Wny is this story getting such low votes?

[WRJames]

I've been putting out a few excerpts from my novels as stories on Literotica, and the pattern has been fairly consistent -- not many people bother to votes, but the the votes I do get are mostly fives. So I put out Kiss My Ass which is a couple of chapters from A Murder In Eden and immediately it had one vote of five, which is typical. The next day it had two votes, and the average was down to 3.00 -- now it has three votes, and it is down to 2.33! So someone, or a couple people, really don't like it. No public comments, so I'm baffled.

 

[rgraham666]

I've been putting out a few excerpts from my novels as stories on Literotica, and the pattern has been fairly consistent -- not many people bother to votes, but the the votes I do get are mostly fives. So I put out Kiss My Ass which is a couple of chapters from A Murder In Eden and immediately it had one vote of five, which is typical. The next day it had two votes, and the average was down to 3.00 -- now it has three votes, and it is down to 2.33! So someone, or a couple people, really don't like it. No public comments, so I'm baffled.

That's pretty standard to start, WR. There's a minor infestation of what are popularly known as 'trolls' here on Lit.

They go into a story, don't bother to read it, or just scan it, and vote a one. Then they come here to the boards and watch the writers of the story complain. It's a rather strange form of sadism.

I just scanned through your story. It's an excerpt, in the Romance category and doesn't seem to have any sex in it.

The fact that it's an excerpt is going to disappoint a lot of people. Since there's no real plot you're going to lose them. They want a full story.

The fantasy elements are going to put off a lot of Romance readers who I believe prefer contemporary and historical settings for Romance.

And a lot of people, even in Romance, are here to jack off. No sex is going to disappoint them.

One more thing. You're a fairly new writer. It takes a while to get a readership. It took me a couple of years to get a decent readership here. Just like any other market.

Keep at it. Persistence counts for a lot.

 

[angelicminx]

I've been putting out a few excerpts from my novels as stories on Literotica, and the pattern has been fairly consistent -- not many people bother to votes, but the the votes I do get are mostly fives. So I put out Kiss My Ass which is a couple of chapters from A Murder In Eden and immediately it had one vote of five, which is typical. The next day it had two votes, and the average was down to 3.00 -- now it has three votes, and it is down to 2.33! So someone, or a couple people, really don't like it. No public comments, so I'm baffled.

The only answer I have is to the public comments. You don't have them turned on for Kiss My Ass. Not that it appears to matter, since they are on for the others and you don't have a comment yet.

 

[angelicminx]

Well, after reading 3/4 of the first page of Kiss My Ass... All I can say is, "Yawn". There's nothing there to grab my interest and keep me reading. The storyline is confusing. I don't know who is who, what is happening, or why.

Maybe in the context of the full story it's better, maybe not. To be quite honest, when I get to sections like this in a book I find myself scanning, which is what I've done now. Interesting premise, I think. Adam and Eve, immortality...? Not sure. It's just out of reach.

I like this line: "I was in hell for a thousand years," Sarah said, with great conviction. "I'm only out on probation. The way things are going I'll be back there soon enough."

Sorry, I didn't vote.


On a brighter note: Welcome to the AH! I hope you like it here and stick around a while.

Minx

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Posting excerpts/chapters from a novel is an iffy proposition. IMHO, you'd be best off posting your work in Novels/Novella or as a series in Sci/Fi-Fantasy (pt 1, 2, 3, etc). Good luck.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[angelicminx]

Started reading Mary's Rescue... It's got potential. I don't have time to finish it at the moment, but I'm only a quarter of the way down the page and you've captured enough of my interest that I'll finish it.

 

[WRJames]

Thank you all for your comments -- very helpful. I still have this fading hope that someone will actually be intrigued enough by the excerpts to buy the novels -- probably not too likely since there is so much for free here -- but who knows? And yes, the novels do have boring things like plot and character development -- so they may not be for everyone.

It sounds like I would have been better off just putting out the second chapter in the KMA excerpt -- the first part seems not to be interesting on its own? The second chapter is the one where the two ladies stop talking and use their mouths for other purposes.

Mary's Rescue is the one that is in the Romance category -- of course,Mary is a major character in all four novels, and this story probably resonates more if you know her better, but it is pretty much a standalone. If you are interested, one of the other excerpts, What's It Like To Be A Man?, gives a little more information on Mary.

I went into the submissions page to turn on public comments for KMA, and guess what -- it is still showing three votes, but the average in now 4.00 -- which is more typical.

 

[WRJames]

Oops -- I'm dyslexsic -- KMA now has 4 votes for an average of 3.00 -- that would be two fives and two ones -- I guess the voters either really like or really hate it?

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I had a look, and assuming that the votes aren't just spurious - that they reflect something the readers actually don't like about the story - the first thing that came to my mind is that the story was kind of hard to access. Taken as a stand-alone piece, I found it hard to get a feel for just what was going on where and between whom and why and my eyes started sliding down the page looking for a purchase. As I say, I don't know whether this is why you were voted down (you never know on Lit. Maybe someone just didn't like a post you made on a thread or your ad in your sig or something totally irrelevent like that) but if I had to pick a weakness in the story, that would probably be it.

I'm always careful posting excerpts. Usually you've got to screw around with them and punch them up into a more short story-like form, because while you of course know the context of the excerpt, the readers don't, and they're looking for the setting and the hook - the reason to be interested that I think of as access point, and that's what I think is missing here. If you look at it, you have like an entire Lit page of "she said/she said" dialogue that's heavy on information exchange with nothing to grab the reader's interest - little or no emotional content, no reflection or description or mood-setting, no break from the rhythm of dialog, and frankly, I'm afraid it gets wearying. It feels hard and impenetrable and I'm left wondering who these people are and why I should care about them.

Since this is an excerpt, I suppose you might expect it to be read by people who already know the parent piece and therefore know the characters and context, and I guess that's fair enough. But speaking as someone who came to it fresh, I had no idea what was going on - something about some android women in a choir nursing babies? Anyhow, it really wasn't enough to keep me interested. I would have just back-clicked out without voting, probably, but maybe some people were irritated enough to vote you low.

Yeah, okay. That's what I think.

There's something terribly bizarre going on here at the beginning but you never tell us what it is. Space ship? Choir in space? Recording studio? Robots? Afro lesbian robot choir with infants? Who are these women? Who's the lead character? Whose story is it? Who are these people they're talking about? We're unable to get our bearings.

We really need to be sat down and told what's going on. (You also have to break the "she said" attributive habit. It becomes dreadfully noticeable in the dialogue.) I also think that, for the sake of the excerpt, you've got to edit tyhe subject matter of this dialogue down because it's just too bewildering. Even if it's done intentionally for comic effect it's still too bewildering. There's just no way we can keep track of all these people.

 

[3113]

Thank you all for your comments -- very helpful. I still have this fading hope that someone will actually be intrigued enough by the excerpts to buy the novels

Well, this would be my problem with the story. If I saw the note at the top, I wouldn't read the excerpt. Why invest my time and interest in a glimpse of a novel? I'd rather invest it in a chapter from a novel on this site that is (presumably) going to continue and be completed.

And if I'd missed the note at the top, read the excerpt, and THEN learned it was just an excerpt put there to get me to buy the novel...I'd be majorly pissed! I don't come to this sight to read advertisements. I come to read full-length erotic stories.

I'm kinda surprised you haven't gotten any angry feedback on this--but I suspect I know why....

In agreement with Rob, if you're going to leave an excerpt, leave a sex scene--because there are plenty of readers happy to just read sex scenes. That's enough to satisfy them. But if there's no sex scene, then an excerpt is just going to piss readers off. They get no titillation, no story, just an advertisement.

(Also, in agreement with Rob, wrong category. Romance readers aren't that fond of Sci-Fi. Sci-fi elements will turn a lot of them off.)

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

I'm very impressed by the thoughtful and considerate responses you have received. It puts a devilish thought in my head:

I dare you to post this on GB!








(No, don't!)

 

[OhMissScarlett]

There's something terribly bizarre going on here at the beginning but you never tell us what it is. Space ship? Choir in space? Recording studio? Robots? Afro lesbian robot choir with infants?

indeed. WTF?

Considering there are vast amounts of readers who won't commit to reading a story with multiple chapters, it doesn't surprise me that excerpts are off-putting. As a reader, I need a cohesive storyline with characters who stand out from each other. Paint me a vivid picture of the setting. And, for fuck sake, do not forget the WANK FACTOR.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I'm very impressed by the thoughtful and considerate responses you have received. It puts a devilish thought in my head:

I dare you to post this on GB!

(No, don't!)

Rox, you are so e-v-i-l.

I'd thought about suggesting the Story Discussion Circle forum but after the input on this thread, I'm not sure that'd needed at this time.

WR, several of my Lit stories are adapted from scenes in one of novels. If you're interested, I'll give you a list of them and mention some of the things it involved.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[WRJames]

There seems to be a little bit of confusion -- Mary's Rescue is the story in the Romance section -- it's not the one I was concerned about. Yes, I know it doesn't have much sex in it -- that's why I classified it the way I did. Maybe no one will read it. I put another one over in SciFi category and it didn't have many readers either.

The Kiss My Ass excerpt is two chapters, and I probably should have contented myself with the second one -- which is more or less a simple sex scene.

Obviously, I can't just throw the entire novel out on Literotica. My publisher would have a conniption.

Sorry about the "she saids" -- I usually try to prune them out.

 

[WRJames]

WR, several of my Lit stories are adapted from scenes in one of novels. If you're interested, I'll give you a list of them and mention some of the things it involved.

Yes -- thanks. I'll make some revisions and out the stories back out.

 

[angelicminx]

Thank you all for your comments -- very helpful. I still have this fading hope that someone will actually be intrigued enough by the excerpts to buy the novels -- probably not too likely since there is so much for free here -- but who knows? And yes, the novels do have boring things like plot and character development -- so they may not be for everyone.

It sounds like I would have been better off just putting out the second chapter in the KMA excerpt -- the first part seems not to be interesting on its own? The second chapter is the one where the two ladies stop talking and use their mouths for other purposes.

Mary's Rescue is the one that is in the Romance category -- of course,Mary is a major character in all four novels, and this story probably resonates more if you know her better, but it is pretty much a standalone. If you are interested, one of the other excerpts, What's It Like To Be A Man?, gives a little more information on Mary.

I went into the submissions page to turn on public comments for KMA, and guess what -- it is still showing three votes, but the average in now 4.00 -- which is more typical.

You're welcome. I hope mine didn't come across too harsh.

I'm one that likes plot and character development. I tend to skip the sex eek: shocking, I know ) unless it's VERY well written. That's on any story.

Dr. M said what I was thinking, a lot more clearly.

 

[WRJames]

You're welcome. I hope mine didn't come across too harsh.

I'm one that likes plot and character development. I tend to skip the sex eek: shocking, I know ) unless it's VERY well written. That's on any story.

Dr. M said what I was thinking, a lot more clearly.

Your comments are helpful. I wish I could share more of the content of these novels on Literotica, but I'm probably getting to the edge what I can do without violating my contract with CLHP.