Without food or oxygen

[Rumple Foreskin]

RF, you promised me you wouldn't show it to anyone else.

It's all Tatelou's fault, honest. She said, if you got it, flaunt it. I didn't know what she meant since the only thing I ever had got was pretty bad, but she said it could be cured by penicillin (or did she say penisillin?)

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

It's all Tatelou's fault, honest. She said, if you got it, flaunt it. I didn't know what she meant since the only thing I ever had got was pretty bad, but she said it could be cured by penicillin (or did she say penisillin?)

Rumple Foreskin

No, I said, "Penis in, IN!"

 

[matriarch]

It doesn't matter how tired or low I am, I just know that reading a thread started and extended by Lou will bring a huge smile, and not a few chuckles.

Thank you luv. You're a total nutcase, but adorably so.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Tantie Lou,

I don’t care if the garden shed is ever so soundproofed, or how stable that three-legged elephant is believed to be, if he comes around looking for his missing foot, you shall be the endangered species.

You will be planted, but you won't be up to any oxygen breathing in the wee night watches.

 

[Guest]

It doesn't matter how tired or low I am, I just know that reading a thread started and extended by Lou will bring a huge smile, and not a few chuckles.

Thank you luv. You're a total nutcase, but adorably so.

Thanks, babe. My complete pleasure. Just doing my bit to brighten myself and hopefully this place at the same time.

 

[matriarch]

Thanks, babe. My complete pleasure. Just doing my bit to brighten myself and hopefully this place at the same time.

And you've succeeded. Now go and look at Scheh's thread, with a similar idea. Might be right 'up' your street.

 

[Guest]

And you've succeeded. Now go and look at Scheh's thread, with a similar idea. Might be right 'up' your street.

I saw that.

I might throw myself in in a bit, I'll see how the mood takes me.

 

[Guest]

Tantie Lou,

I don’t care if the garden shed is ever so soundproofed, or how stable that three-legged elephant is believed to be, if he comes around looking for his missing foot, you shall be the endangered species.

You will be planted, but you won't be up to any oxygen breathing in the wee night watches.

Well I need to install an "Elephant early warning system" pronto, then! I don't wanna get squished by a three-legged heffalump on a rampage.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Well I need to install an "Elephant early warning system" pronto, then! I don't wanna get squished by a three-legged heffalump on a rampage.

ELEPHANT JOKES!

How can you tell when an elephant is in bed with you?

How can you tell an elephants been in your bathtub?

Why did the elephant put springs on the bottom of his feet?

What sound do monkeys hate to hear?

And last but least:

part 1. Why'd the elephant paint it's toemails different colors?

part 2. Did you ever see an elephant in a bowl of M&M's?

part 3. See how good it works?

note: Since everyone's heard all the punch lines, I skipped 'em to same time.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

ELEPHANT JOKES!

How can you tell when an elephant is in bed with you?

How can you tell an elephants been in your bathtub?

Why did the elephant put springs on the bottom of his feet?

What sound do monkeys hate to hear?

I figure everyone knows all the punch lines, so to save time, I skipped 'em.

And last but least:
part 1. Why'd the elephant paint it's toemails different colors?

part 2. Did you ever see an elephant in a bowl of M&M's?

part 3. See how good it works.

Rumple Foreskin

Love 'em!!!

Elephant jokes always get me giggling. Thank you!!

Here's one more...

How can you tell and elephant's been in your fridge?

 

[neonlyte]

ELEPHANT JOKES!

How can you tell when an elephant is in bed with you?

How can you tell an elephants been in your bathtub?

Why did the elephant put springs on the bottom of his feet?

What sound do monkeys hate to hear?

And last but least:

part 1. Why'd the elephant paint it's toemails different colors?

part 2. Did you ever see an elephant in a bowl of M&M's?

part 3. See how good it works?

note: Since everyone's heard all the punch lines, I skipped 'em to same time.

Rumple Foreskin

I think the Mary Jane is effecting my brain - I can't remember the punch lines (I don't inhale ether)

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Why do ducks have flat feet?

Why do elephants have flat feet?

 

[Guest]

Why do ducks have flat feet?

Why do elephants have flat feet?

Ok, you got me on those. I give in. Why???

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I think the Mary Jane is effecting my brain - I can't remember the punch lines (I don't inhale ether)

Okay, Noen, I won't be mean like Burley and not give you the punch lines. Here goes:

Originally Posted by Rumple Foreskin
ELEPHANT JOKES!

How can you tell when an elephant is in bed with you?
PL: By the smell of peanut butter on his breath.

How can you tell an elephants been in your bathtub?
PL: There's a gray(grey) ring around the tub.

Why did the elephant put springs on the bottom of his feet?
PL: So he could bounce into trees and rape monkeys.

What sound do monkeys hate to hear?
PL: Boing, boing, boing.

And last but least:

part 1. Why'd the elephant paint it's toenails different colors?
PL: So he could hide in a bowl of M&M's.

part 2. Did you ever see an elephant in a bowl of M&M's?
The straight person (joke-wise) says, "No"

part 3 is the PL: See how good it works?

note: Since everyone's heard all the punch lines, I skipped 'em to same time.

Rumple Foreskin

There, now you know why it's called a punch line.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Samandiriel]

Things die.


K?




(Sam knows all about that. )

It's rare that I miss ever being alive.

Thanks for rehashing memories.

 

[NoJo]

You know, you're not really dead. It was a joke that went to far. You just have a ghastly pallour.

 

[Samandiriel]

You know, you're not really dead. It was a joke that went to far. You just have a ghastly pallour.

I just took a shower and nothing washed off, you must be correct.

 

[NoJo]

I just took a shower and nothing washed off, you must be correct.

For stigmata, I recommend lemon juice and nitric acid.

 

[Samandiriel]

For stigmata, I recommend lemon juice and nitric acid.

I don't get that anymore, I just breakout.

 

[NoJo]

I don't get that anymore, I just breakout.

Oh, old school, eh? I just Asteroids and Dig Dug.

 

[Samandiriel]

Oh, old school, eh? I just Asteroids and Dig Dug.

That makes me wince and smirk.

 

[NoJo]

That makes me wince and smirk.

You must look nice doing that.

 

[Samandiriel]

You must look nice doing that.

My gynocologist thinks so.

 

[NoJo]

My gynocologist thinks so.

If you're trying to make me jealous, it's working. What kind of a speculum does he use? A Canston PK38, I'll bet. The cunt.

 

[Samandiriel]

If you're trying to make me jealous, it's working. What kind of a speculum does he use? A Canston PK38, I'll bet. The cunt.

I'm shy and use my webcam and a pair of tongs.