the only ones who liked erotica. I was actually surprised, when I started coming here a few weeks ago, to realize that men were reading and writing it too! I always assumed men were only intereseted in watching porn or looking at graphic pictures. I had no idea they'd be into reading erotic stories.
 
No I'll agree with white boy. I love literotic writings. Porn i can do without. I've never actually rented a porn video, I've always wanted to do it with my girlfriend, but no that she is still very conservative, and didn't want to 'blow' it by renting the wrong one in a not to be repeated experience. So one day, when someone recommends the right one and in the right atmosphere I'll try that one.

But no, I've never liked porn. When I was a kid, when I used to read the play boy mags (no they weren't mine -way to young) I used to look at the pictures of pretty girls and get embarassed but read the forum at the beginning that use to get my blood pumping!!! Now adays I do like to come to literotica and read peoples stories. Haven't picked a favourite yet, but it does turn me on. I'm lusty all over and just wish my parter was in the same mood when she came home (oh wishful thinking!!). I've tried the chat room, thought it was pretty crap actually, but did meet some nice people and then have just recently found the forum (you'll see - I'm a new comer to this one!!!).

still I'm backing whiteboy, literotica is great. I just have to find the perfect story to share with my g/friend!!! Oh isn't research wonderful!

marc.
 
good points all...

Okay I have to say everyone here gots a good point. Stereotypes are very easy to get into in this day and age because people just love to categorize people. Fact is however that most people out there are not like what society has deemed.

I remember this one girl who refused to hang out with me so to speak just because I'm a guy and I supposedly only want one thing. Boy and women call men shovenist pigs, united we stand of hypocrites and bullshit it seems to me. BTW this wasnt the only girl to do this to me and I am not the only one that this has happened to. This does get me thinking though that perhaps this is what women want afterall.

I've also heard comments from women like: "The world would be a better place without men." Or worse yet, "The only good man is a dead one." I could of course go on and on with examples but I wont because frankly it would be a waste of time. I wonder if they realize that if it wasnt for a man they wouldn't be alive. What do they think that they can reproduce a-sexually or some bullshit? We aren't mindless machines you know, afterall we do have feelings despite what the mindless, foul media trys to say.
 
I hate to mention it to you, Whiteboy, but you're sort of generalizing about women yourself. ;) I haven't heard anyone refer to a man as a chauvinist pig for at least three decades. (Oh, dear, I've just dated myself.)

Still, you have a point. The pendulum has swung the other way, and many (not all) women enjoy men-bashing as a hobby. Oh, hell, I do it occasionally. Women always have, just as men always have and always will. These days it's politically okay to mouth off about men. You'll see all sorts of sitcoms and commercials where the guy is made out to be the stupid one. Will you see women made out to look dumb? Probably not. It's not kosher right now. You're more likely to see women portrayed as "better, stronger, faster," to quote from one of my old favorite TV shows, The Six Million Dollar Man. (Wonder what he'd cost these days!) Not that I think showing women in a positive light is bad. I'd just rather see things more equal.

The trick is not to let your generalizations overly affect how you live your life. It's one thing to spout off about your girlfriend's PMS and how she always wants to know what you're thinking when all you want to do is watch the last quarter of the playoff game. It's quite another to view all women with glasses tinted with distrust and anger. Try not to let one bad experience color all your future dealings with women. Also, remember that the girl who spurned you might have been used (or rather, allowed herself to be used) by a man just for sex, so she might have come by her view somewhat honestly.

This does get me thinking though that perhaps this is what women want afterall.

I'm not sure what your point was here. You didn't mention what you thought women wanted.
 
Women faster, stronger? Reality HAH

I have noticed that TV has depicted as women faster, stronger, blah blah. Well the fact is if this was so true why is it that according to history you had people like the Torso Killer and Jack The Ripper or Ted Bundy and still have seriel killers today that kill women? I suppose if women are so much stronger than men are today than they should be able to fight them off, maybe it's because this isn't true... Sorry just thinking of the facts here.

Also I hope you don't mind if a man was to make real hate joke about women. Because if you did you would be considered a hypocrite and in my opinion. Women shouldn't get mad when men say cold jokes about women because afterall they do the samething about men.
 
That was my point. THese days if you say a mean joke about a man, it's okay. If you tell a mean joke about a woman, it's harassment. Double standard. Hate it.

And I didn't mean stronger in the literal sense!
 
good point.

Well we all have our strenghs and weakness and many (female or male) are so filled with this pride that their gender is better that they blind themselves to the truth.

Take religion as a prime example which is something that is a little off the subject mind you but I study this stuff. I've met people who think that the world was created by a creator and I've met people who believe the world was a creatrix. To me the world really wasn't created by 'people' the world was created by forces, hard and soft in a maelstorm of chaos, at least this is what I believe.

The world in my opinion was created by masculine and femine forces for you can't really have one without the other. All things have masculine and femine aspects, no one can escape this. So perhaps those who think one sex as superior to another believe they are just one sex and disassosiate themselves with the oppisite sex. The sad fact of the matter is that all things we all share both aspects within us and even physical aspects.

For instance both men and women have nipples. Women get body hair of course. Womens voices do deepen as they get older even if it isn't as much as a mans. I can go on and on about this but the point is that how can either gender really be all that superior?

Women stronger mentally? Could this not be more about how one grows up, after all in a society were women are 'taught' to think with their brains more then men while men are generaly encouraged to pursue sports and use brawn. Yet I've noticed physicaly weaker men do this same thing, they have to in order to survive in a world where yes fit does matter.

I could go on but I don't want to make this message to long and thus bore everyone with my rantings and so I will not.
 
<considers> Hmm.

There's a lot to consider here. I belive that a lot of questions can be asked about the 'stereotypical' roles of male and female preferance in erotica. And I believe that there's a good answer to many of those questions right here on this site.

If you look at the literally thousands of stories and hundreds of authors listed here, you'll see that they span just about all gender, nationality, and age boundaries. Every kind of taste, from absolutely demented to merely suggestive and a hundred flavors in between are found represented right here. And the characters and authors fit, stretch, bend, or detonate just about every stereotype I've ever encountered.

I think that if there's one thing that all Literotica readers and writers should agree on, it's that the field of human sexuality breaks all boundaries, shatters all preconceived notions, and extends into the darkest nether regions of the imagination.

And in the end, I don't think any of us would want it any other way. ;)

-Tsypheth-
 
i'm new round these parts, so i'll just say a quick hi first.... hi.

That said, I think the idea of women liking, or not liking erotica is besides the point... A lot of women just would not admit to it one way or the other. In my own experience, I enjoy erotica or porn or what have you. Almost all forms of it are appealing to me. My sexuality is a big part of my life as it is part of who I am. My writing only reflects that sexuality. Erotica/porn is good for me, and I would be in sorry shape without it. For that matter, what would any of us be without our words.

(really, I am more coherent when I've had sleep :rolleyes: )
 
This thread facinates me. I went into the Marines from a very small town in Texas. I was young, naive, and yes a virgin. My first year in the Marines changed all that. I have seen women take on six guys at once and beg for more. I have seen women who would have sex with anyone wearing a uniform.

Perhaps my views about women have been warped the other direction by my experience, but since being in the Marines, I have never given any thought to women enjoying sex or porn. They do. I've seen it. Women can be as nasty and disgusting as any man. I know some unfaithful sluts interested in either money or sex or, sometimes, both.

I also know some very nice women who are kind, caring, and good friends. Since last Friday, I've been keeping the 14 YO son of one of my friends. She went down to Mexico over Memorial day and spent the week. She'll be home Sunday. She is a wonderful woman, sweet and gentle, but she still enjoyes sex and porn and even erotica.

Maybe I'm wrong, but women are just people. There are good people and bad people. There are good women and bad women. Not all people enjoy porn and erotica, not all women do either. I have found that, in my life, it is better to treat everyone like a person and not worry about gender, race, or religion.

On the boards, I have seen several threads on how "women" think or how "Men" think. Not all women think alike and not all men think alike and many times women and men do have similar thoughts.

Still it is interesting seeing how other people view this question. Keep up the discussion.

Ray
 
Ray: Good point I tried joining the Marines not to long ago and made it in boot camp but quite because I just couldn't stand the pressure and assholes. No offense!

Well to say the least I don't think women and men are all that different despite are seeminly many differences. Most of these differences are more about how our bodies are developed not how our minds are developed... Also we tend to respond differently to environmental stimuli but not I think as big as us humans like to think. :p
 
Speaking from personal experience, I was raised to think erotica and porn were things that men enjoyed. My teens were at a time when the hippi generation was going out and the "me" generation was starting. One afternoon, in my teens, I happened to come across a book my father kept in his nightstand. The title was "Banned in Hollywood." This was my first introduction to porn and erotica and was a turn on. Hence, my sexual experiences started.

I never considered myself a slut or whore, just a woman who enjoyed the pleasures of sex, having to hide this pleasure that overflowed. My boyfriends of the time, of course, reaped the benefits of my reading and learning experiences, most times ending our time together very satisfied.

We've all come a long way since, and I for one am glad that women can express themselves openly, speaking out about what we enjoy and don't.

Even at this day and age, it surprises me just how many women are afraid to openly discuss their desires, needs, and wants (which may alot to do with where I'm living now). Religous beliefs, the do's and don't's of the doctrine, are very strong in this region, but I have several friends that I can openly discuss erotica with and there are some that still blush at the thought of talking about what they enjoy.

One of my co-workers and I have had a few of the young guys, that work on the station, openly discuss their dates or weekend encounters, asking our opinion of what women like and dislike. I find it intriguing and flattering that they find our opinions important and valid. In fact, one young man was so shocked that I write erotica, he immediately wanted to read my first post. A day or two later, he expressed his enjoyment of my story and began telling me about his wild weekend, asking if I would like more details to incorporate into a story (i.e., one guy and six college girls, a cabin by the lake, mud wrestling, drunkeness, etc.). He told me he'd like to read a story about this weekend from a women's view. I'm taking him up on the idea.

Thanks for the post and the time to vent.

TrinaT

:kiss:
 
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