Wistful thinking or serendipity

[oggbashan]

I was closing windows before returning to the AH.

One window was a news report:

"Guantanamo 'Closure'

George Bush says he wants to close Guantanamo Bay and make sure the inmates get a trial"

The window partially under another. The report ended after the word 'get'. The overlying window lined up after 'get' with the word 'laid' from a Word Doc.

So I read:

'George Bush says he wants to close Guantanamo Bay and make sure the inmates get laid'

I thought that might be a better way to win the hearts and minds of terrorists. If instead of the vague promise of 76 virgins after death, an actual experienced woman now might be more acceptable...

It would never work.

Og

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I was closing windows before returning to the AH.

One window was a news report:

"Guantanamo 'Closure'

George Bush says he wants to close Guantanamo Bay and make sure the inmates get a trial"

The window partially under another. The report ended after the word 'get'. The overlying window lined up after 'get' with the word 'laid' from a Word Doc.

So I read:

'George Bush says he wants to close Guantanamo Bay and make sure the inmates get laid'

I thought that might be a better way to win the hearts and minds of terrorists. If instead of the vague promise of 76 virgins after death, an actual experienced woman now might be more acceptable...

It would never work.

Og

I agree. That far-sighted a foreign policy initiative would make way too much sense to ever come out of this administration.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[rgraham666]

It didn't say they'd get laid by women, did it?

 

[R. Richard]

I thought that might be a better way to win the hearts and minds of terrorists. If instead of the vague promise of 76 virgins after death, an actual experienced woman now might be more acceptable...

It would never work.

Og

Og:
Actually, the number of virgins is specified is Hadith Al-Tirmidhi in the Book of Sunah (volume IV, chapters on The Features of Paradise as described by the Messenger of Allah, chapter 21, About the Smallest Reward for the People of Paradise. The same hadith is also quoted by Ibn Kathir in his Koranic commentary (Tafsir) of Surah Al-Rahman:

"The Prophet Muhammad was heard saying: 'The smallest reward for the people of paradise is an abode where there are 80,000 servants and 72 wives, over which stands a dome decorated with pearls, aquamarine, and ruby, as wide as the distance from Al-Jabiyah [a Damascus suburb] to Sana'a [Yemen]."

 

[rgraham666]

Umm. Is that for each individual 'person of paradise' or the total for all of them?

I know. I shouldn't ask questions like that. But I'm a heretic. It's my job.

 

[Guest]

Og:
Actually, the number of virgins is specified is Hadith Al-Tirmidhi in the Book of Sunah (volume IV, chapters on The Features of Paradise as described by the Messenger of Allah, chapter 21, About the Smallest Reward for the People of Paradise. The same hadith is also quoted by Ibn Kathir in his Koranic commentary (Tafsir) of Surah Al-Rahman:

"The Prophet Muhammad was heard saying: 'The smallest reward for the people of paradise is an abode where there are 80,000 servants and 72 wives, over which stands a dome decorated with pearls, aquamarine, and ruby, as wide as the distance from Al-Jabiyah [a Damascus suburb] to Sana'a [Yemen]."

I wonder who the servants and wives are, since they aren't people? And which of these are guaranteed virgins? And is this virginity in perpetuity? (what a cruel fate!)

Move over, Rob. We need to make a heretic's bench

 

[Liar]

I wonder who the servants and wives are, since they aren't people? And which of these are guaranteed virgins? And is this virginity in perpetuity? (what a cruel fate!)

Psst, it didn't say they were humans. Might be hampsters, or something.

 

[Guest]

Psst, it didn't say they were humans. Might be hampsters, or something.

Virgin hamster?

I don't even want to think about how this is assertained. Is there duct tape in Paradise?

 

[oggbashan]

Virgins or Wives?

I think I got the figure of 76 from 76 trombones - I can't think of anything worse musically than 76 badly-played trombones.

As for the 72 wives? Are they to be virgin wives? If so, perhaps they are not supplied with sexual parts and therefore it is impossible for them to be anything but permanent virgins.

In which case, an offer of a willing and experienced woman would outbid any number of permanent virgins.

Is the White House monitoring this thread? When will they issue call-up papers to the nation's cathouses?

Og

 

[R. Richard]

I think I got the figure of 76 from 76 trombones - I can't think of anything worse musically than 76 badly-played trombones.

Actually, Og, you need to think back to your musical background. "An oboe is an ill woodwind that nobody plays good." Thus, 76 oboes would be worse than 76 trombones. QED.

Is the White House monitoring this thread? When will they issue call-up papers to the nation's cathouses?

No, no! We are talking Muslims here. I have politely pointed out to the powers that be that they need to scoop up 36 virgins from [perhaps] Islamic marketplaces and furnish them, in their jail cells, to the jihadis who really tried, but could not achieve death. The upkeep for the 36 virgins could be at least partially recovered by selling the videos.