Women don't have fetishes

[CharleyH]

At least in psychoanalytic terms. Men do. Men are uniquely perverse.

I know we have broached this topic before, yet as much as women claim to have fetishes, in essence they really don't in psychoanalytic terms.

Any opinions one way or another?

 

[Stella_Omega]

What opinion is there to have about it?

That I demand my right to entertain a fetishistic obsession just like the guys-- or that women are obviously superior to men for the lack?

Actually, in the last discussion of this subject, someone found an example of a real woman with a real fetish-- for handicapped men, but more specifically, for their crutches and wheelchairs and prosthetics.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

At least in psychoanalytic terms. Men do. Men are uniquely perverse.

I know we have broached this topic before, yet as much as women claim to have fetishes, in essence they really don't in psychoanalytic terms.

Any opinions one way or another?

I am interested in forming an opinion on this, but I'd like more information. It seems a fascinating assertion. Tell me the psychoanalytic terms in question so that I understand better.

I suspect it's maybe going to come down to how everyone defines the various terms: "fetish," "psychoanalytic terms," "men and women."

not that I don't already agree, in deep amusement, that men are UNIQUELY perverse. It's one of the things I love about them.

bijou

 

[Boxlicker101]

It depends on your definition of "fetish". There are some women who are strongly attracted to musicians or singers or professional baseball players or movie stars. I don't know if there would be any male equivalent to that. Men are attracted to sexy women, but it wouldn't matter what their occupations or professions might be.

One of my readers told me how baldness is a big turnon for her. Unfortunately, she is in Australia.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

Oh, dear.. do I need to break out my DSM-IV? I believe that fetishism is almost exclusively male. I don't think the DSM IV rules out the possibility of women having fetishes. Studies have shown that men are much more likely to develop a learned fetish, when exposed to erotic stimuli coupled with an inanimate object.
Whether my fetish is an actual, real fetish.. yes, according to the strict definition in the DSM-IV, I believe it is..

 

[CharleyH]

What opinion is there to have about it?

That I demand my right to entertain a fetishistic obsession just like the guys-- or that women are obviously superior to men for the lack?

Actually, in the last discussion of this subject, someone found an example of a real woman with a real fetish-- for handicapped men, but more specifically, for their crutches and wheelchairs and prosthetics.

Actually, I am just getting to know the topic myself, Stell, and was at the Toronto reference library (largest library I know of in Canada) almost all day today trying to research female fetish. WHAT A FUCKING LACK OF STUDY/ INQUIRY/ INFORMATION!!!

There were three LONG ROWS of books about sexuality. I found one little essay in a book by Elizabeth Grosz called "Space, time and perversion".

Still, she said that in psychoanalytic terms "It makes no sense for women to be fetishists and it is unimaginable that women would get gratification from the use of inanimate objects or mere partial object alone."

To qualify, she also goes on to discuss that it is plausible, as "Naomi Schor points out in her analysis of George Sand. That there can be female fetishism"

 

[CharleyH]

It depends on your definition of "fetish". There are some women who are strongly attracted to musicians or singers or professional baseball players or movie stars. I don't know if there would be any male equivalent to that. Men are attracted to sexy women, but it wouldn't matter what their occupations or professions might be.

One of my readers told me how baldness is a big turnon for her. Unfortunately, she is in Australia.

For those asking ... I did propose in my first post that women are not fetishists "in psychoanalytic terms".

 

[Stella_Omega]

Actually, I am just getting to know the topic myself, Stell, and was at the Toronto reference library (largest library I know of in Canada) almost all day today trying to research female fetish. WHAT A FUCKING LACK OF STUDY/ INQUIRY/ INFORMATION!!!

There were three LONG ROWS of books about sexuality. I found one little essay in a book by Elizabeth Grosz called "Space, time and perversion".

Still, she said that in psychoanalytic terms "It makes no sense for women to be fetishists and it is unimaginable that women would get gratification from the use of inanimate objects or mere partial object alone."

To qualify, she also goes on to discuss that it is plausible, as "Naomi Schor points out in her analysis of George Sand. That there can be female fetishism"

I wonder why "it makes no sense" to her? That, in itself is pretty interesting...

 

[CharleyH]

Whether my fetish is an actual, real fetish.. yes, according to the strict definition in the DSM-IV, I believe it is..

Well that sucks LOL.

Please tell me what a real fetish is? If a lady (one never knows on lit) and if you don't mind sharing your "fetish" can you tell me how your fetish is a "fetish". By any DSM-IV-TR (you are behind the times BTW) assessment?

 

[lisa123414]

Still, she said that in psychoanalytic terms "It makes no sense for women to be fetishists and it is unimaginable that women would get gratification from the use of inanimate objects or mere partial object alone."

Honey, lately I have been getting all my gratification from an inanimate object! It may make no sense, but its true.

Seriously, I think women - in general, and i realize this will be a sexist statement - perhaps begin having orgasms later, and over a lifetime, perhaps, have fewer. I would venture there are women alive today who have never had an orgasm. I will also pose that there are fewer women with fetishes, but certainly there are some.

Medical science also tends to focus on men, and the reasons for that are plenty for another discussion. Perhaps too few scientists are looking for fetishes in women. If science treated women the same, there would be a little pink pill - the female equivalent of viagra.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

Yes, a fetish may seem sexy to some.. but, if you have one, it does suck.
In order for it to be considered a real fetish by the APA, it has to impair your life in some way..
Some may argue that my fetish is not a real fetish, because it is skin contrast that excites me. Some would classify contrast as a "thing", others might see it as just a preference.. but, in my case, I would argue that the intensity and the social impairment it has cause me as the hallmark of a true fetish.
I think the biggest difference between male and female fetishism is that men will have fetishes for things that are not related to people. Women who have fetishes tend to have attractions to things that are associated with people. A relatively common female fetish that I have seen mentioned is for handicapped men's prosthetics, crutches, or wheelchairs.
And, no, I have not needed to update my DSM-IV yet.. LOL

 

[kendo1]

Honey, lately I have been getting all my gratification from an inanimate object!

Tell him to put the remote down.

 

[lisa123414]

Tell him to put the remote down.

I dont know whether to laugh or cry.....no I do, cause I am laughing so hard I can barely type.

 

[CharleyH]

I wonder why "it makes no sense" to her? That, in itself is pretty interesting...

I will tell you after I actually read the 10 pages. I do get her though. Psychoanalysis is based on the assumption that men go through a period of castration phase (grr, I am tired and can't think of actual term) Women do not have access to that same phase because they have no phallus and relate to the mother ... ergo, when men(boys) realize they are different from mother ... there is a whole different traumatic issue ... women are not different from mother therefore there is no trauma?

I'm just spewing, not really talking.

 

[CharleyH]

Honey, lately I have been getting all my gratification from an inanimate object! It may make no sense, but its true.

Seriously, I think women - in general, and i realize this will be a sexist statement - perhaps begin having orgasms later, and over a lifetime, perhaps, have fewer. I would venture there are women alive today who have never had an orgasm. I will also pose that there are fewer women with fetishes, but certainly there are some.

Medical science also tends to focus on men, and the reasons for that are plenty for another discussion. Perhaps too few scientists are looking for fetishes in women. If science treated women the same, there would be a little pink pill - the female equivalent of viagra.

All things indeed.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I will tell you after I actually read the 10 pages. I do get her though. Psychoanalysis is based on the assumption that men go through a period of castration phase (grr, I am tired and can't think of actual term) Women do not have access to that same phase because they have no phallus and relate to the mother ... ergo, when men(boys) realize they are different from mother ... there is a whole different traumatic issue ... women are not different from mother therefore there is no trauma?

I'm just spewing, not really talking.

*grin*

That explains so much! (The "assumption" part, that is)

How about the women who identified with father--and have no phallus, and therefore really do suffer castration trauma....

They grow up and name themselves George Sands?

 

[CharleyH]

How about the women who identified with father--and have no phallus, and therefore really do suffer castration trauma....

As I said in a different thread? It is no surprise to me why you write slash.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Honey, lately I have been getting all my gratification from an inanimate object! It may make no sense, but its true.

Seriously, I think women - in general, and i realize this will be a sexist statement - perhaps begin having orgasms later, and over a lifetime, perhaps, have fewer. I would venture there are women alive today who have never had an orgasm. I will also pose that there are fewer women with fetishes, but certainly there are some.

Medical science also tends to focus on men, and the reasons for that are plenty for another discussion. Perhaps too few scientists are looking for fetishes in women. If science treated women the same, there would be a little pink pill - the female equivalent of viagra.

The purpose of Viagra and similar medications is to help a man get an erection, which is necessary for the most common kind of sex. It is not necessary for other kinds of sex, one which most of the men in my books indulge in, as do I, but that is another story. The treated condition is sometimes called "Erectile Dysfunction" and there is no female equivalent. A pussy always has an opening in it.

There are plenty of medications to treat PMS, or to help a woman through Menopause or similar conditions. There are even treatments for dryness, which is an aid in sex for women.

I would also disagree with the statement that medical science focuses on men. I have no figures, but I would bet that more is spent on research into breast cancer than anything, except maybe AIDS. That's not a complaint; I'm just voicing disagreement.

 

[Stella_Omega]

As I said in a different thread? It is no surprise to me why you write slash.

Only one of the things I write, yanno

but-- yes-- the internet is a remarkable palliative.

 

[angela146]

This paraphilia is characterized by sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors involving use of non-human objects to produce or enhance sexual arousal with or in the absence of a partner.

A. Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving the use of nonliving objects (e.g., female undergarments).

B. The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

C. The fetish objects are not limited to articles of female clothing used in cross-dressing (as in Transvestic Fetishism) or devices designed for the purpose of tactile genital stimulation (e.g., a vibrator).

These mental disorders are characterized by sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors involving non-human objects (coprophilia, Fetishism, Transvestic Fetishism), suffering or humiliation (Sexual Sadism, Masochism), children (Pedophilia) or other non-consenting person (Voyeurism, Frotteurism, Exhibitionism).

So, a woman who can't orgasm without a dildo or vibrator is a fetishist, assuming that orgasm is an "important area of functioning".

Also, a woman who *can* get off without a vibrator but still *craves* the vibrator and can't go for more than a few days without using it would also be a fetishist.

In my case, I have a fetish for my husband's scent on an article of clothing or a pillow or whatever. I don't need it to get off. I get off most of the time without it.

But... even when I'm home and my husband is home (for the summer), I sometimes retire to the bedroom alone and bury my face in his pillow while I masturbate. I sometimes send him out grocery shopping so I can do it without him interrupting.

If I don't get my "fix" every few days, I get cranky and have trouble getting anything else done.

So, I am a fetishist and so is any woman who "needs" to use a sex toy, even if she is able to orgasm in other ways. If she can't "go without", she's a fetishist.

 

[angela146]

The purpose of Viagra and similar medications is to help a man get an erection, which is necessary for the most common kind of sex. It is not necessary for other kinds of sex, one which most of the men in my books indulge in, as do I, but that is another story. The treated condition is sometimes called "Erectile Dysfunction" and there is no female equivalent.

Ahem! Yes, there is a female equivalent.

Some women - particularly some over age 40 or so - have trouble getting a clitoral erection and thus have trouble reaching a clitoral orgasm.

It is possible for a man to have an orgasm without becoming erect. It ain't easy, but it's possible.

The same for a woman: it is possible for a woman to have an orgasm without an erect clitoris but it is much much more difficult.

The same is true for a G-spot orgasm. If the G-spot is engorged (the functional equivalent of an erection) it is much easier to have a G-spot orgasm.

Viagra (and its siblings) have the effect of concentrating more blood flow into the erectile tissue of a woman and make it easier for her to get off.

The Berman sisters have talked about it on their show and use it as part of sex therapy.

 

[Guest]

At least in psychoanalytic terms. Men do. Men are uniquely perverse.

I know we have broached this topic before, yet as much as women claim to have fetishes, in essence they really don't in psychoanalytic terms.

Any opinions one way or another?

My opinion?

Charley, YOU are uniquely perverse.

 

[Eluard]

I think the fact that psychoanalysts don't think women have fetishes just says a whole lot about the abyssmal poverty of psychanalysis.

Haven't they ever heard of the shoe fetish?

Not to mention, the many other common fantasy/fetishes that I could reel off very easily.

And I wouldn't take Liz Grosz as an authority on fetishes, psychoanalysis or sex. (I know her personally.)

 

[Stella_Omega]

I think the fact that psychoanalysts don't think women have fetishes just says a whole lot about the abyssmal poverty of psychanalysis.

Haven't they ever heard of the shoe fetish?

Not to mention, the many other common fantasy/fetishes that I could reel off very easily.

And I wouldn't take Liz Grosz as an authority on fetishes, psychoanalysis or sex. (I know her personally.)

Women who masturbate with shoes?

 

[Boxlicker101]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxlicker101
The purpose of Viagra and similar medications is to help a man get an erection, which is necessary for the most common kind of sex. It is not necessary for other kinds of sex, one which most of the men in my books indulge in, as do I, but that is another story. The treated condition is sometimes called "Erectile Dysfunction" and there is no female equivalent.

Ahem! Yes, there is a female equivalent.

Some women - particularly some over age 40 or so - have trouble getting a clitoral erection and thus have trouble reaching a clitoral orgasm.

It is possible for a man to have an orgasm without becoming erect. It ain't easy, but it's possible.

The same for a woman: it is possible for a woman to have an orgasm without an erect clitoris but it is much much more difficult.

The same is true for a G-spot orgasm. If the G-spot is engorged (the functional equivalent of an erection) it is much easier to have a G-spot orgasm.

Viagra (and its siblings) have the effect of concentrating more blood flow into the erectile tissue of a woman and make it easier for her to get off.

The Berman sisters have talked about it on their show and use it as part of sex therapy.

It's still not the same thing. A man cannot fuck without an erection. He can ejaculate; I know because I have done so, but I don't know if I had an orgasm or not. If I did, it was the least fun orgasm I ever had.

A woman can fuck whether her clit is erect or not. It may be less fun, but she can do it. I don't know how much fun it would be, or what her orgasm would be like, but she can do it. All the women in my stories have clits that are erect and engorged and completely clear of their clit hoods, and they all have thunderous orgasms. I write fantasy, not true stories.

The vagina will be stretched, hopefully, regardless of the state of the clit or G-spot, and the nerve endings will be stimulated. Her orgasm might leave something to be desired but she can reach one, and she can definitely fuck.