Wishes and Problems

[Kapalua2483]

I have had this problem now for three years since I turned of age and I could truely discuss this with people of the lifestyle. I am naturally dominant in how I speak and act. Yet I have as of yet to truely find anyone that is willing to be a real sub to me. (I Get ones that enjoy pissing me off and trying to agitate me by doing things that will get under my skin) But I have as of yet to find any sub that will be good to me and truely serve me. I live in New Jersey and the clubs are not exactly nearby. So what can I do? Who can I find that will actully satisfy the need to be a dom to someone because I dislike vanilla relationships at this point. I Need someone that is submissive. I do not like dealing with dominant personalities in a woman i'm with and I understand it's so un PC to say so but i've always felt that I am stronger and more powerful than a woman in a sense. Obviously our minds are the same and our intelligence can be. But in strength and physicality. I have not met many whom can match up to most men. Oh well perhaps I am just ranting but i've still as of yet to find a good slave or sub..Help!

Dan The Dom

 

[A Desert Rose]

I have had this problem now for three years since I turned of age and I could truely discuss this with people of the lifestyle. I am naturally dominant in how I speak and act. Yet I have as of yet to truely find anyone that is willing to be a real sub to me. (I Get ones that enjoy pissing me off and trying to agitate me by doing things that will get under my skin) But I have as of yet to find any sub that will be good to me and truely serve me. I live in New Jersey and the clubs are not exactly nearby. So what can I do? Who can I find that will actully satisfy the need to be a dom to someone because I dislike vanilla relationships at this point. I Need someone that is submissive. I do not like dealing with dominant personalities in a woman i'm with and I understand it's so un PC to say so but i've always felt that I am stronger and more powerful than a woman in a sense. Obviously our minds are the same and our intelligence can be. But in strength and physicality. I have not met many whom can match up to most men. Oh well perhaps I am just ranting but i've still as of yet to find a good slave or sub..Help!

Dan The Dom

Wasn't there an infamous murder in Toms River some years ago? It seems I read about it... husband killed his wife, I think?

And I'm scratching my head here... isn't this kinda like a personal ad?

 

[YinandYang]

Hi There,

Have you tried 'meeting' someone online? Maybe not for meeting real time, but to chat to someone who is feeling the same way as you? I know there are a few Yahoo groups out there, and maybe msn ones too that have a more personal approach. Or else as Desert Rose says through a personal add. Even if you didn't actually get to meet that person, a valuable friendship could occur.

I often think of the future, and what would happen if me and my SO ever split, and short of putting 'I submit' across my forehead there isn't much I can do to attract the right type of person. I guess we are lucky really, 30 years ago, without the internet it must have been a very lonely experience for many.

I would not (at this point) attend parties or munches, as I don't really have the confidence, but that could be an idea for you. Have a look online and see if any are happening near you.

As for the PC dominant male thing, I think many women may see this as a green light to be more assertive, especially if you vocalise these feelings Red rag and bull comes to mind lol. For me personally, my views are pretty similar to yours, We all have certain strengths to contribute, maybe female nurturing and encompassing, male hunterer gatherer for example. Each has their own strengths. But these feelings help me slip into the submissive role more easily.

Good luck with your search, I'm sure someone here has some links to yahoo sites? Think I read them somewhere.....

 

[catalina_francisco]

What you seek is not that unusual, finding that person who fits with you in enough ways to count is perhaps a little more unique. No-one is perfect, Doms included, so it becomes a matter of knowing what you really need and don't need, and what would be acceptable to work on or compromise. Once you have reached that point, then be honest and begin searching for that person while still maintaining dignity and good manners. For some it seems (subs usually, but also some Doms) it seems to be that if the other person is not right for them it is okay to be rude, obnoxious, abusive, cold. Personally that has always been the first sign of an immature person so I was always grateful we passed each other by. If it were easy to find that one we would all be sitting pretty in bliss with our perfect match....it takes work and commitment to making it happen for most.

So how to increase the odds of finding who you seek....post on discussion boards (never know where it leads), make friends both Dom and sub (they have friends), if someone is not for you as a partner they may make a good friend, post honest, informative and open personals, go to munches and play paties if it is your thing and can get to, go to workshops etc., and my personal advice is don't limit your area of search geographically. It is nice to think the one you seek lives in the neighbourhood or similar, but if they are you must have been unlucky to not fallen over them before. Some get that lucky but many more have to look further afield....like the 16,000 kms we had to get to know each other over. Another point is not looking for the perfect glossy magazine representative of the role type you seek....they are few and far between and is no indication they are really that interested in being sub or Dom. Also keeping an open mind of preconceived ideas may be good.....there is always going to be that person out there to shoot them down in a good way and you might just miss them if you close your options by stereotyping or assuming the way things are. Good luck in looking and finding.

Catalina

 

[chagrin]

It's much harder for a sub to find a Dom than it is for a Dom to find a sub.

If you can find yourself a munch, betcha the single subs will outnumber the single Doms by at least two to one.

 

[Deadly Guardian]

Check out your area. See if they are in your area with the same interests. New Jersey cant be all vanilla. Search Dan you never know where an idea will present itself.